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Thread: He just disappeared on me without a word!

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    Question He just disappeared on me without a word!

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    It has been 7months now.....
    The last Ive heard from him was when he sent me an email in Feb. He said he has some intense opportunities and it was basically an order rather than a choice...
    There was nothing after that. No replies to my emails or msgs. His phone is off and he hasn't been online and he didn't block me or anything, he just straight up ghosted..
    We've been dating for 8 month and it was mutual love... nor him or I, ever experienced anything like this before. It was the love that you could write a book about. Romeo & Juliet got nothing on us...
    We made plans and it was hard for us but we were gonna achieve them no matter what.... We had obstacles in both of our lives but that wasn't going to stop us being together. We knew that we were made for each other, it was as if we computer programmed one another.
    Anyways, I have not had a chance to meet his family nor do I have their contact information, therefore I can't contact them and ask.
    The only reason I know he's alive his youtube channel. Every now and then he adds songs to his playlist, but he doesn't know I have it saved as my favorite....
    His story..... He was married before, didn't last... And he has two kids from an ex before me. (they were not married, in fact the reason they broke up is because she cheated on him multiple times)... She told him about the kids only recently and it was after he met me. It was a big shock for both of us. He even didn't talk to me for a month when he found out. ( He was scared to tell me and scared that I would leave him.) I asked him if he wanted to make it work with her for the kids and he told me that he would rather drop dead then ever get back with her. Anyways, we both knew that it was going to be a challenge for us, but it didn't stop our plans and eventually I was gonna move for him so we can be together. I did not mind the fact that he has kids now, we all have a past and we shouldn't be judged for our mistakes. I loved him regardless and I knew he would be a good father and if WE had kids as well, he had enough love in his heart to be fair and loving to all his children. We wanted to move to a state closer to where his kids were but not in the same state so we can avoid the drama with his ex.
    No one was going to be completely happy in this scenario but we loved each other to make the necessary sacrifices.

    So, I don't even know what kind of answers I'm looking for at this point. Finding closure is very hard when someone just ghosts you. We never fought, we were perfect together and the love we ha between us was so strong that its still hard for me to get my head around all of this..
    Now, I'm not an easily fooled naive woman, I know a liar when I see one, I know the difference between love and true love. And I know when its one sided or not. This is why Im still lost.
    If he went back to his ex and was too cowardly to tell me, then why not just block "me" only, instead of completely being offline everywhere? I also know that if that was the case he could've just read my emails and ignored them. But he didn't even open one. I sent him 5 since he disappeared.
    Some part of me wants to let go, because Im simply exhausted trying to look for closure and answers. And part of me still has hope that he will come back to me...
    I don't know where he is or what he is doing right now, all I know is that he is alive. There is no one I can ask and it drives me crazy sometimes.
    Im lost in vast space trying to figure out what the hell happened and why he couldn't tell me anything....

    Anyone has any advice on this with the same kind of expericence, I would appreciate it. Even if doesn't provide true answers to the situation.

    Thanks guys....

    Christina
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    #2
    Ooooops double post.
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    First of all, how can he have two kids with an ex that he didn't know about? Wouldn't he know about the first kid before they had sex and conceived a second? That's so confusing to me.

    Anyway, after 7 months I wouldn't even waste a single thought on him. It proves that he CAN get online since he adds songs to YouTube. People abandon Facebook and create a new account all the time. I go months sometimes without logging into mine.

    However, if you really want some answers, I would look up friends or relative on his Facebook since you're still friends with him and see if they can give some answers. I'm not a fan of doing that usually, but heck after 7 months of ghosting you, he doesn't deserve that courtesy of you not contacting friends and family.

    Have you met this guy in real life?
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by ChristinaHoffman View Post
    It has been 7months now.....
    The last Ive heard from him was when he sent me an email in Feb. He said he has some intense opportunities and it was basically an order rather than a choice...
    There was nothing after that. No replies to my emails or msgs. His phone is off and he hasn't been online and he didn't block me or anything, he just straight up ghosted..
    We've been dating for 8 month and it was mutual love... nor him or I, ever experienced anything like this before. It was the love that you could write a book about. Romeo & Juliet got nothing on us...
    We made plans and it was hard for us but we were gonna achieve them no matter what.... We had obstacles in both of our lives but that wasn't going to stop us being together. We knew that we were made for each other, it was as if we computer programmed one another.
    Anyways, I have not had a chance to meet his family nor do I have their contact information, therefore I can't contact them and ask.
    The only reason I know he's alive his youtube channel. Every now and then he adds songs to his playlist, but he doesn't know I have it saved as my favorite....
    His story..... He was married before, didn't last... And he has two kids from an ex before me. (they were not married, in fact the reason they broke up is because she cheated on him multiple times)... She told him about the kids only recently and it was after he met me. It was a big shock for both of us. He even didn't talk to me for a month when he found out. ( He was scared to tell me and scared that I would leave him.) I asked him if he wanted to make it work with her for the kids and he told me that he would rather drop dead then ever get back with her. Anyways, we both knew that it was going to be a challenge for us, but it didn't stop our plans and eventually I was gonna move for him so we can be together. I did not mind the fact that he has kids now, we all have a past and we shouldn't be judged for our mistakes. I loved him regardless and I knew he would be a good father and if WE had kids as well, he had enough love in his heart to be fair and loving to all his children. We wanted to move to a state closer to where his kids were but not in the same state so we can avoid the drama with his ex.
    No one was going to be completely happy in this scenario but we loved each other to make the necessary sacrifices.

    So, I don't even know what kind of answers I'm looking for at this point. Finding closure is very hard when someone just ghosts you. We never fought, we were perfect together and the love we ha between us was so strong that its still hard for me to get my head around all of this..
    Now, I'm not an easily fooled naive woman, I know a liar when I see one, I know the difference between love and true love. And I know when its one sided or not. This is why Im still lost.
    If he went back to his ex and was too cowardly to tell me, then why not just block "me" only, instead of completely being offline everywhere? I also know that if that was the case he could've just read my emails and ignored them. But he didn't even open one. I sent him 5 since he disappeared.
    Some part of me wants to let go, because Im simply exhausted trying to look for closure and answers. And part of me still has hope that he will come back to me...
    I don't know where he is or what he is doing right now, all I know is that he is alive. There is no one I can ask and it drives me crazy sometimes.
    Im lost in vast space trying to figure out what the hell happened and why he couldn't tell me anything....

    Anyone has any advice on this with the same kind of expericence, I would appreciate it. Even if doesn't provide true answers to the situation.

    Thanks guys....

    Christina
    What he did was really crappy and I'm sure it left you incredibly hurt and confused. But please do not try to get him back. After 7 months of no contact it's time to move on.

    Did you ever meet this man in person? Did he say he was in the military and did you have proof that he was telling the truth?




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    there is probably some things that I forgot to mention to make things more clearer.
    He has won kids, they are twins.
    Lol, of course we met in person, he had to leave after some time to go back to SC to train new recruits.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by ChristinaHoffman View Post
    there is probably some things that I forgot to mention to make things more clearer.
    He has won kids, they are twins.
    Lol, of course we met in person, he had to leave after some time to go back to SC to train new recruits.
    So he's a drill sergeant at Fort Jackson? Isn't that a non-deployable position?
    Never do anything halfway unless you want to be half happy.

    Is this a dream? If it is, please don't wake me from this high. I'd become comfortably numb
    until you opened up my eyes to what it's like when everything is right...I can't believe you found me ♥
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by missinghim View Post
    So he's a drill sergeant at Fort Jackson? Isn't that a non-deployable position?
    Here profile says Marine so I'm assuming she means Parris Island in SC




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    No, he's last contract ended in Feb. he was a Senior DI in parris Island. He's an active MOS 0659. God know what his order are now. He was suppose to relocate to California and that's when he disappeared....
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by ChristinaHoffman View Post
    there is probably some things that I forgot to mention to make things more clearer.
    He has won kids, they are twins.
    Lol, of course we met in person, he had to leave after some time to go back to SC to train new recruits.
    When you say "go back" does that mean he was just visiting when yall met or he was stationed where you lived then PCSed to South Carolina?


    Quote Originally Posted by ChristinaHoffman View Post
    No, he's last contract ended in Feb. he was a Senior DI in parris Island. He's an active MOS 0659. God know what his order are now. He was suppose to relocate to California and that's when he disappeared....
    So was it SC or CA?




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    #10
    You haven't heard from this guy for almost the same amount of time you knew him for. Time to let go and move on.
    ~Becca~


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