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Thread: How do you handle your LDR?

  1. Regular Member
    nicole0711's Avatar
    nicole0711 is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013

    How do you handle your LDR?

    So I haven't posted for a while DB and I split for a bit. Here's a short synopsis of what has happened: DB was forced crossed trained and had to PCS to FL (i'm in UT) after being together for 8 mos. We did the LDR thing for 4 more mos but never really had a plan of what we would do. On his last visit he said with his new career he wasn't sure what would happen in the future and he didn't want to tie me down. We stayed good friends. After being away for a while, he revaluated everything. He has decided to finish his contract out and separate from the AF (he's considering the reserves). He's been in for 11 years but said his career isn't worth being miserable for (he hates his base and new career field). He's got 20 mos left and then he's coming back to UT. He's reassured me he's not getting out just for me, but that leaving me was the biggest mistake he's ever made. He asked me if I'd wait for him and I said yes, of course. The next day there was a huge bouquet of flowers waiting for me. This is the 1st time that we've ever been able to make plans for the future and it's exciting. But on the other hand 20 mos is a long time, longer than we've been together. I think we can make it and we've talked about how to get threw the distance, we promised to see each other every 4 mos at least. I would love to connect with someone else that's in an LDR. I feel like I just need someone to talk to that understands. My family and friends are great but none of them have been threw anything like this (and then there's the people that tell you LDRs never make it) I'm just hoping to find someone to talk to. Or if anyone has any advice or words of encouragement that would be great. Thanks.
  2. Team Rocket
    rocket_lizz's Avatar
    rocket_lizz is offline
    Team Rocket
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    Mar 2012
    San Diego!!!
    LDRs definitely can work. DH and I were LDR for 2 years from the moment we started dating to the day I moved in with him permanently. If you talk about expectations regarding communication and visits, it can really work. We were apart because I was in grad school and didn't want to attempt a transfer. For us, something that helped was knowing that we had goals to live together/get married, etc. Also, I was able to find an internship in DH's city both summers, so we at least got some time together. I don't know if that would be an option for you. If your DB is sure he wants to get out and move back to where you are, I'd recommend that he start networking now for jobs. 20 months does seem like a long time but if he wants to live somewhere specific, it can take a long time to find something. However, you guys may want to discuss other options too, such as what if he decides he does want to reenlist after all?
    WiggleWiggle~ is my Wifey

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