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Thread: SO wants to be stationed overseas

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    #1

    Help SO wants to be stationed overseas

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    Hi all, so today my boyfriend mentioned that he wanted to be stationed overseas and wanted to know what I thought about it. He's in the states right now in a place thats relatively close to me so I could still see him once a month or every other month or so. But today he told me that he wanted to try and be stationed in Korea and that if he managed it he'd be there for a year but then would want to go to another overseas base like Japan. He's halfway through his 6 year enlistment and would basically be stationed overseas for the rest of it if he went through with it. I've been through with a deployment with him and that was a bit challenging emotionally but somehow we made it. Its one thing being stationed close enough to him to be able to see him once in awhile but if he was overseas I know I likely wouldn't get to see him for a couple years unless he took leave. I wanted to know how to cope with this kind of thing because I know he wants to travel. I'm just so used to having the option to see him and touch him that this felt like a bomb dropping. I want to support him I'm just not sure how.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Animerai View Post
    Hi all, so today my boyfriend mentioned that he wanted to be stationed overseas and wanted to know what I thought about it. He's in the states right now in a place thats relatively close to me so I could still see him once a month or every other month or so. But today he told me that he wanted to try and be stationed in Korea and that if he managed it he'd be there for a year but then would want to go to another overseas base like Japan. He's halfway through his 6 year enlistment and would basically be stationed overseas for the rest of it if he went through with it. I've been through with a deployment with him and that was a bit challenging emotionally but somehow we made it. Its one thing being stationed close enough to him to be able to see him once in awhile but if he was overseas I know I likely wouldn't get to see him for a couple years unless he took leave. I wanted to know how to cope with this kind of thing because I know he wants to travel. I'm just so used to having the option to see him and touch him that this felt like a bomb dropping. I want to support him I'm just not sure how.
    In my opinion, one of the best things about being in the military / being a dependent of a military member is the opportunity to live overseas. I mean, how cool is it that someone is willing to PAY you to live in a foreign (meaning exciting!) country?

    I understand your feelings and want to address them. First of all, if he is stationed overseas that is better than a deployment (in my opinion) because he will have the ability to communicate with you every day if he so chooses. Skype, instant messaging, Kakao and all that AND there are apps that allow you to call internationally for free!

    And why wouldn't you get to see him unless he took leave? You absolutely can visit both Korea and Japan any time that you wish!
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    😳well I'm not his dependent at the moment. We've been dating for almost 4 years but marriage is something that we talked-about happening once I finished school which if everything goes smoothly would be around the time his first enlistment ends. I actually wonder what it would be like if I was.But with school and all I don't think I could afford what it would take to fly to Korea. I guess what shocks me is not having the opportunity to see him the way I normally I get to for such a long time
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    My SO is being stationed in Germany for 3 years and we have been together for 1.5 years - all long distance - but this will be a true test for us as well. If he is stationed there he should still get leave and you guys could try to split travel costs? Communication will be the key because of the time difference is so different it will take a commitment to figuring out how to stay in touch. I mean this could be exciting for him and a great way to see the world and if you could figure out how to visit a great way for you to see things too! Plus if he is done in a few years you at least know when this will end and you can plan to start your lives in the same place. My SO will probably re en-list and there are so many things up in the air with what that means for us - since I will be the one to have to move and start a new life. I would just sit down and talk everything out - even the questions you don't want to ask - but if you have already been together for 4 years and you have talked about marriage there is a a lot of love there and it will be tested if you are apart but that doesn't mean it can't work. It could also give you the time to commit to school and do things you have always wanted to do before you two commit to one another forever. Try not to focus on the what ifs.
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    Yea I've been thinking about it like that as well. I could be done with school by the time he's back and could focus more on me. But there's always the physical closeness you miss. He's like my slice of paradise and I'm so used to looking forward to seeing him every other month. We both come from a small town and he's set on traveling around the world during his first enlistment before he makes another rank (something about it being harder to move around once your a higher rank).

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