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Thread: Do you ever get jealous when your SO hangs out with his friends?

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    #1

    Do you ever get jealous when your SO hangs out with his friends?

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    Ok I know this sounds bad but sometimes I feel bad/ slightly jealous when my boyfriend hangs out with his friends on the weekend. He is in intel school and he works SO hard (hes the top of his class) so he deserves a break but i miss him! its been 8 months since i've seen him. and we talk during the week but barely. Usually I'll send him a good morning message and he'll either reply to it around 11ish (chow) or 5 (classes end). Then a few messages are sent from 9:30-10. I know its not fair to be jealous because I know he loves me and tries to talk to me whenever possible but he is with his friends ALL DAY and when they hang out on the weekends then its less time that i talk to him because he'll be away for 5-7 hours after work. Idk I guess I just needed to vent a little. I love him and glad he gets to relax but i think just me not seeing him for so long makes the little things harder.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by browneyes124 View Post
    Ok I know this sounds bad but sometimes I feel bad/ slightly jealous when my boyfriend hangs out with his friends on the weekend. He is in intel school and he works SO hard (hes the top of his class) so he deserves a break but i miss him! its been 8 months since i've seen him. and we talk during the week but barely. Usually I'll send him a good morning message and he'll either reply to it around 11ish (chow) or 5 (classes end). Then a few messages are sent from 9:30-10. I know its not fair to be jealous because I know he loves me and tries to talk to me whenever possible but he is with his friends ALL DAY and when they hang out on the weekends then its less time that i talk to him because he'll be away for 5-7 hours after work. Idk I guess I just needed to vent a little. I love him and glad he gets to relax but i think just me not seeing him for so long makes the little things harder.
    No, I never got jealous. Remember that 'hanging out' at work is very different than hanging out outside of work, and hanging out outside of work is not only great to let off steam, but also for building relationships and team-building. Having friends outside the relationship is a very healthy thing, and shouldnt ever be discouraged or guilt-inducing.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.VinoVet View Post
    No, I never got jealous. Remember that 'hanging out' at work is very different than hanging out outside of work, and hanging out outside of work is not only great to let off steam, but also for building relationships and team-building. Having friends outside the relationship is a very healthy thing, and shouldnt ever be discouraged or guilt-inducing.
    She said what I was thinking very well.
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    #4
    The only jealousy I feel is when they go out that I want to go out with them and do the things they do also. If he has fun doing an activity, I encourage him to do it and then insist that when we are together we do that activity.

    However, jealousy over him hanging out with friends, no. As long as he plans his time so I am still a priority, I'm okay with it.
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    Last edited by Amalia; 05-19-2015 at 01:24 PM.
  6. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #6
    I guess it would depend, I could see being jealous if he hung out with his friends all weekend and you guys didn't get to talk at all. If he makes time for you though but also hangs out with his friends in addition to talking/texting with you, I think that is normal and healthy behavior for him. Like a PP said, if he is prioritizing you as well I don't think there is a reason to be jealous.
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    #7
    Nope. If I felt he wasn't making me enough of a priority, that would be an issue, but that is something different then jealousy. If that is the actual issue for you, OP, then it is something you should discuss with him.

    I'm happy for DH when he hangs out with friends and does things to make sure he has a full, happy complete life and that he has relationships outside of just me and his family. When we aren't seeing each other a lot, I might feel sad we aren't together, but that feeling is much less strong than my support for his friendships. He works damn hard and going out with his friends is good for him, so I see it as a positive.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #8
    Distance can really suck sometimes. I wouldn't say I get jealous of DH hanging out with his friends when we're apart... it's more like I'm envious of the people who do get to hang out with him because he's awesome and I wish I was there to hang out too!
    But I would rather he hang out with them and have fun during the time we have to be apart, than not.

    Just the same way when he's gone I make plans with my friends and have fun too. Especially with military stuff, the time apart is going to take as long as it takes whether we spend it happy, having fun, or sulky and miserable. I love texting and stuff with him, but honestly-- I don't spend that much time on the phone b/c my life is simply not that exciting from one day to the next.

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