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Thread: Help me get through my first deployment

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    #1

    Help me get through my first deployment

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    I never thought I would fall for a military guy. There wasn't a huge presence in Seattle. But San Diego is a MUCH different ball game, and now i'm dating a marine who is leaving for a 7 month deployment very soon...and I don't know how i'm going to get through this in one piece.
    Last edited by Crystal; 04-25-2014 at 08:16 AM. Reason: OPSEC
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    #2
    First off remain positive, use the deployment as time to test your limits. Never easy but staying busy and remaining calm is everything. Know first off keep it simple. Try not to make things to heavy while he is deployed, makes them more stressed than they already will be. Also keep in mind, he will be back, no matter what the news says you have to remain as calm as possible. Now there will be times you dont talk just write down or email what you did that day, may sound dumb but hearing that your okay and love an miss them makes things feel a million times better. And since everyone is different just do what you feel is right. Its not easy and it can be difficult but importantly just be waiting. Nothing means more to that man in uniform than getting home to the place he defends.
  3. Ummmmm...........
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    You're in San Diego? Me too. My husband left in January for our second deployment. He'll be back in August. One of the best things for me, this deployment so far, has been having a full time job. Last deployment, I didn't work and I was absolutely miserable every day. I'm not saying those who don't work, will be miserable. But, that has made a huge difference for me between our last separation and the current one. If you don't or can't work; volunteer, find a time consuming hobby, work out, do something with your life.

    Also, it's important to not shut others out because "they don't understand". Some of my best support come from family and friends who know nothing about the military.

    The day I dropped DH off at the ship, I couldn't move, my world was rocked. I had to drive home and didn't know how I was going to do it. I called my mom and we talked on the phone while I sat in the parking lot, trying to calm down so I could drive. I made a comment about how I just don't want to miss my husband. What she said to me after that, has stuck with me this entire deployment so far and it's what I hold onto. She said "be thankful you have someone to miss." She's right. I'm so lucky to have someone to miss, someone I will miss, and have someone who will miss me just as much.

    ETA-and Netflix. Lots and lots of netflix.
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    #4
    Another little thing I do...I have a deployment journal. I write everything down in it. How I'm feeling, the weather, what DH and I talked about, milestones of mine and his, what I did that. It's just a simple word doc that I have my desktop. It's the only time I have kept a journal and I really like to go back and re-read what I have done and accomplished so far.
  5. "A simple hello could lead to a million things."
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Abbynormal View Post
    Another little thing I do...I have a deployment journal. I write everything down in it. How I'm feeling, the weather, what DH and I talked about, milestones of mine and his, what I did that. It's just a simple word doc that I have my desktop. It's the only time I have kept a journal and I really like to go back and re-read what I have done and accomplished so far.
    Not in San Diego but close to it! Love the idea of keeping a journal. DB and I got together not long before he left. I got a binder for his deployment. I put copies of letters I've sent him in it, care package ideas or ones I've sent, recipes, address, and just keep adding on through his deployment. You'll have good days and bad days. It's okay to cry. I broke down today when I was with a friend from the stress at home and missing him. But when it comes down to it I know he'll be back and every day that goes by is one day closer to seeing him again! Support helps even if they don't understand. Just having someone to listen and be there for you during this time helps a lot. The first couple weeks I revolved everything around him. Not really doing anything because I had no idea when he would call or message me. But best thing to do is live your life and stay strong and positive I leave my volume on when he calls so I never miss a call and send him little messages those days we weren't able to talk. I keep myself busy with working out, working, seeing my friends, making him themed packages so I can decorate them haha and like abby said netflix! Have it on right now :p You can message me if you need someone to talk to or just listen
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    #6


    I'm going through my first deployment right now. My husband left in March and he will be gone for a year. On top of the deployment I'm in a new area far away from my family and friends. It's been so hard, but I'm getting through it. Try to focus on the positives, like how each day that passes is another day closer to the end of the deployment. Don't think about how long he'll be gone for. That has been the hardest part for me. I'm learning to accept that there will be good days and there will be bad days. If you feel like crying, go ahead and cry. Just don't dwell on it.

    I also second the Netflix suggestion. I'm in the middle of rewatching the entire series of Everybody Loves Raymond right now.


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    #7
    This is my first one with DB and we got together not too long before he left too! We're lucky cus we can gchat/Facetime almost every day and he won't let me send packages cus he gets plenty of his own stuff where he is. However, the best thing for me is being busy. I work full time, I've been going to the gym more, walking my dog more, doing almost everything I can think of to avoid staring at the phone/computer hoping one will "light up!" Find something you love to do, and do that a lot. I agree with the other girls- focus on the positives. One thing that sounds silly but meant a lot to me is I know he HAS to make the effort to stay in contact with me/show me he loves me- and that takes all my wondering about us away. Just reframing potentially negative thoughts into positive ones helps a ton!
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    #8
    My guy hasn't been deployed yet so I can't help you there, but I'm in the same mental boat, chika. My dad was in the Navy but never talked about it, my mom was always pretty anti-military, and then i just knew what i had learned from textbooks...WWI vietnam etc. So when I ended up with my Naval officer, it was a surprise to everyone. But I don't think anyone can 100% be prepared for what a deployment entails. Keep family and friends close, Listen to the advice all these SOs can give you. From when my guy has gone on cruise, send him regular emails/letters to keep him updated on how you're doing and what you're doing, and he'll answer them when he can. He likes it because it shows I was thinking of him, he doesn't miss much info. Also, my advice for most stressful situations would recommend investing in a really nice stress releasing foaming bubble bath-- you know, If you're in to that kind of thing. Good luck!
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    #9
    thank you guys! all great suggestions. One day at a time. That's what I keep telling myself.

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