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Thread: Advice needed! My Navy bf disappeared 10 days ago.

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    #1

    Advice needed! My Navy bf disappeared 10 days ago.

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    Hi all. I just registered on this website to search for help.

    My Navy bf in Okinawa disappeared ten days ago after he dropped me an usual good morning message telling me how much he misses me last Wednesday. We met each other almost three months ago and we are in a committed relationship. He was actually planning on meeting my parents next week. Now he just disappeared. He used to contact me every single day. Last time when he didn't contact me for 24 hours, he dropped an email to apologize and told me that he lost his phone. Being out of touch is so not his normal character and behavior. He always tells me that no matter how busy he is, he would always have time to send me a good morning message and talk to me for a few minutes.

    He talked to me last Monday for over an hour through audio chat. We were both very excited about his visit next month. He also called me on Tuesday on his way to meet his friend and texted me when he got home. There's no sign that we were breaking up. I asked for his and one of his friends' number last Monday just in case. He said he would send them to me but he hasn't. And he is always super busy especially last week so I thought I would remind him on the weekend. Now I don't have his or his friends' number. He doesn't use FB. I sent him an email and he didn't reply. I sent him tons of messages on mobile app and he didn't reply. He just vanished in the air. He did mention last Sunday that the battery of his phone seems to be dying though.

    I don't know which camp he works at. He's in military and I am not an inquisitive person. Now I feel so dumb. I'm so freaked out. I dropped his many crying vocal messages last night and I feel so bad to do so. A community gave me the number of the police station of a camp where they guess he would work at. I don't know if I should try to contact them. I really don't know what to do. Any advices/opinions?
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    #2
    have you ever met this guy in person?
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by RetepDoc View Post
    have you ever met this guy in person?
    This.
    My DH and I are in Okinawa. There has been no comm issues as far as I know. Is it possible he's in the field?
    Honestly I wouldn't try contacting him anymore. As new as the relationship is, I would just either wait it out or move on...
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    Quote Originally Posted by RetepDoc View Post
    have you ever met this guy in person?
    Yes, I have. I was going to Okinawa with a date, but I found that he stopped talking to me but stayed on a dating website. But my flight and accommodation were non-refundable. My bf actually offered his friendship and help. We talked to each other for a month online. He picked me up when I arrived and he even went to the apartment I booked (I told him the password of the key box) to decorate it with candles, wine, presents and things I like or need he picked up from our conversations. He spent all his free time with me when I was there. He even paid for everything. We then defined our relationship. He raised it up. We kept talking everyday after I came back. He was planning on visiting me next month in Shanghai and then we would go to visit my parents. It was all his request. But then suddenly he just went missing like that. This is so not his style.
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    [QUOTE=*Palindrome*;10007439] This.
    My DH and I are in Okinawa. There has been no comm issues as far as I know. Is it possible he's in the field?
    Honestly I wouldn't try contacting him anymore. As new as the relationship is, I would just either wait it out or move on... [QUOTE/]

    I don't think it's comm issue, either. I don't know if it's possible that he's in the field. He told me his rank and it's pretty high. He's in administration, but I know that he supervises PT regularly. To be honest, except for waiting, I don't know what else I can do... Having to call local police freaks me out. I'm so scared. I don't know if he lost his phone or he's ill or he's in the field... And since we are not married, I won't get any information from the navy. I sent him a message on Friday telling him that I'm worried and I'm going to call his work. But he didn't reply to that either. It's just so odd. Last time when he lost his phone and didn't contact me for 24 hours, he dropped me an email, saying he's so sorry to make me suffer from anguish. But now there's nothing from him. Is it possible that he's sent on an exercise or mission or so?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lulub View Post
    Hi all. I just registered on this website to search for help.

    My Navy bf in Okinawa disappeared ten days ago after he dropped me an usual good morning message telling me how much he misses me last Wednesday. We met each other almost three months ago and we are in a committed relationship. He was actually planning on meeting my parents next week. Now he just disappeared. He used to contact me every single day. Last time when he didn't contact me for 24 hours, he dropped an email to apologize and told me that he lost his phone. Being out of touch is so not his normal character and behavior. He always tells me that no matter how busy he is, he would always have time to send me a good morning message and talk to me for a few minutes.

    He talked to me last Monday for over an hour through audio chat. We were both very excited about his visit next month. He also called me on Tuesday on his way to meet his friend and texted me when he got home. There's no sign that we were breaking up. I asked for his and one of his friends' number last Monday just in case. He said he would send them to me but he hasn't. And he is always super busy especially last week so I thought I would remind him on the weekend. Now I don't have his or his friends' number. He doesn't use FB. I sent him an email and he didn't reply. I sent him tons of messages on mobile app and he didn't reply. He just vanished in the air. He did mention last Sunday that the battery of his phone seems to be dying though.

    I don't know which camp he works at. He's in military and I am not an inquisitive person. Now I feel so dumb. I'm so freaked out. I dropped his many crying vocal messages last night and I feel so bad to do so. A community gave me the number of the police station of a camp where they guess he would work at. I don't know if I should try to contact them. I really don't know what to do. Any advices/opinions?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lulub View Post
    Yes, I have. I was going to Okinawa with a date, but I found that he stopped talking to me but stayed on a dating website. But my flight and accommodation were non-refundable. My bf actually offered his friendship and help. We talked to each other for a month online. He picked me up when I arrived and he even went to the apartment I booked (I told him the password of the key box) to decorate it with candles, wine, presents and things I like or need he picked up from our conversations. He spent all his free time with me when I was there. He even paid for everything. We then defined our relationship. He raised it up. We kept talking everyday after I came back. He was planning on visiting me next month in Shanghai and then we would go to visit my parents. It was all his request. But then suddenly he just went missing like that. This is so not his style.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lulub View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by *Palindrome* View Post
    This.
    My DH and I are in Okinawa. There has been no comm issues as far as I know. Is it possible he's in the field?
    Honestly I wouldn't try contacting him anymore. As new as the relationship is, I would just either wait it out or move on...
    I don't think it's comm issue, either. I don't know if it's possible that he's in the field. He told me his rank and it's pretty high. He's in administration, but I know that he supervises PT regularly. To be honest, except for waiting, I don't know what else I can do... Having to call local police freaks me out. I'm so scared. I don't know if he lost his phone or he's ill or he's in the field... And since we are not married, I won't get any information from the navy. I sent him a message on Friday telling him that I'm worried and I'm going to call his work. But he didn't reply to that either. It's just so odd. Last time when he lost his phone and didn't contact me for 24 hours, he dropped me an email, saying he's so sorry to make me suffer from anguish. But now there's nothing from him. Is it possible that he's sent on an exercise or mission or so?
    Admin does not go into the field. It's a desk/office job. And him supervising PT only means that he supervises a workout exercise.

    I don't think his job is the issue here.




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    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    Admin does not go into the field. It's a desk/office job. And him supervising PT only means that he supervises an exercise.

    I don't think his job is the issue here.
    It's so odd... If he's supervising an exercise, is it possible that he cannot contact anybody? I have tons of his photos and his friends' photos. I know his friends' given names. He actually told me a lot about his friends and himself, I just don't remember everything. Do you think I should post some photos somewhere and see if anyone can recognize them? I don't know if it could be a security issue...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lulub View Post
    It's so odd... If he's supervising an exercise, is it possible that he cannot contact anybody? I have tons of his photos and his friends' photos. I know his friends' given names. He actually told me a lot about his friends and himself, I just don't remember everything. Do you think I should post some photos somewhere and see if anyone can recognize them? I don't know if it could be a security issue...
    No, PT means "physical training" so a group of people exercise (run, do push ups, sit ups, etc) together. Most guys PT on their own and do group PTs every so often. It's just a way to stay physically fit.

    So he has no facebook and he never gave you any way to contact any of his friends? Are you asking if you should post some photos of his friends? I would not.

    At this point, I think the best thing you can do is wait it out.




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    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    No, PT means "physical training" so a group of people exercise (run, do push ups, sit ups, etc) together. Most guys PT on their own and do group PTs every so often. It's just a way to stay physically fit.

    So he has no facebook and he never gave you any way to contact any of his friends? Are you asking if you should post some photos of his friends? I would not.

    At this point, I think the best thing you can do is wait it out.
    I agree with idratherbehiking, I don't think his job is the issue.
    I wouldn't post pictures or call the police station, especially since your relationship is so new. Can you tell if he's read your messages? Is it possible that he is afraid of meeting your parents so he stopped talking?
    Either way, honestly, I don't think I would be ok with someone just disappearing for 10 days with no warning at all. If you do decide to wait it out, I would have a serious talk about communion if he comes back around.
    Sorry this is happening to you OP.
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    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    No, PT means "physical training" so a group of people exercise (run, do push ups, sit ups, etc) together. Most guys PT on their own and do group PTs every so often. It's just a way to stay physically fit.

    So he has no facebook and he never gave you any way to contact any of his friends? Are you asking if you should post some photos of his friends? I would not.

    At this point, I think the best thing you can do is wait it out.
    I know what PT is. I just thought exercises are different. Afterall I know nothing about American military. Maybe he's just not allowed to contact me at this moment since I'm not American? I don't know... I don't have his friends' contact. I only have their photos and names and stories. I asked him last Monday, but he hasn't sent it to me yet. He took two people's work last week cuz his coworker is on leave. And then last Tuesday one of his friends wanted to see him to talk about some family issues. He called me when he was off work, but I was in a meeting. Then he called again when he was on his way to see his friend, but it was a very short call. He texted me when he got home. It was late. He texted me at 5am on Wednesday when he woke up to say good morning, have a great day and he misses me so much. Nothing else ever since. That's why I didn't have a chance to remind him to send me the contacts.

    I don't think posting photos is a good idea, either. I'm just desperate as you can see. I think you are absolutely right. All I can do now is to wait it out. "Not know" is killing me though... He told me he has his holiday approved around the new year time next month to visit me. Maybe I should just wait and see what happens by then... It's just so hard. I'm so used to receiving his messages and calls everyday... And I hope he's not ill or something bad has happened to him.
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