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Thread: How to keep a LDR?

  1. Old Newbie
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    #1

    Whatever How to keep a LDR?

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    DB and I have never been in a long distance relationship before, any advice for me and him to keep this relationship work out in the first years when he is deployed ?
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    #2
    Hello,

    You and me are in same boat. I would be interested to hear what advice people give you to implement in my own life. So far I have been told that is all about communication and that you've just got to be very honest with each other.
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    #3
    communication is key... text, email, Skype, letter writing etc. LDR's are difficult but doable!
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    #4
    Definitely communication! And discuss boundaries and expectations before he goes ... it's good to set a baseline of how ya'll want to handle distance, rather than trying to work it out after the fact when there may be hurt feelings and communication issues.
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    #5
    So you've done the long distance thing? My worry is that we're kinda going to be stuck. I want marriage down the line and I'm not sure how a relationship progresses when you don't get to see each other that often.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Bookworm_SCL View Post
    So you've done the long distance thing? My worry is that we're kinda going to be stuck. I want marriage down the line and I'm not sure how a relationship progresses when you don't get to see each other that often.
    That is not true at all. After my DH and I met he was deployed shortly after and I have to say that we grew even closer during that deployment because our relationship was strictly communication .... we learned some serious communication skills!!!
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    #7
    I can deffinently see that. But how do you go from long distance to uprooting my life to follow him to a port?
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    #8
    I agree with kw1214. You get to know your SO in a way you wouldn't if you were around each other all the time. That's the good thing about LDR; you never take each other for granted and you get to fall in love time and time again. The thing I struggle with the most is on my end; just the being patient and realizing that even though he's thinking about me and missing me, he can't always express it as often as I can. Patience and communication.

    Something that really helped me is whenever I would feel lonely or neglected by him, I would put myself in his shoes and think about how he felt at that moment. And I would either write him a letter, or put together a care package, or cuddle closer to the teddy bear he bought me. Whatever would make me feel better, and HIM feel better at the same time. It's very therapeutic.
  9. Senior Member
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Bookworm_SCL View Post
    So you've done the long distance thing? My worry is that we're kinda going to be stuck. I want marriage down the line and I'm not sure how a relationship progresses when you don't get to see each other that often.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bookworm_SCL View Post
    I can deffinently see that. But how do you go from long distance to uprooting my life to follow him to a port?
    MANY people on this board went from an LDR to getting married to their SO. Some go years and years in an LDR. Think about it, most couples start dating when they're at the same place. Then, someone moves for work/school/PCS/whatever and they keep dating despite the long distance. It's not meant to last forever, just as long as necessary. For some the end result is marriage and following their partner to a new city. For others, the one who moved away will return at a designated time.

    I hate to break it to you, but it's very likely your SO could PCS at some point during his enlistment. You can marry him and go with him to his new state/country. But for other couples, that's not an option.




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    #10
    I was in an LDR with DH (then DB) for a year and the most important things to work on is communication and finding a talking schedule that works for both of you. Also, you are going to want to stay busy, so don't put your life on pause just because he's not around. Go out and enjoy yourself!




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