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Thread: How long will this go on? (whining sorry)

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    #1

    Sad How long will this go on? (whining sorry)

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    Hey guys.........So maybe its just the fact that I just got done with a 10 hour work day but I am super depressed about my situation with DB right now and could really use some help...(So embarrassing I am crying as I type; I miss him so much). So the whole time DB was in BMT I had very high hopes for when he started tech school. I thought we could talk for maybe an hour on the phone every night and visit every couple weekends since the base is near my house but that just does not seem to be the case at all from what I have read here in the forums online. He gets his phone back tomorrow but it seems like he will be busy studying or sleeping whenever hes not at school.... I am getting so sick of these 15 minute phone calls- what can be said in 15 minutes? and I want to see him every now and then but from what everyone says, he is going to be busy all the time studying it seems.

    On top of that, I thought once he got his first base he would have days off to talk to me but now I am just hearing that security forces is always deployed and busy and its horrible for families....Have I lost my boyfriend for 4 years? Does anyone know if AF security forces does deploy a lot?

    Any hope you all can give me would be so appreciated right now because I am feeling so low and depressed about it. I feel lost and I guess I just did not expect communication to be this rough- help/thanks!
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    #2
    I'm not sure how Air Force works but when my husband was at MOS school, which lasted around 8 months, we were able to talk quite a bit. We couldn't talk while he was in class but he was able to find time to talk throughout the week and when he was off on the weekends.

    To answer your question about deployment, I think it depends. My neighbor here was Air Force security forces and never deployed once the entire 6 years he was in.




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    #3
    My DH was security forces when we first met. He had some long days, but he was stationed in DC so we could still talk/see each other quite a bit. I know if he did security forces again he would probably go overseas to an embassy, but this is for the marines. I'm not sure how the air force does it.

    Do you have any hobbies to keep your mind off of his absence?

  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    Once operational, all SF I know have plenty of time. My friends here in Hawaii work shift, so they typically have days off during the week, and they don't work 12s. It all depends on the manning that squadron has.

    SF Tech school is not very long; 8 weeks if I remember correctly. You'll have time to talk, time to come see him, but his main focus is going to have to be school. As I stated in your other thread, you often learn the material you'll be tested on very soon before you take the actual test; studying is important. You're going to have to communicate your needs and desires to him and come to a compromise. His days during school will be long, roughly 10 hours between PT, getting ready and transiting to class, then class itself, transiting back, and EOD formation. Be patient and trust that he will talk and see you when he can.
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    #5
    Thanks guys! Again, sorry I am such a whiner. I have 16 months until I get my Bachelors degree and after all my hours of hard work, I almost just want to drop it and marry him and go live on a base with him because I miss him so much. I know this is not wise and I would regret it if I did it, I just feel like a part of me is missing all the time and I have actual physical pain in my heart today....I will get over this hump.
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    #6
    School / trainings are always hard. DF and I are long distance right now and have been since he left for OCS. He's now in flight school and will be another 9 months until he's finished with that. I know how frustrating it can be. I try to be okay with limited communication because I know how busy he is and sometimes on his off time he just wants to sleep and I don't want to bug him, mainly because I don't want to stress him out even more by being needy (and I can be!) just remember he wants to talk to you and be with you too but this has to come first right now.

    My best suggestion is to not get your hopes up. Don't plan weekly or bi weekly visits in your head already or hour long phone calls, because it probably will not happen and you will just feel sad and disappointed.
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    #7
    How often they deploy, in part, depends on what is going on in the world. When there were lots and lots of deployments, SF deployed all the time because they guard the installations and the personnel. I think they were on a six month rotation, six months gone, six months home. It is the nature of the job - they make sure the area they are assigned to is secure. Even when not deployed, it is a 24/7/365 job and I don't mean that just because they are military. There are some military careers that are more of a 5 day a week, normal business hours type career - think some of those that work in the military clinics/hospitals or those that do office type work. SF is not like that, they can be manning the base gates, patrolling the missile fields and flightlines etc., jobs that are required 24 hours a day. He will be working shifts and sometimes it will be rotating shifts. I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear. SF Airmen do have families and make it work, you just have to be patient and figure out how it can work for the two of you.
    Last edited by dekeoboe; 07-18-2016 at 08:40 AM. Reason: clarification
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    #8
    There is and never will be any silver bullet answer to any of this. I can tell you this, during training and school he is going to be real busy and pressed. What's so bad about a 15 minute phone call ? There are gonna be times you really relish those 15 minute chats. As other posters have said, deployments and dwell time all depend on what's going on in the world. Remember in the military things can and will change. This is a moving piece of machinery with lots of pieces.
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    #9
    I agree with everyone else training and school will always be like this (sleeping, eating, and studying). And as for once he gets on the job, I have no experience with SF, but the regular day-to-day schedule can be just as challenging. DB spent years working a 12+ hour day as his normal schedule just to keep up with the work load (he has a supply MOS). And then on the off time he was always on call for incidents. Just an example, when he was in Japan one of his guys was arrested and held in jail. My nightly 15 minute phone call for like a month for forfeited for DB to have all the time to complete the required visits, making sure the kid's wife had groceries and formula, and working legal to get him released. That's just one example of many that I could give and I'm sure others could share of how unpredictable and time demanding the profession can be. Try to carve out hobbies and interests that aren't completely wrapped up in him, it gives you definition as an individual and will help when communication and time is scarce. I almost want to say, just don't get your hopes up about anything, but that is such depressing and insensitive advice. But seriously, you will learn to appreciate the small victories, like 15 minute phone calls, uncancelled vacations, and uninterrupted dinners.
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    #10
    It is really not what I wanted to here but I do appreciate y'all being honest and blunt. I need to know the truth, I will learn to manage it, it just may take some time...
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