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Thread: LDR Experiences

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #1

    LDR Experiences

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    Looking to hear from anyone who has experience with a LDR

    How long were you LD before coming together, if at all?
    How long did you go between visits?
    What helped to keep the relationship strong through distance and time?
  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    DH and I were LD for just under 2 years while dating. Then 2.5 years after getting married we were long distance again for 7 months. We visited 3 times during the first time frame and twice over the 2nd. For us, we both enjoyed video games so we played a lot of Xbox Live together and could play with our friends as well. It helped us to build up relationships with each others social circlea as well which I think was really great as we now have many of the same friends. Honestly, doing something we both enjoyed together was really helpful. We also would watch TV shows or movies "together".

    Sometimes, we would find "questions for couples" online or something and go through those. During the 7 month one he was in Germany and I was in the states. We were both working so we only got to talk on the weekends due to the time difference. I would say it is really important to go out and do your own things. Make sure you are living your separate life as well, it will make you so much happier and then you will have different things to talk about as well!!
    ~Sara~
  3. I miss Target & Trader Joe's, open roads & the smell of home
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    #3
    DH and I were LD for most of our pre-marriage relationship. We were kind of friends for a few months before I moved out of state. We started dating around the time I moved.

    We were LD for almost 2.5 years from the start of our relationship until marriage. We lived about 6-7 hours apart and saw each other every other weekend for a little over a year (except when he was training and it would be a little longer). Then he deployed for 7 months. Once he got back, we drove to see each other pretty much every weekend until we got married and a couple months later I moved up

    We drove back to my hometown last weekend and it was so long and miserable. I don't know HOW we made that drive so often!

    We made sure to call each other every night, even if we were tired and it was a short call. That helped a lot.
  4. aka Milfon2Wheelz
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    #4
    Where is Vino, she's like the QUEEN of LDR's and can offer a lot of advice.
  5. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Sara View Post
    DH and I were LD for just under 2 years while dating. Then 2.5 years after getting married we were long distance again for 7 months. We visited 3 times during the first time frame and twice over the 2nd. For us, we both enjoyed video games so we played a lot of Xbox Live together and could play with our friends as well. It helped us to build up relationships with each others social circlea as well which I think was really great as we now have many of the same friends. Honestly, doing something we both enjoyed together was really helpful. We also would watch TV shows or movies "together".

    Sometimes, we would find "questions for couples" online or something and go through those. During the 7 month one he was in Germany and I was in the states. We were both working so we only got to talk on the weekends due to the time difference. I would say it is really important to go out and do your own things. Make sure you are living your separate life as well, it will make you so much happier and then you will have different things to talk about as well!!

    I love that you had video games in common! That sounds like a good way to stay connected and fun too! Too bad I have absolutely no video game skills! haha Thanks for sharing!


    Quote Originally Posted by be: pistachio View Post
    DH and I were LD for most of our pre-marriage relationship. We were kind of friends for a few months before I moved out of state. We started dating around the time I moved.

    We were LD for almost 2.5 years from the start of our relationship until marriage. We lived about 6-7 hours apart and saw each other every other weekend for a little over a year (except when he was training and it would be a little longer). Then he deployed for 7 months. Once he got back, we drove to see each other pretty much every weekend until we got married and a couple months later I moved up

    We drove back to my hometown last weekend and it was so long and miserable. I don't know HOW we made that drive so often!

    We made sure to call each other every night, even if we were tired and it was a short call. That helped a lot.
    Thanks for sharing! 2.5 years is probably the longest I could manage, and yes that drive seems miserable! My LDR consists of 3000 miles and 14 hours, LOL, I mean, I have to laugh to keep from crying
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by BraveLilToaster View Post
    Where is Vino, she's like the QUEEN of LDR's and can offer a lot of advice.
    And I do need all the advice I can get! LDRs seem like the most miserable thing to me, of course my alternative is a nightmare as well, argh
  7. I miss Target & Trader Joe's, open roads & the smell of home
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by CourtLove View Post
    I love that you had video games in common! That sounds like a good way to stay connected and fun too! Too bad I have absolutely no video game skills! haha Thanks for sharing!




    Thanks for sharing! 2.5 years is probably the longest I could manage, and yes that drive seems miserable! My LDR consists of 3000 miles and 14 hours, LOL, I mean, I have to laugh to keep from crying
    oOhhhhh that's right. Isn't your DB in Guam? Are you still planning on moving, or are you waiting now?
  8. In vino veritas
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    #8
    MF and I were LD 9 years. We spent the first year of our relationship together, and the next 9 anywhere between 3, 4, 5 and 13 hour drives and then 13 hours by plane, away from each other. We would go anywhere from 6 weeks to 5 months without a visit, and then a 9 month separation for deployment. I am at work so I cant type too much before my next appointment, but the best advice I can give is do not look at the big picture. Thinking about a 2 year LD seems terrible, but if you break that up- 3 weeks till I run that 5k! 2 weeks until I see the man! 2 months until summer vacation! Time goes by much faster. Don't wallow around on phone/skype being like 'I miss you' 'I miss you more' 'This is terrible' 'When can I see you' because that makes you both acutely aware of the sucky situation. Do better things like talk about your day, your plans for the weekend, what plans you wanna make next time you visit etc...And go out and have your own life, and let him have his. Goes out with friends; dont wait by teh phone for him to call. Your friends are going out on a saturday night? Go! And you dont need to talk to him that night- its ok, he will be there the next night, just like if you werent LD you may not talk every night- make not always talking a habit. Sometimes too much communication can harm the relationship because a) if makes your SO feel like you only have him, and that can be a lot of pressure, stressful, and honestly, who wants to be with someone who only lives for you? and b) if you run out of shit to talk about, that sucks.

    Can it be done? Yes. Is it right for everyone? No. If it doesnt work, does it mean you are less in love than me and my MF? No. LD sucks, it isnt for everyone, but its managable, and you can make the best of it and make the best of yourself while you chug through it.
  9. Senior Member
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.VinoVet View Post
    MF and I were LD 9 years. We spent the first year of our relationship together, and the next 9 anywhere between 3, 4, 5 and 13 hour drives and then 13 hours by plane, away from each other. We would go anywhere from 6 weeks to 5 months without a visit, and then a 9 month separation for deployment. I am at work so I cant type too much before my next appointment, but the best advice I can give is do not look at the big picture. Thinking about a 2 year LD seems terrible, but if you break that up- 3 weeks till I run that 5k! 2 weeks until I see the man! 2 months until summer vacation! Time goes by much faster. Don't wallow around on phone/skype being like 'I miss you' 'I miss you more' 'This is terrible' 'When can I see you' because that makes you both acutely aware of the sucky situation. Do better things like talk about your day, your plans for the weekend, what plans you wanna make next time you visit etc...And go out and have your own life, and let him have his. Goes out with friends; dont wait by teh phone for him to call. Your friends are going out on a saturday night? Go! And you dont need to talk to him that night- its ok, he will be there the next night, just like if you werent LD you may not talk every night- make not always talking a habit. Sometimes too much communication can harm the relationship because a) if makes your SO feel like you only have him, and that can be a lot of pressure, stressful, and honestly, who wants to be with someone who only lives for you? and b) if you run out of shit to talk about, that sucks.

    Can it be done? Yes. Is it right for everyone? No. If it doesnt work, does it mean you are less in love than me and my MF? No. LD sucks, it isnt for everyone, but its managable, and you can make the best of it and make the best of yourself while you chug through it.
    This!

    I'm still super impressed by your 9 years though.
    If you're too proud to follow rivers, how are you ever gonna find the sea?
  10. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by be: pistachio View Post
    oOhhhhh that's right. Isn't your DB in Guam? Are you still planning on moving, or are you waiting now?
    I honestly don't know what I am doing yet, weighing the options but like, Guam, really, Guam . lol, I just don't know how well I will do with long distance.
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