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Thread: Boyfriend is leaving for Korea and need some advice

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    #1

    Boyfriend is leaving for Korea and need some advice

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    Hey, so my boyfriend and I have known each other for 5 years and have been dating for just over a year. He found out he'll be stationed in Korea and we're trying to figure out what to do about us. We've talked about how it kind of doesn't make sense for us to stay together since he'll be gone for so long and to just take a break up and see if we can pick it back up when he comes back (if we're both still single). Neither of us want to actually break up but I mean...it's Korea. He'll be asleep while i'm awake, and vice versa. I want to stay with him but i'm not sure how i'll handle communicating so rarely. Any advice about this or if anyone has dated someone in Korea and knows how it'll is would be awesome
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    If he's someone that you really care about and can see a future with, then I wouldn't break up just because of the distance. DH is stationed in Japan and I'm on East Coast US and we communicate very regularly. He's 13 hours ahead of me (I think Korea is a similar difference if not the same). We generally talk in my morning, his evening when he's in port and we email daily when he's out on the boat. How long is DB stationed in Korea? 2 or 3 years? You can always go visit him - I already have plans to go to Japan over the holiday and again next summer. Part of being a military spouse is just accepting that time apart. There are many on this forum that have spent more time away from their spouse than with them over several year periods. It's not easy, but it's definitely do-able for the right person. For someone I care about, I would at least try. But you have to do whats good for you.
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    YOU CAN DO IT!!! I am in the exact same boat, my fiance is stationed in Japan but we make it work. Only being 21 I didn't think it was fair to give my life to somebody who I would never see but I also knew that what we had is so special and important. It gets so hard at times but when you first see your solider after months apart there is no better feeling in the entire world. I would do it all over again just to see the reaction he had when I got off the plane! I have 7 months until he has stateside and it is going to be awful but you make it work, you stay up late or wake up early just to talk for an hour. It isn't the easiest but committing to a serviceman is rewarding and worth it if you're in love.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChristinaNicole View Post
    If he's someone that you really care about and can see a future with, then I wouldn't break up just because of the distance. DH is stationed in Japan and I'm on East Coast US and we communicate very regularly. He's 13 hours ahead of me (I think Korea is a similar difference if not the same). We generally talk in my morning, his evening when he's in port and we email daily when he's out on the boat. How long is DB stationed in Korea? 2 or 3 years? You can always go visit him - I already have plans to go to Japan over the holiday and again next summer. Part of being a military spouse is just accepting that time apart. There are many on this forum that have spent more time away from their spouse than with them over several year periods. It's not easy, but it's definitely do-able for the right person. For someone I care about, I would at least try. But you have to do whats good for you.

    Thanks, I do care about him a lot which is why this is so scary for me right now. He's been in a different state for a couple months and we've been using that as a trial run and things have been going great actually
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emilyk View Post
    YOU CAN DO IT!!! I am in the exact same boat, my fiance is stationed in Japan but we make it work. Only being 21 I didn't think it was fair to give my life to somebody who I would never see but I also knew that what we had is so special and important. It gets so hard at times but when you first see your solider after months apart there is no better feeling in the entire world. I would do it all over again just to see the reaction he had when I got off the plane! I have 7 months until he has stateside and it is going to be awful but you make it work, you stay up late or wake up early just to talk for an hour. It isn't the easiest but committing to a serviceman is rewarding and worth it if you're in love.
    Yeah, we're both 22 and that was a big part of my thought process
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    You can totally make it work. Just think, if it works out, you two would have the rest of your lives to be together (once he retires of course!). I try to look at the positive and I try to look at the bigger picture. No matter what, life has a way of working itself out
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    #7
    I agree with PPs. You don't have to give up just because he's going to be far away. If you two want to be together, be together! There's ways to make it work. Honestly, the way I see it, if it were 1965 and he were moving to Korea, you'd be looking at breaking up and trying again later as pretty much the only option outside of getting hitched and going with him... but it's 2015! There's writing letters, sending care packages, iMessage, FaceTime, Glide, and most importantly, airplanes.

    It would require a lot of effort, but breaking up isn't the only option. Plenty of people here are in long distance relationships and marriages.
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    I agree with making it work if you truly want it to. My DH is in Japan, he has been for an while now. You learn to adapt.
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    When we have our talk when he gets back i'll talk to him about trying. Thanks everybody!
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    #10
    I'm in Boston and my DB is in Guam, we have about a 14 hour time difference. It is hard, very hard at times, and at one point in our relationship I thought I couldn't handle it so I told him I needed a break. What I found was I loved him and it was easier having a 14 hour time difference, than not having him at all. So, we figure it out and make it work. LDR's are definitely not for everyone, I personally had to change a LOT and become stronger and more independent so that I can be happy in this type of relationship. But, it helps knowing it is temporary Good luck to you both!
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