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Thread: Moving to DB?

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    #1

    Moving to DB?

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    So I've been dating DB long distance for a year now. He's currently at boot camp for navy and then he's going to school. We decided once he gets his first duty station we'd discuss me moving to him. I was wondering if anyone has ever moved to be with a DB? It's a huge decision, I know. He's more worried than I am. I just want to hear others stories.
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    #2
    Do you have a job lined up? He may not be able to live off base for a few years; so, are you prepared to pay for an apartment and everything alone.

    I personally wouldn't move unless there was an engagement and a wedding planned.
    "Obstinacy is a fault of temperament. Stubbornness and Intolerance of contradiction result from a special kind of Egotism, which elevates above everything else the pleasure of its own autonomous intellect, to which others must bow.: Carl von Clausewitz
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    #3
    Well we haven't planned anything. We don't even know his first duty station yet. If it's close enough to me now I wouldn't mind just commuting to see him. But if we decided for me to move I would line up a job and place before I went, and I would take care of all of the bills alone.
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    #4
    Depending on his rank he may not be able to live off base and will have to stay in the barracks. Will you be ok with that? It depends on the branch and sometimes even down to the commands.
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    #5
    Yes, I mean any of those would be factors in my decision. And we'd get all of the details before a decision was actually made. Obviously the end goal would be to get engaged and married. We've just been long distance for the majority of our relationship, I want to live in the same town as him to see how that works. I love him, and if he asked me, I'd say yes to a proposal today. But I just want to give this the best chance.
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    #6
    I moved to be closer to my DB, but I had a job lined up and also moved to the area to attend graduate school. If you have reasons more than your DB, I say go for it. Having him near is just a perk for me. Plus, what happens when he deploys and you're alone in a city/state and you don't know anyone, have a job, etc.?
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    #7
    Like others have said, I wouldn't move unless there was more than just your DB there. I know we all like to think the best for our relationships, but there needs to be more, like a job/career, college with your intended program and degree (if you plan to attend school).
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    #8
    I moved to be with a then-DB. But, like KittenMittens, I had other stuff going for me. I had applied for graduate school, DH was in a competitive commissioning program so he was attending school and living off campus, and his BAH covered all our utilities. I just had to worry about health insurance and my cell phone until I got a job until grad school started. We were also a bit older (he was 27, I was 26) so we were both more established in our careers.
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    #9
    I did. He wasn't in the military at the time. We knew we were going to get married (never had a formal engagement). I don't know if I would say it was smart but I don't regret. The plan was for him to work and me to eventually enroll in school, but that didn't ever happen. Within a week of me being there he left his job and started trying to get back into the military. We'd only known each other three months, and I guess I should have been more concerned about quitting my job and moving 2000 miles, but I really wasn't. He gave me access to his bank account pretty much immediately and I always knew I could go home if it didn't work out (I didn't move my furniture and car until later, just because of how things worked out so it would have been pretty simple for me to get back home). I moved in with him though, I can't tell from your post if you're wanting to live together or separately but in the same city type thing, in which case I'd for sure have a job lined up.
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    #10
    I wouldnt go without a job and a life lined up. I would probably be living alone, because I don't think he can live off base. And I would be okay with that. I don't know why I made this post, it's all hypothetical right now. Because we don't know where he'll be going after school, and that does play a huge part in this. Along with whether he can move off base and things like that. I just wanted to hear how some people did it, I guess.
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