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Thread: Very Confused

  1. Fresh Newbie
    Lovely55's Avatar
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    #1

    Confused Very Confused

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    So my boyfriend and I are LD at the moment and we just found out that he is being deployed a few days ago but for the past two weeks or so he has been acting very stand-offish. I know how he gets when he's stressed out and depressed. But I feel like he is trying to push me away or something. He says he isn't mad at me or anything, he just doesn't want to talk to anyone. I don't know what to do. Do I just leave him alone and give him his space...Do I still try anyways.. I am just afraid he isn't going to snap out of this and he's gonna deploy not wanting to see or talk to me before he leaves. :/ I feel so helpless right now..
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Lovely55 View Post
    So my boyfriend and I are LD at the moment and we just found out that he is being deployed a few days ago but for the past two weeks or so he has been acting very stand-offish. I know how he gets when he's stressed out and depressed. But I feel like he is trying to push me away or something. He says he isn't mad at me or anything, he just doesn't want to talk to anyone. I don't know what to do. Do I just leave him alone and give him his space...Do I still try anyways.. I am just afraid he isn't going to snap out of this and he's gonna deploy not wanting to see or talk to me before he leaves. :/ I feel so helpless right now..
    So, he was acting this way before the news of the deployment, correct? Have you got days, weeks or longer before he leaves (asking in generalities - don't be too specific about when he's going, please)? How long have you been together and how long have you been LD?
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    #3
    This is going to depend on your relationship. (I'm a bit confused about whether his behavior started before the deployment news but after he got a date, or before all of it.)

    For me, I'd tolerate a certain amount of standoffishness, for a certain time. But in the end, what he has going on is no excuse for him to treat me unfairly or to check out of the relationship or stop meeting my needs. So I'd let him know just that--that I love and support him and know he's going through something and I want to support him in whatever ways he needs, but that I also have things that I need, and I need him to start doing his part in the relationship again.

    I'd tell him I love him and support him and plan to be with him throughout the relationship, so that he had those reassurances , but also let him know what I need.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski

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