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Thread: how to trust DH on deployment

  1. Fresh Newbie
    fieryliquidaura's Avatar
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    #1

    Confused how to trust DH on deployment

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    I am in a LDR with my DH. married 7 years and 10 years before marriage, off and on relationship.
    we've been doing well during the past 3 years he's been in the navy. he hasn't gone on a deployment until three months ago with five more to go.
    before he left, he did something VERY stupid (that I cannot post on here) that made me not trust him.
    if he hadn't gone on deployment, we'd have been able to work on it, but the stupid thing happened a couple nights before deployment. now, I am finding it hard to trust him. (as in I am scared he will cheat on me).
    how do I deal with this?
    Let me know if more info is needed.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by fieryliquidaura View Post
    I am in a LDR with my DH. married 7 years and 10 years before marriage, off and on relationship.
    we've been doing well during the past 3 years he's been in the navy. he hasn't gone on a deployment until three months ago with five more to go.
    before he left, he did something VERY stupid (that I cannot post on here) that made me not trust him.
    if he hadn't gone on deployment, we'd have been able to work on it, but the stupid thing happened a couple nights before deployment. now, I am finding it hard to trust him. (as in I am scared he will cheat on me).
    how do I deal with this?
    Let me know if more info is needed.
    It seems like you have these fears and feelings for good reason. It can be very difficult to rebuild trust, and even more so when you are in different countries. Did he already cheat and you asking how to learn to trust again? Depending on what he did, it is hard to give good advice w/o details...
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    #3
    I don't want to pry either, but it is hard to know what happened. In any case, if he did something really stupid, it sounds like your feelings are justified. I don't really have any advice but..
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    #4
    You can either trust him or not. There is nothing YOU can do to change that. HE can do things to try to allay your fears, but simply, you have faith or you don't, and he either is going to cheat or he is not. If he wants to he will, and you may not find out about it, but nothing you do can stop him. If you become overly paranoid and obsessive, he may cheat just to say "you pushed me into this by not trusting me" type of BS.
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