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Thread: Feeling very alone and disheartened.

  1. Fresh Newbie
    bcastle's Avatar
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    #1

    Feeling very alone and disheartened.

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    Hi all.
    I'm very new to this. My boyfriend is now in Basic Training. Within the next few weeks he should be graduating and going to AIT for 26 weeks.

    I'm not used to so little communication. Lately I have been feeling very ill, lonely, and depressed. This is my first experience with the Army as no one in my family has ever gone.
    I'm so terrified. Some days I feel like I'm on top of the world, and the luckiest girl alive. Others (such as today) I feel miserable, and I feel like I'm not going to be alright. No one really understands. I keep being told "You'll be fine." "You're acting weird." and the best comment yet "If you're miserable leave him."

    The truth is I have thought about it. But I absolutely cannot. I'm totally in love with my soldier. I'm only 18 years old. I'm so terrified of what kinds of things I'll have to do on my own--such as graduating college. My soldier is in for 4 years. He told me to stay strong, because I'm his rock in all of this. But what can I do? How can I stay strong when I feel so awful inside...?

    I'm trying so hard but each passing week of no communication, and continuous thoughts and fears of future deployments are breaking me down very quickly.
    I write him daily, but I obviously will not tell him I'm miserable. I keep my letters cheery so he'll feel alright. I know if I can wait it out we can be so very happy together; but I need a little help getting through this.

    I would love nothing more than to hear other experiences--the good and the bad.
    Thank you all in advance.

    **I also suffer from diagnosed anxiety/depression so I feel like the odds are against me.**
  2. The name says it all!
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    #2
    Welcome to the forum! I can't tell you what the schools will be like, but my husband was deployed back in 2012 and we did okay. Given, I had a baby to keep me busy, but it is different everyone. Do you have a hobby that you've wanted to try? I made my husband so many care packages it was quite cathartic. Write him, keep a journal for yourself, think of things you guys can do when he has leave, etc. I hope you can find the help you need here. Feel free to pm me!

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




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    #3
    For hobbies I've been doing a lot of physical things, hiking, working out, running etc. This makes me focus a lot more on how much I hate exercise instead of me being lonely! My main problem right now is I'm on winter break for college, so I don't have 100-much needed things weighing me down! This semester I made sure to take extra credit hours just so I'd be so busy.
    Do you live on base? He asked me to try and give him 2 years to get used to Army life, then he'd love to get married. I'm curious as to how life is while married to an Active duty soldier.
    I'm just hoping I can stay strong enough to do this! I know he is, and it's killing me because I know I'm the "weakest link" so to speak.
  4. The name says it all!
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    #4
    We don't live near a base since my husband is in the Reserves now, but if he's willing to work it out with you and from what I read, you want to support him no matter what, it sounds like you guys can make it! Good luck!

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




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    #5
    Thank you! We're still young so hopefully our time apart will move quickly since we'll be so preoccupied! (I hope)
  6. The name says it all!
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    #6
    Just stay busy and you'll be surprised at how fast time flies!

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




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    I hope so! I truly hope I'll be able to speak to him more once he finishes Basic! The way it seems is Soldiers have a bit more privileges during AIT. And he may even be able to receive visitors every so often. I realllllllly need Basic to be over! I'm starting to consider speaking to a counselor too. Hopefully they can help calm the anxiety a bit.
  8. The name says it all!
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    #8
    If you think it'd help to alleviate some of your anxiety, I say do it! I hope you can pass the time quickly, hon!

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




  9. Senior Member
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    #9
    If you have diagnosed anxiety and depression, get thee to a counselor ASAP, and consider meds, either a daily med or an as-needed.

    When you stopped seeing the counselor that diagnosed you, what did s/he say? Was there a reason you stopped?
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  10. we were all rooting for you
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    #10
    I have suffered (and still do) from anxiety and depression and I understand some of your feelings. My biggest advice to you is to talk to someone, like a counselor or therapist. Do not let your sadness or anxiety get to the point where it completely controls you and your life - it is so much harder to dig yourself out of that hole. I'd recommend speaking to someone sooner rather than later. You can get through it if you reach for the help you need.
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