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Thread: how to let my SO know i feel a bit neglected?

  1. Senior Member
    yvonne13marie's Avatar
    yvonne13marie is offline
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    #1

    how to let my SO know i feel a bit neglected?

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    im not sure if im posting in the right place.

    My SO left three weeks ago for a month long training. This is the second time we have done one of these so i was a little more prepared this time around. this time he is in a more of a class room setting than in a combat training setting. He has been pretty good about texting every weekend so far. He does tell me that he is overwhelmed with the learning portion and feels a little frustrated his add is stopping him from grasping everything he has to. Lately though I feel like i dont matter as much or like im not really feeling the love. I know he cares cuz he says so but right now i feel a little like words are cheap. Hes coming home in 11 days. I want to be able to express that sometime i just want a text where he can at least show me he thinks of me or cares about whats going on with me. Maybe im being emotional cuz its that time of the month, or because i've had the house to myself no family around at all, or cuz ive been sick and the week before was terrible already. But im not good with words at all I either blabber on or never really say what i want to say in fear that i will make him or who ever feel bad or get them upset.
    What do i want:
    -To know i matter
    -get a text once or twice during the week letting me know im at least thought of
    -and be able to let him know i feel a little lonely and neglected with out making him feel bad

    Im not sure how to say all this with out sounding demanding or like im asking for too much.i know hes busy as am i thankfully or else im sure i would think more about this stuff. hope to hear your thoughts and a second opinion other than my own.
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    #2
    Honestly, he's told you he's overwhelmed and frustrated. He'll be home soon, I would wait to bring this up until you can do so in person.

    I'm almost always the one saying just because he's gone/working/whatever doesn't mean he gets a pass to check out, but in this case I really don't think it's worth bringing up. I definitely think your feelings are valid and I think you should absolutely have a discussion about expectations for the future, but at this point it kind of seems like too little too late and considering he's already told you he's having a rough time, I wouldn't add this onto his plate.
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    #3
    I agree with Heisenberg. He has one week left, and he's told you he's struggling. Unless there is more to it, I think this is a time to be supportive by stepping back and understanding that right now is one of those points in the relationship when your DB takes a little more than he gives.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    I agree with Heisenberg. He has one week left, and he's told you he's struggling. Unless there is more to it, I think this is a time to be supportive by stepping back and understanding that right now is one of those points in the relationship when your DB takes a little more than he gives.
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    Reagan's Avatar
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    #5
    Yeah agree with the above. Text him every now and then to tell him you love him and are thinking of him, but not daily and don't get into any big talk about feeling neglected. He's busy training.

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