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Thread: Tips on Coping With Lack of Communication?

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    #1

    Confused Tips on Coping With Lack of Communication?

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    I am wondering if anyone can offer tips on how to deal with times where there isn't a lot of communication.

    I know that there are times when he can't communicate or when communication may suddenly stop. Waiting to hear from him is tough, though. How do you get through it (and with a positive attitude)?
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    #2
    My life has always been busy enough that it is pretty easy to pass the time when that would happen. Specifics of what would be good for you to do would depend on what you like to do.
    For times like that when you still want to "talk" to them, journaling can be helpful because you can write what you want to say to them, get it out of your head and still feel connected to them.
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    #3
    My DH is at basic right now so communication with him is VERY limited. I write to him every night and keep him updated on what is going on at home. I thought it would be tiresome writing him every night, especially when topics run low, but I have been enjoying it and trying to think of different things to write that will entertain him while he's away and disassociated from the world. For me, I feel like I am doing my part to support him so it's rewarding for me and makes me feel close to him.
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    #4
    My boyfriend has been in basic for over a month and I just recently started being able to get 15 minute phone calls once a week. But for the first 5 weeks, there was no contact except letters that came maybe once a week. For me, I work 40 hours a week so I keep busy. I also go to the gym and hangout with friends. When you get to communicate or hear from him, it really makes the wait worth it because you appreciate it so much more. Just keep busy, do things for you. Before you know it, you'll hear from him. Write him lots of letters. He'll love it, and really need the positive support from you.
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    #5
    I kept a journal with my ex, and have begun just keeping a running dating journal. It helps a lot with not spewing stuff at them in letters/emails and still feeling somewhat connected. I know some women eventually share their journals with their SOs but I never felt all that.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Navy_GF_ View Post
    I am wondering if anyone can offer tips on how to deal with times where there isn't a lot of communication.

    I know that there are times when he can't communicate or when communication may suddenly stop. Waiting to hear from him is tough, though. How do you get through it (and with a positive attitude)?
    Stay busy, ya know?

    Walk, draw, read, write, watch TV.

    Do what you like to do.

    Stay strong~
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    #7
    So, one of the thing that used to really frustrate me was that I would feel like there were ALWAYS things going on that made me think "I can't wait to tell DH about this!" and then as soon as we got to talk, they all completely slipped my mind. I started to keep a little notebook in my purse and I would jot down what I wanted to tell him, so I would have it when we got to talk.

    Also, trust is huge. It's really easy to start feeling resentful when the communication dies down, or start to wonder if they really want to talk to you or if they're really busy or just would rather do something else, etc. etc. I just had to really commit to the idea that "when he will talk to me, he can" and also "no news is good news." It's simple but it's not always easy ... but always worth it.
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    #8
    Lacks of comms is the worst! Just try to keep yourself busy. Hopefully, he volunteers why he was incommunicado so that you're not feeling worried or insecure about his lack of technological connection.
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    #9
    I would agree with the others keep a journal or write him letters. I myself am dealing with the same feelings and am just having to teach myself that this is what I signed up for when I decided to date a military man...however that doesn't make it any easier. I try to tell myself the lonely days and nights will all be worth it in the end when he is home. I send my fiance text messages throughout the day even when I know his phone is turned off and he can't get them. I just want him to know I'm thinking of him and that I love him. I long for those short five minute phone conversations I get with and try to make the most of them. I try to stay as busy as I can which having a four year old isn't hard to do!
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    #10
    I am a newbie to military life. My boyfriend is deployed and we use Facebook to communicate. There are times that I send him messages he doesn't respond but I can see that he read the message which let's me know he is ok. I thought I was wrong with the feeling of no news is good news. I am so glad I found this site.
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