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Thread: Anyone familiar with dating challenges with medics?

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    ShannRaff's Avatar
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    #1

    Neutral Anyone familiar with dating challenges with medics?

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    Hello all! This is my first ever post and I'm hoping for some honest, knowledgeable, and hopefully positive advice. I am currently on active duty and my boyfriend is as well. We met while I was at Ft. Stewart, GA and he at Benning (4 hours apart), but we obviously made it work out and have been together for 14 months.

    My boyfriend PCS-ed to Korea in April, and up until about 3 weeks ago, our communication was pretty good overall. My guy is a medic, and a staff sergeant at that, for a very small unit that is stretched thin throughout Korea. I know how busy he gets, not to mention exhausted, and I know that this month they are expected to be in the field (though I'm not sure what days or for how long.) It's never been uncommon for us to go 3-10 days without hearing from each other, but I literally haven't heard from him AT ALL in 3 weeks. I'm starting to panic. We didn't have a fight (we've never had bad blood between us) and Matt is not one for secrecy. Several times in our relationship when I expressed concern, he assured me that if he were angry or upset with me or if he decided he didn't want to continue in the relationship, that he wouldn't "ghost me" and disappear, but rather just tell me. I've never had reason to suspect him of cheating, either. He's been there for just 4 months and has barely had time to make real friends. We're also 28 and 30, so neither of us is into the party scene (I know a lot of young Joes dig that kind of a thing.)

    I honestly can't imagine what might be wrong, and I've been trying my best to not bombard him with calls or messages saying "I'm worried" (though I have sent a few.) He rarely goes onto facebook, and I know he hasn't seen the message I sent him there. He hasn't been on skype either. Typically we talk through Kakao, but so far all of my texts and calls have gone unanswered. I am so worried right now to the point that I haven't been able to eat or sleep (I'm already a petite girl, so that's not very good.) I don't know whether I'm jsut over-reacting or have legitimate reason to worry...not sure whether he's okay or if I somehow did something of which I'm not aware, but this is VERY unlike him. Typically his parents or myself are the people he'll talk to first, so to not hear from him at all in 3 weeks is killing me.

    I was wondering if any of you ladies or gents are familiar with dating or being married to medics....or people stationed in Korea and training in the field....and if any of you have had similiar experiences. And any recommendations as to what I should do/not do would really be helpful. As you can imagine, this isn't just an on-again, off-again fling with a young boy. This is a relationship of over a year with no bad blood and lots of honesty and affection. I need peace of mind!
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    #2
    I haven't been with someone stationed in Korea but my DF is in the Middle East right now. I haven't heard from him in a few days but I'm not expecting to since it's the first part of his deployment there. I would expect that your boyfriend is busy since you said his unit was spread thin. I have to say I've had the same concerns about ghosting. However I also believe men will tell you who they are straight up.

    Examples: If he says he doesnt ghost then he doesn't. If he says he's not looking for something serious but then makes you feel like he is, he still isn't because he told you ahead of time that he isn't.

    From my experience men will tell you what they want and who they are and we just have to listen. Have faith and wait for him to answer. <<this is what I tell myself every time I don't hear from my DF. I have a tendency to get caught up in why he hasn't texted or called too when I should be thinking about how he wants to marry me or how we wanna pcs together or something more positive.

    Hopefully he will contact you soon!
    My inbox is open if you need a buddy.
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    #3
    Hi Welcome to the forums!

    Since you said he was supposed to go to the field, it very well could be that he is in the field. There are a heap of things that could be going on. Comms could have gone down.

    I hope you hear something soon.
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    #4
    I really appreciate the feedback. youd like I'd be a little calmer as a service member, but obviously I'm thinking and worrying as a girlfriend and not a soldier. thanks so much for the words of wisdom. I appreciate all of your sacrifices as well!
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    #5
    Yes first and foremost you are a woman! The worries are still the same!!
    It actually makes me worry less too now that I know even as a service member you worry too! Thanks for your post as well.
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    #6
    I'm crazy with worry! absolutely not thinking like a soldier....thinking like Shannon the girlfriend in this case

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