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Thread: Husband in Korea

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    #1

    Hello Husband in Korea

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    my husband is in korea at camp jackson. i miss him so friggin much. we have a 10-month-old baby girl together. i hate being a married single mom and heartbroken at the same time. it would be awesome to know there's someone who shares my agony.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by marriedsinglemom View Post
    my husband is in korea at camp jackson. i miss him so friggin much. we have a 10-month-old baby girl together. i hate being a married single mom and heartbroken at the same time. it would be awesome to know there's someone who shares my agony.
    I totally understand how hard it is, my husband just got back from Korea and I had a baby while he was gone. But you are not a single mom. You are parenting alone right now, but you still have someone helping make decisions, giving emotional support and providing for you financially.

    Try to get out of the house, get involved with some mommy groups, the year will be over before you know it!
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by kwickham View Post
    I totally understand how hard it is, my husband just got back from Korea and I had a baby while he was gone. But you are not a single mom. You are parenting alone right now, but you still have someone helping make decisions, giving emotional support and providing for you financially.

    Try to get out of the house, get involved with some mommy groups, the year will be over before you know it!
    Agree! Honestly, having been a single mom, the user name you chose is rather offensive to me. I know that physically you are the only parent present but trust me, it is NOTHING like being a single mom. And go visit him in Korea. Korea is frigging awesome.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Sally View Post
    Agree! Honestly, having been a single mom, the user name you chose is rather offensive to me. I know that physically you are the only parent present but trust me, it is NOTHING like being a single mom. And go visit him in Korea. Korea is frigging awesome.
    - and, frankly, I think it is incredibly insulting and hurtful to one's spouse to make such an assertion. I was a single parent for four years, and I lived separately from DH four three years with our two kids - the two periods in my life could not have been different.

    This may be the first separation, but it is unlikely to be the last - so I hope that you can find a way to move through this challenge and come out the other side with some new found tools in your coping box and having found a strength in yourself and, most importantly, in your relationship with your husband.
    How long has he been gone?
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Sally View Post
    Agree! Honestly, having been a single mom, the user name you chose is rather offensive to me. I know that physically you are the only parent present but trust me, it is NOTHING like being a single mom. And go visit him in Korea. Korea is frigging awesome.
    All of this.

    Get your passports and go.
    I'm not Lynn, but we ARE MSOS Best Friends and MSOS Twins.
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    #6
    Start planning stuff to do on weekends, maybe even plan to go to Korea to see the hubby!

    You're not alone, even though he's currently in Korea there are ways to continue having him present in the child's life especially with the technology we have today.

    Sending pictures of your outing and adventures can not only keep you occupied but also keeps him involved and present as well. This is just an example.

    Welcome to Msos btw! Don't forget to introduce yourself if you havent.
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    #7
    You have a partner to talk to. You have your child's father with whom you can discuss issues with your child, and issues with yourself. You have the knowledge that you are in a loving marriage. You are not a single mom. What you are doing is difficult, but you aren't a single mom.

    That mentality only allows you to feel even more sorry for yourself, and it creates a bigger emotional separation between you and your husband. That can be dangerously detrimental to your relationship. So work on getting over that sentiment now--you are not a single mom.

    It's fine to be sad and frustrated and overwhelmed and lonely. What you are doing is difficult. But don't make it isn't something it isn't.

    Good luck to you as you move forward and find better ways to cope.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #8
    holy crapstick people. i guess no one has ever heard that term before. it does not mean the same thing as a single mom, nor was it ever intended to be. it merely means i am doing 100% of manning the fort and the raising of the kids bit right now. It is not an insult to my husband. he knows and understands how hard it has been for me without him and respects me for doing the best i can. and he understands what the term "married single mom" means, and that it in no way implies that i am a single mom. hence, the word, "married". meaning my teammate, spouse, best friend, other parent in the mix, is involuntarily not present at the moment. and no, i dnt exactly have him for emotional support or parenting because by the time i get to talk to him, i have already figured out whatever it was and made it happen. as far as emotions, i cant be breaking down in front of him when we do get to talk because i don't want him to feel bad or make it harder on him. so here i am, looking to reach out to other moms in the same situation. btw, i have nothing but respect for single moms, they are total awesome sauce, hands-down. if u were offended, sry u feel that way but it's a different term with an entirely different meaning.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by marriedsinglemom View Post
    holy crapstick people. i guess no one has ever heard that term before. it does not mean the same thing as a single mom, nor was it ever intended to be. it merely means i am doing 100% of manning the fort and the raising of the kids bit right now. It is not an insult to my husband. he knows and understands how hard it has been for me without him and respects me for doing the best i can. and he understands what the term "married single mom" means, and that it in no way implies that i am a single mom. hence, the word, "married". meaning my teammate, spouse, best friend, other parent in the mix, is involuntarily not present at the moment. and no, i dnt exactly have him for emotional support or parenting because by the time i get to talk to him, i have already figured out whatever it was and made it happen. as far as emotions, i cant be breaking down in front of him when we do get to talk because i don't want him to feel bad or make it harder on him. so here i am, looking to reach out to other moms in the same situation. btw, i have nothing but respect for single moms, they are total awesome sauce, hands-down. if u were offended, sry u feel that way but it's a different term with an entirely different meaning.
    Rather than taking the defensive approach, you might try reading the responses you got as 'people' did understand what you meant, and offered their differing opinions on the term with their reasons for that differing opinion. Perhaps when you aren't feeling quite so reactionary you can open yourself to that feedback.
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    #10
    Are you new to military spouse life? IMO, holding back, not sharing your trial, not "breaking down", etc. is not healthy. You need support just as much as he does. How would you feel if you found out your husband was not sharing what was going on in his life, and what he was struggling with, because he didn't want to make you feel bad or make your life harder? Being honest, even when the truth isn't the most attractive thing, is important to keeping your connection and keeping each other apprised of what is happening in your worlds.

    For me, the key is how I frame it. I let him know when something bad happens, or when I'm struggling, but I also make sure to tell him I have a plan for fixing it, to reassure him that I'm okay, and to be positive, while still sharing and keeping him an active part of my life.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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