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Thread: Never ever listen to advice from your friends!!!!!

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    #1

    Never ever listen to advice from your friends!!!!!

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    Note to self: My man loves me no matter what ANYONE else says.

    A little background about me, I got married the first time very young. I was naive and my ex-husband realized that and took advantage of it every chance he got. When we got married my ex husband was one of my dad's soldiers. Just a side note my dad was a commander in the US Army when he retired two years ago at Fort Hood. During the course of my 8 year marriage I hid the fact that I was being mentally and verbally abused from everyone including my father. After my divorce two years ago I was too afraid to date anyone else for the fear of being rejected. Also, I guess the whole episode with my ex husband left me kind of skeptical when it came to men. Before I met my current DB I dated two other men who only had one thing on their mind. Needless to say, the longest of those relationships lasted six month before I was dumped because the man I was dating at the time did not understand that I did not feel comfortable engaging in a certain adult activity with him. I tried online dating for a while and got stood up a couple times so of course that ruined my self esteem a little. On the last blind date I went on happened to get stood up and met the most incredible man ever. I am head over heels in love with him however he happens to be a marine. That in no way hinders me from loving him at all, because of who he is and the sacrifices he is making I love him even more. My only problem is after months of individual counseling for myself I am still left with some unresolved doubts. My wonderful DB tells me every chance he gets that he loves me and that he has finally met his better half, I am not sure what he meant by this comment though.

    Okays guys after all that background information I am finally ready to tell you all what happened today. My friend who is also my new room mate overhead me talking to my db on the phone today. I asked my DB if he still wanted to be with me when he came back ( I was seriously having a MAJOR setback at the moment ) because I couldn't understand what he loved about me ( the person that has had a lot of failed relationships and has a heck of a lot of emotional baggage). My DB totally ignored my question when all needed to hear him say was yes he still wanted to be with me. We talked for about five minutes before I panicked and finally asked if he heard what I asked him, he never answered my question at all.Before he hung up he said " I love everything about you" and I will call you later. I finally gave in and just started crying like a baby because I was so confused since he didnt answer my question when all I need was some reassurance. During my moments of despair and tears my friend said if the man causes you to cry just dump and someone else will come along. My reply was," I dont want anyone else " , before I left for work I overhead my friend setting me up on a blind date with one her castoffs this weekend. Please someone tell me I am not overreacting and I have a right to be furious with her because at this point Im confused and half way out of my mind. Not to mention I have been sitting at work furious for the last 9 hours and still have three hours left I get off!!!!!!
    Last edited by atlast1985; 04-11-2014 at 09:06 PM.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by atlast1985 View Post
    Note to self: My man loves me no matter what ANYONE else says.

    A little background about me, I got married the first time very young. I was naive and my ex-husband realized that and took advantage of it every chance he got. When we got married my ex husband was one of my dad's soldiers. Just a side note my dad was a commander in the US Army when he retired two years ago at Fort Hood. During the course of my 8 year marriage I hid the fact that I was being mentally and verbally abused from everyone including my father. After my divorce two years ago I was too afraid to date anyone else for the fear of being rejected. Also, I guess the whole episode with my ex husband left me kind of skeptical when it came to men. Before I met my current DB I dated two other men who only had one thing on their mind. Needless to say, the longest of those relationships lasted six month before I was dumped because the man I was dating at the time did not understand that I did not feel comfortable engaging in a certain adult activity with him. I tried online dating for a while and got stood up a couple times so of course that ruined my self esteem a little. On the last blind date I went on happened to get stood up and met the most incredible man ever. I am head over heels in love with him however he happens to be a marine. That in no way hinders me from loving him at all, because of who he is and the sacrifices he is making I love him even more. My only problem is after months of individual counseling for myself I am still left with some unresolved doubts. My wonderful DB tells me every chance he gets that he loves me and that he has finally met his better half, I am not sure what he meant by this comment though.

    Okays guys after all that background information I am finally ready to tell you all what happened today. My friend who is also my new room mate overhead me talking to my db on the phone today. I asked my DB if he still wanted to be with me when he came back ( I was seriously having a MAJOR setback at the moment ) because I couldn't understand what he loved about me ( the person that has had a lot of failed relationships and has a heck of a lot of emotional baggage). My DB totally ignored my question when all needed to hear him say was yes he still wanted to be with me. We talked for about five minutes before I panicked and finally asked if he heard what I asked him, he never answered my question at all.Before he hung up he said " I love everything about you" and I will call you later. I finally gave in and just started crying like a baby because I was so confused since he didnt answer my question when all I need was some reassurance. During my moments of despair and tears my friend said if the man causes you to cry just dump and someone else will come along. My reply was," I dont want anyone else " , before I left for work I overhead my friend setting me up on a blind date with one her castoffs this weekend. Please someone tell me I am not overreacting and I have a right to be furious with her because at this point Im confused and half way out of my mind. Not to mention I have been sitting at work furious for the last 9 hours and still have three hours left I get off!!!!!!
    You are SERIOUSLY overreacting if the events unfolded as you described.

    If he said the bolded, he did reassure you.

    He may not have answered your direct question in the way you wanted because he feels that you don't believe him when he does.

    Breathe and relax. You are way too angry about this if you're still this angry after nine hours at work.
    Last edited by Lynn; 04-11-2014 at 08:26 PM. Reason: Holy atrocious spelling, Batman!
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by atlast1985 View Post
    Note to self: My man loves me no matter what ANYONE else says.

    A little background about me, I got married the first time very young. I was naive and my ex-husband realized that and took advantage of it every chance he got. When we got married my ex husband was one of my dad's soldiers. Just a side note my dad was a commander in the US Army when he retired two years ago at Fort Hood. During the course of my 8 year marriage I hid the fact that I was being mentally and verbally abused from everyone including my father. After my divorce two years ago I was too afraid to date anyone else for the fear of being rejected. Also, I guess the whole episode with my ex husband left me kind of skeptical when it came to men. Before I met my current DB I dated two other men who only had one thing on their mind. Needless to say, the longest of those relationships lasted six month before I was dumped because the man I was dating at the time did not understand that I did not feel comfortable engaging in a certain adult activity with him. I tried online dating for a while and got stood up a couple times so of course that ruined my self esteem a little. On the last blind date I went on happened to get stood up and met the most incredible man ever. I am head over heels in love with him however he happens to be a marine. That in no way hinders me from loving him at all, because of who he is and the sacrifices he is making I love him even more. My only problem is after months of individual counseling for myself I am still left with some unresolved doubts. My wonderful DB tells me every chance he gets that he loves me and that he has finally met his better half, I am not sure what he meant by this comment though.

    Okays guys after all that background information I am finally ready to tell you all what happened today. My friend who is also my new room mate overhead me talking to my db on the phone today. I asked my DB if he still wanted to be with me when he came back ( I was seriously having a MAJOR setback at the moment ) because I couldn't understand what he loved about me ( the person that has had a lot of failed relationships and has a heck of a lot of emotional baggage). My DB totally ignored my question when all needed to hear him say was yes he still wanted to be with me. We talked for about five minutes before I panicked and finally asked if he heard what I asked him, he never answered my question at all.Before he hung up he said " I love everything about you" and I will call you later. I finally gave in and just started crying like a baby because I was so confused since he didnt answer my question when all I need was some reassurance. During my moments of despair and tears my friend said if the man causes you to cry just dump and someone else will come along. My reply was," I dont want anyone else " , before I left for work I overhead my friend setting me up on a blind date with one her castoffs this weekend. Please someone tell me I am not overreacting and I have a right to be furious with her because at this point Im confused and half way out of my mind. Not to mention I have been sitting at work furious for the last 9 hours and still have three hours left I get off!!!!!!
    Pssssttttt........*you* are a civilian

    Beyond that - with Lynn
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    #4
    Given this and your other post about your "friend" (same friend or different friend, btw?) I have to wonder.....
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    You are SERIOUSLY overreacting if the events unfolded as you described.

    If he said the bolded, he did reassure you.

    He may not have answered your direct question in the way you wanted because he feels that you don't believe him when he does.

    Breathe and relax. You are way to angry about this if you're still thins angry after nine hours at work.
    Thank you for the reply I just needed someone elses input. I am not angry with him, I got over that 5 minutes after our conversation ended. Im angry with my friend for not understanding that I was having a moment of panic and she cant just setting people up on blind dates and not respecting the fact that they are in a relationship.
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    The back of my dependent ID still says I'm a civilian so I'm not sure you can trust me, but I think overreacting, she was probably trying to helpful.
    Make like queen Elsa and let it go
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Ol' Grey Mare View Post
    Given this and your other post about your "friend" (same friend or different friend, btw?) I have to wonder.....
    Same friend and she has already made it know that she does not like the fact that I am dating someone of a different race.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweetie View Post
    The back of my dependent ID still says I'm a civilian so I'm not sure you can trust me, but I think overreacting, she was probably trying to helpful.
    Make like queen Elsa and let it go
    To be quite honest, she doesnt like my boyfriend as it is. I may be looking for a new roommate soon since she said she cant tolerate someone of a different race sleeping under our roof.
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    Quote Originally Posted by atlast1985 View Post
    Thank you for the reply I just needed someone elses input. I am not angry with him, I got over that 5 minutes after our conversation ended. Im angry with my friend for not understanding that I was having a moment of panic and she cant just setting people up on blind dates and not respecting the fact that they are in a relationship.
    Quote Originally Posted by atlast1985 View Post
    Same friend and she has already made it know that she does not like the fact that I am dating someone of a different race.
    Quote Originally Posted by atlast1985 View Post
    To be quite honest, she doesnt like my boyfriend as it is. I may be looking for a new roommate soon since she said she cant tolerate someone of a different race sleeping under our roof.
    Yeah...

    Why is she your friend?
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    Quote Originally Posted by atlast1985 View Post
    Same friend and she has already made it know that she does not like the fact that I am dating someone of a different race.
    Why do you still have ANY contact with her? Why is she in your life and able to set you up on blind dates. Stand up for yourself, tell her to knock it off.
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