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Thread: Advice Please

  1. Fresh Newbie
    ohmyjuneee's Avatar
    ohmyjuneee is offline
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    Jun 2014

    Advice Please

    Hey everyone!
    So I'm sort of stuck in a rut. I've been with my bf for almost 5 years but I live in CA and his base is at the south. I currently am 20 and am a full-time student and for my future I plan to work and live in CA. He recently left for his second deployment last week and I'm having a hard time deciding where this relationship is going. He is debating on re-enlisting and to be honest I can't imagine Skyping for another 4 years. I love him a lot but this whole process of not being with him for long periods of time makes me really sad and I don't see the end of the tunnel unless he chooses not to re-enlist. I don't think that I am willing to give up my life and move out there for him.

    I'm not exactly sure what to do. He is my first everything and he is literally my best friend and the love of my life. In my heart I know he is my soul mate and he's the one for me but every time hes not home which is pretty much all the time, I'm bummed out about the whole situation. I'm not sure if I should stick it out for four years or just put it at rest. I personally live our relationship day by day which is has made me stick it through but when I think long term it sort of freaks me out to think that I have to continue being away for him for another 4 years. I haven't seen him on a regular basis since 4 years ago and I don't want my youth to slip away either.

    Its hard to talk about this with my friends because they're all college girls who aren't in a LDR or in a serious relationship which makes this whole situation so much harder since they don't understand. If anyone can please give me their experience or advice that would be great. (:

    Thanks in advanced for the help!
  2. Regular Member
    Armygirl19's Avatar
    Armygirl19 is offline
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    May 2014
    The only one who can truly decide what to do is you, because only you know what you're feeling. If neither one of you is willing to sacrifice for the other one, then maybe right now isn't the best time to be together. Achieving what you want is very important, but if it's making your relationship hard, you need to say goodbye to each other. And maybe not forever, just for now until later on in life after you have both achieved what you want independently. If you think you can stick it out for the 4 years, then do it. If you really think he's the one, don't let him go. I know my boyfriend is the one and I'll wait for the next 100 years if I have to. But sometimes our own personal goals get in the way of our relationship. You just really have to ask yourself how much this man means to you, and if it's worth it to stick it out, and by the sound of it, you really love him. You should talk to him about how you're feeling. Long distance is hard, but not impossible by any means. Good luck.
  3. Senior Member
    Alilyoyo1's Avatar
    Alilyoyo1 is offline
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    Jan 2014
    There is nobody saying you have to give up your dreams. The way I see it, you have the opportunity to focus on you AND have your true love. The only thing I think you're giving up is dating other men. If you want to date, if that's what you mean by giving up your youth then there's your answer. If you mean giving up your youth because you don't go out and have fun, you should. Going out doesn't mean you have to hook up or find a man. Accomplish your dreams, get your degree, live in CA.

    I agree with ^^^ though. You have to make the final decision but I couldn't imagine walking away even knowing DB has told me he is in this for 12 more years. What's that in the scope of my life with my love? I'll grow my business and do what I do. That's part of why he loves me.

    Good luck! I hope whatever you decide you're happy.
  4. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
    TrishAFSpouse's Avatar
    TrishAFSpouse is offline
    "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
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    Jan 2011
    If you are unwilling to move out of CA, then you either have to end it now, or forever have a relationship in which you are apart.
    So long as he is in the military he will be moving a lot and perhaps deploying often.

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't

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