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Thread: How to support my man while he's away

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    How to support my man while he's away

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    Hi everyone! My navy bf is about to go away on his first deployment (6 months). He won't have regular internet access/ability to make phonecalls.

    When he's been away at training before he says he feels really disconnected from me, his family and friends. I would talk to him/message/email facebook everyday.

    How can I better support my man so that he knows he's loved and supported by the people who care for him? What helps keep that connection going?

    Looking forward to the loads of wisdom from all you lovely ladies!
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    #2
    Will he be on a ship? If so, he will have very regular internet access, so that should help. He likely wont' be able to Skype or maybe even Facebook, but he can send and receive emails. If it is a smaller ship, the emails sometime take a couple days to get to him (or to get sent out), but for the most part, it's fairly reliable.

    So assuming he will have email, just send him lots of messages, unless he requests otherwise. I email DH almost daily when he's on the ship. He doesn't have time every day to respond, and I'v made it clear I understand and don't expect daily emails. But I send him stuff about the silly details of my day--basically the same stuff we'd talk about if he was home. That way, he still feels connected to me and to the life I'm living while he's gone. Even if the doesn't have regular internet (like on subs), you should still be able to send regular emails, I believe. He just may not get them regularly. In that case, I would probably send fewer and keep them shorter, so he isn't overwhelmed when he does get email, but still make an effort to keep him up to date on some of the veryday things in your world.

    Many people do care packages, too. I never do because it's just not my thing and DH says he doesn't need more stuff. (My mom send him care packages aver 4-6 weeks, though even some of that he ends up sharing.) But for many, it's a good way to show that you are thinking of him, so you might want to ask him if he'd like care packages, and if so, what kind of stuff he'd want. Since it's his first deployment, he might not know yet what he'll actually use.
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    #3
    I email everyday. Even if email is down. That way when it is back up he'll get a bunch. Just number them cause email can be wonky and he'll get stuff out of order. I tell him what is going on with the kids and I, local and national news, extended family.....though I do try to not bring something up from/about someone I know emails him while he is gone. After I know they have shared then I'll discuss. They are not always long emails. Some are. Other are only a few lines or just 'I love and miss you'. We have an agreement that he gets a picture of the kids everyday as well. If I'm included great.... He'd like to see me in more, but I'm usually the one taking the pics. What we did before, when digital pics were not as big, I'd put together a photo album for every care package. But now he takes favorites in a photo album in his seabag.

    We do care packages every month. I get one and the kids do their own. They range from food, stuff he can't get on the ship...to holiday stuff, or birthday/anniversary themed. He missed our anniversary last deployment. I made a care package just for it. I put in little Debbie cakes of my favorite type of cake, a CD I had found while he was gone and fell in love with this one song...attached a post-it saying to listen to that song, a journal I had been writing in, another notebook with quotes and poems...stuff like that. For Halloween we sent masks, face paint, wigs, etc.
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    #4
    Sending a care package would be nice. Are you able to Skype? Pictures and letters are good because they're tangible and he can look at them when technology is down.
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    #5
    Hand write and mail a letter a day and keep him involved in your life.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
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    #6
    Personalized care packages & hand written letters.

    Incorporate things that he enjoys, or that you both enjoy doing together. Make each box a different theme. Decorate one with his favorite sports team, with typically game day snacks and foot ball related gifts. Make another a "first date" box, with decorations that relate to the first date you went on-- if it was a movie, do a movie themed box reminded him that was your first date, including popcorn, movie theater snacks, and some DVDs. Stuff like that. They are perfectly happy with just a plain box stuffed with goodies, but I feel like taking the time to put a nicer box together goes a long way to show you put in the effort to make it special just for him.

    Spray your letters with your perfume, seal them with a kiss, all those cliche things that you think are super cheesy... I mean, randomly getting flowers from my husband while he's gone that say "Because it's Tuesday" on them would be super cheesy, but you can bet I would still run and show all my friends how sweet my husband is Even if you can email him, getting a letter will be nice to him, I'm sure. I wrote letters every day until my husband's email was up during his first deployment. The second deployment email was already set up by the time he wasn't able to use his phone to call from the shore.

    I haven't really seen too many deployments that internet wasn't available, so I would count on being able to write to him fairly often through email at the very least.

    be cool.
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    #7
    Thank you everyone for your input.

    He does have access to fleet wifi but it can only be text. No skype or videos or photos from home

    I really like the idea of the themed care packages and hand written letters. I don't know how to re create our dates in a care package because they are usually food focused so I'm not sure how to post sushi and sake or all you can eat BBQ... lol

    Hearing from you has made me feel much more positive. We can do this
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    #8
    You should also write him a letter before he leaves. Pour everything into it so he knows how connected you are. I would even suggest he do the same for you.

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