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Thread: Moving advice!

  1. Old Newbie
    Jene102's Avatar
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    #1

    Moving advice!

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    Hi all, I have been with my DB for 2.5 years long distance and it has been hard! He FINALLY decided he was ready for me to move with him (he is stationed in Colorado) I am from NY. While I am excited to finally move and be with him, he just deployed 3 months ago and I don't know when he will be back. I want to move there this summer, before he gets home and get settled but he is not even there. I'm getting nervous now to make the move, and also hope I won't be lonely since I don't know when he will be back. I already have been in touch with a couple wives there ( I am a GF) and they have been super friendly so I know I won't be completely lonely. I currently live at home with my family and do not like my job here, so I do really want to move. But I just hope I'm making the right decision and not moving too soon and leaving my family. Also, we are not engaged though I hope we will be one day. Any advice?!
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    #2
    I don't know what field you are in but if possible I would try to job search from NY and let that guide when you move. If you move before you have a job will you have the means to support yourself and if so for how long?
    ~Sara~
  3. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #3
    Have you talked about your future plans with him (wanting to be engaged, etc)? I would at least want to be on the same page in that department before I moved for another person, at the very least. Personally I would want a bigger commitment but if he doesn't see engagement in the future and you do, that's pretty much a non-starter.

    I also agree with Sara that I would want to have employment set up before I moved. I'm a big planner for worst case scenarios, it would be awful if you found yourself in a strange place with no means of support. Ideally I would want to set myself up to avoid a situation where things like a place to live and money to live on were dependent on my relationship. Plus, getting a job and a life of your own will help avoid loneliness while you're getting everything set up.

    If you don't have it saved up already, I would save up an emergency fund of at least 3 months expenses + travel to get back home just in case.
  4. Old Newbie
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    #4
    Thanks all. I have a couple months money to live on, so I hope that would pull me through. My bf also said he would send me money if I needed it, though I would hate to depend on him. I have already been applying for jobs and a couple places told me to just call them when I get there, so I am trying. My boyfriend already bought a house there and already gave me the key and had started setting it up for us both to live in it. It's kind of hard to talk about engagement while he is deployed, but I guess living together is the next step for us in the relationship. I hope the deployment and the move will only make us stronger and that it will all be worth it in the end. We had talked about getting married "one day" but I know he isn't ready yet and I don't want to pressure him...sighh

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