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Thread: He feels imaginary right now

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    #1

    He feels imaginary right now

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    I'm at the point where I feel like DH is imaginary. We haven't been able to Skype in about 3 weeks because his data ran out and the mobile data company won't let him top up with a New Zealand credit card, but he doesn't have an Australian one. He's home in 5 weeks so rather than make a big deal about it trying to get it to work, we decided to just stop skyping. We can still use Viber to text when he's in the classroom so he sends me a couple of messages each day and an email if he has the time.

    I don't mind all that. It's still far better communication than when he was deployed! It does make it feel like he doesn't really exist though because I'm only ever reading his words, not hearing his voice. It's a funny feeling. I don't find it distressing, more amusing than anything else.

    Do you guys ever feel that way? Like your SO is more like an imaginary friend than a real one?
  2. Pour a little salt, we were never here
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    #2
    When my DH was deployed for 7 months, we talked on the phone a lot but only skyped once about half way through and it was SO weird. I had gotten so used to him just being a voice. Seeing him move and stuff was ....I don't even know how to describe it. So I didn't feel like he was imaginary leading up to it but when we were skyping I was thinking "Oh my god, he's a real person!" I can't even describe the feeling, it was just odd.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by [his] lobster View Post
    When my DH was deployed for 7 months, we talked on the phone a lot but only skyped once about half way through and it was SO weird. I had gotten so used to him just being a voice. Seeing him move and stuff was ....I don't even know how to describe it. So I didn't feel like he was imaginary leading up to it but when we were skyping I was thinking "Oh my god, he's a real person!" I can't even describe the feeling, it was just odd.
    I felt the exact same way with my ex. We spoke daily but Skype didn't work but maybe twice the whole deployment and it was the weirdest feeling ever to see him at the same time as hearing him.
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    #4
    Sometimes.

    When I was dating my Army-ex, we were fortunate enough to have really good communication during his first deployment. I essentially got to talk to him every morning AND night, unless he was out on a mission - I got regular phone calls, emails, messenger chats, and we were able to video on Skype but the connection would often lag with that. The second deployment was a whole other story, and I was barely able to talk to him for the 9 months he was gone.... that was a bit crazy considering how "easy" things seemed to go with the first one. So he definitely seemed to fade from reality during then. It got so bad that I would try remembering what he sounded like and looked liked, so I'd always go through old video clips or pictures of us just to refresh the memory of him. When he finally came home after that tour, seeing him felt like a dream. It was kind of an odd experience/feeling to have, lol.

    My current DB is deployed now and it's our first deployment together. I was able to talk to him quite consistently for the beginning of it but as time went on, I haven't heard from him on a regular bases, so it's a bit disappointing. With him, we still have a new relationship (he's been gone for longer than we've been going out) so the whole situation seems a bit odd in that sense. I almost feel like he's more imaginary because the majority of our relationship has essentially been long-distance at this point. We were still getting to know each other when he left, so I feel like the idea I have of him now is kind of made up in a way - ?? (hard to explain). He should be home soon though so he'll be more real to me again in a few weeks!
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    #5
    I have never felt that way. Maybe because we've been in a LDR our whole time...so I'm used to him existing mostly in a phone
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    #6
    Yup, I feel that way sometimes.

    Especially when I am talking with friends and coworkers and I'm like, "Yeah, my husband this or that." And, I realize that none of these people have ever met him even though I've been at my job and in my current location for a little over a year. Sometimes, I want to say, "No, really, he does exist!"
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    #7
    I'm glad I'm not the only one!

    We have six cats so right now I feel like the crazy cat lady with the imaginary husband!
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Jadeey View Post
    I'm glad I'm not the only one!

    We have six cats so right now I feel like the crazy cat lady with the imaginary husband!
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    #9
    Can't you just skype for free? I don't know how it works in other countries but does he just not have internet at all?

    I personally have never felt that way. Even when DH did a year remote and we didn't have anything like skype and no more than 10-15 a month to talk without a ginormous phone bill.
  10. The Dude Abides
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    #10
    I definitely felt that way frequently, particularly since we were LDR for the previous deployments. It got to the point where I felt like he lived in my computer, if that makes any sense at all!
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