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Thread: One Week Left...

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    #1

    Sad One Week Left...

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    DB leaves one week from today and I feel like he's getting to be more distant. Over the past 2 months, he's dealt with a lot of stress, more than he says he ever has between work and life (not having to do with me). It all started 2 months after we started seeing each other. I've been patient, understanding, etc. but I feel like he's starting to really put distance between us before he leaves. He is taking leave to go home for two months, before he reports to his next duty station/school in July. It seems that the moving process is a lot for him, but he won't let me help, he doesn't respond to texts like he used to, but he wants me to visit when he gets to Kansas in July. I even offered to drive with him when he leaves here, but he said no, he's used to driving alone. Trying to get him to open up and talk results in, "girls over think" when I ask him something. He was much more talkative and engaged before the stress set in. Has anyone else encountered anything like this?
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    #2
    This is exactly how my DB was like this a few months before he left for training. I think he's just stressed out. According to my DB, he was just thinking about the Navy 24/7, constantly stressed, worried about his move away from me, bills, lease, etc. He's probably the one over thinking the next few months so that could be the reason why he seems distant. I was also worried when DB was being distant towards me, but when I reached out to a few friends who have more experience with the military life, they tell me this is normal.

    So I wouldn't worry to much about it
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by bge514 View Post
    This is exactly how my DB was like this a few months before he lef for training. I think he's just stressed out. According to my DB, he was just thinking about the Navy 24/7, constantly stressed, worried about his move away from me, bills, lease, etc. He's probably the one over thinking the next few months so that could be the reason why he seems distant. I was also worried when DB was being distant towards me, but when I reached out to a few friends who have more experience with the military life, they tell me this is normal.

    So I wouldn't worry to much about it
    I'm trying not to, but it's hard! This is not his first rodeo, LOL, so you would think he would have it down pat. I promised myself I wouldn't take it personally and see how it goes after he leaves, the first visit I make out there in August, etc. Thanks!
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by rungirl View Post
    I'm trying not to, but it's hard! This is not his first rodeo, LOL, so you would think he would have it down pat. I promised myself I wouldn't take it personally and see how it goes after he leaves, the first visit I make out there in August, etc. Thanks!
    No problem!
    It really is hard not to think about it, but every time seems like he's being distant, just tell yourself he's leaving and put yourself in his shoes. It helps a lot! I feel like even if it's not the first time he's dealt with a move, it's still stressful each time. My DB remained distant until the day he left. A week later he was the same, sweet guy I fell in love with again . So just tryyyyy to be patient with him.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bge514 View Post
    No problem!
    It really is hard not to think about it, but every time seems like he's being distant, just tell yourself he's leaving and put yourself in his shoes. It helps a lot! I feel like even if it's not the first time he's dealt with a move, it's still stressful each time. My DB remained distant until the day he left. A week later he was the same, sweet guy I fell in love with again . So just tryyyyy to be patient with him.
    I'm being patient, and that says a lot! In the past, I would have gotten frustrated and thrown in the towel, but not this time. Even though we've only been together 4.5 months and his orders changed so he's leaving a year early....it's hard. I've offered to help with anything I can, cook (which he loves and I love doing), etc. Deep down, I'm hoping the break before ILE is good and he recharges, distance makes the heart grow fonder and less stressed, right?
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    Quote Originally Posted by rungirl View Post
    I'm being patient, and that says a lot! In the past, I would have gotten frustrated and thrown in the towel, but not this time. Even though we've only been together 4.5 months and his orders changed so he's leaving a year early....it's hard. I've offered to help with anything I can, cook (which he loves and I love doing), etc. Deep down, I'm hoping the break before ILE is good and he recharges, distance makes the heart grow fonder and less stressed, right?
    I believe in that saying 150%! After DB left, not only was he the same man I fell for again, but he's better! He's so much more grateful, loving, and appreciative. He realized that and apologized for acting so distant before he left.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bge514 View Post
    I believe in that saying 150%! After DB left, not only was he the same man I fell for again, but he's better! He's so much more grateful, loving, and appreciative. He realized that and apologized for acting so distant before he left.
    I've had some people say this is just how he will always be, because he is so engrained in the military life and got used to being non emotional. He was better when we first met, so I'm praying and hoping he goes back to that.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by rungirl View Post
    I've had some people say this is just how he will always be, because he is so engrained in the military life and got used to being non emotional. He was better when we first met, so I'm praying and hoping he goes back to that.
    I've hear that different branches change people because of what they experience and learn. But usually they change for the better. I would say they're "non-emotional" when it's near the time they have to leave.
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    My former partner got that way before a deployment. Things eventually got better in that area after the deployment occurred, but there was still days when things got quiet, depending on what was going on over there at the time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by sldanlm View Post
    My former partner got that way before a deployment. Things eventually got better in that area after the deployment occurred, but there was still days when things got quiet, depending on what was going on over there at the time.
    He's not deploying, he is going to ILE for about a year after his leave. Learning about someone is one thing, but having to navigate how they deal with stress on top of it, in a short amount of time makes me contemplate myself and if I'm a good partner or not. I know I am, but I'm at a loss when he won't let me help, pushes me away and I don't want to be overbearing.
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