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Thread: How bad could a deployment possibly get...

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    Nutts How bad could a deployment possibly get...

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    Dating my sailor for about 6 months. I moved in across the country to stay with his family. Things wenre't stable in the household I was in when I met my sailor. I've lived here in WV for almost 2 months. This is the first deployment I've ever endured. Everything was fine & dandy til he made a weird post on FB. Then he flat out said he hasn't been happy & will talk to me when he comes home ( he comes home on leave in about 2 weeks). I've been sick to my stomach. Yes, we've had conflict. Every relationship has it. It shocked everyone so much, his mom chewed his ass out & told him to really think this thru. Her & I had a heart to heart a few hours ago. we both were in tears. this is so random for him to all of a sudden, out of the blue say he doesn't want to be with me. everyone keeps saying that it's the stress of the deployment getting to him...is a deployment really this hellish for him to break things off with me? any advice will help. i dont know what im going to do with myself before he comes....
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by marinaelise View Post
    Dating my sailor for about 6 months. I moved in across the country to stay with his family. Things wenre't stable in the household I was in when I met my sailor. I've lived here in WV for almost 2 months. This is the first deployment I've ever endured. Everything was fine & dandy til he made a weird post on FB. Then he flat out said he hasn't been happy & will talk to me when he comes home ( he comes home on leave in about 2 weeks). I've been sick to my stomach. Yes, we've had conflict. Every relationship has it. It shocked everyone so much, his mom chewed his ass out & told him to really think this thru. Her & I had a heart to heart a few hours ago. we both were in tears. this is so random for him to all of a sudden, out of the blue say he doesn't want to be with me. everyone keeps saying that it's the stress of the deployment getting to him...is a deployment really this hellish for him to break things off with me? any advice will help. i dont know what im going to do with myself before he comes....
    If it were me, I would make arrangements to move back home. I wouldn't wait for a man who dumped me at his parent's house. That makes for a bad situation. I'm sorry




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    When a man breaks up with you, it isn't about the deployment. It is about him. No matter how bad the deployment may or may not have been, he is willing to give you up. That tells you all you really need to know.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    When a man breaks up with you, it isn't about the deployment. It is about him. No matter how bad the deployment may or may not have been, he is willing to give you up. That tells you all you really need to know.
    THIS! ^^^^^^^^^
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    When a man breaks up with you, it isn't about the deployment. It is about him. No matter how bad the deployment may or may not have been, he is willing to give you up. That tells you all you really need to know.
    Having just gone through a breakup during deployment, I couldn't agree with this more
    ~Becca~


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    #6
    I'm sorry for the situation that you are stuck in, that's a tough one. It's hard enough to go through a break up during a deployment under normal circumstances, but I can't even imagine also being in his home, with his family. Like Villanelle said, if he's willing to give you up, you deserve better. Make arrangements to move home (or if your home situation is bad, make arrangements to move out of his family's house) and be done with it. You deserve better than that.

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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    When a man breaks up with you, it isn't about the deployment. It is about him. No matter how bad the deployment may or may not have been, he is willing to give you up. That tells you all you really need to know.
    I agree with this. My relationship ended right after deployment ended. But that's not to say that I didn't get those types of emails/phone calls during the deployment. At the time, I chalked it up to stress. He would make the excuse that he's seen things that make him realize his life could be taken at any moment and he didn't want to burden me- which, considering what he had seen that day, sorta made sense. But regardless, there was underlying doubt in the relationship to have let those types of thoughts become actions. It really sucks, but this shows that he's unsure of your relationship. And all the talks from you, family members, friends, etc can't and shouldn't be the factors that change his mind. No one wants to talk someone else into a relationship with them. If for some crazy reason, this deployment was really THAT stressful, then I suppose the relationship could be salvageable. But ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who flakes when things get difficult.
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    #8
    May I ask, why did you move to live with his parents? After dating only six months? i would like to understand that.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Sally View Post
    May I ask, why did you move to live with his parents? After dating only six months? i would like to understand that.
    Exactly!! And do you really want to devote yourself to someone that goes when the going gets tough? I really think deployments make or break relationships...

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