Db and I broke up.. Need some advice

[star_yamzy15]

Db is leaving for Germany next Monday. Then, he'll be leaving for Afghanistan this summer. He made promises and stuff. He even bought a magic jack and a laptop so we could communicate everyday. Two days ago, he broke up with me because he said that he doesn't want me to wait, that a future for
him is vague since he's getting deployed. I felt shocked. He just did it randomly. He said that he still wants to talk and communicate, and if ever he'll be able to come back, he'll find me and he'll
never let me go. I felt so betrayed. He made promises and he just broke up with me a week before he's leaving.

He said that we can't be able to communicate when he'll be in Afghanistan. Is that even possible? He might be deployed a year and no communication for a year is hard. He doesn't want me waiting for him, getting so sad and depressed. Maybe because he think he can't come back
and something might happen to him. It's his first time so Idk.

I feel like he doesn't love me. He could've fought for me. He said he won't find any other girl like and he won't look for
one. I doubt that. :-/

yesterday, we talked and i suggested something ridiculous. I know it looks crazy but I told him that we're not getting back together, but we'll still talk
and stuff and still act like we're together. We won't find someone else, an it'll
be the same restrictions
and stuff. He agreed with it.

I'm worried though. When we broke up, i found out he was talking to his ex gf and asking for advice. Is that even ok? He said she could relate. I mean of all people? He doesn't say much to his friends but seriously an ex gf? I asked him if he texted her. He said no. Just skype an i asked him if how did he find her, he said that he found her on skype. Then i found out they were texting. Hr said he forgot I even asked that. He said he found her number while he was cleaning his closet. But when we became ok he stopped texting her though. But why did he delete her messages? Of all the messages he deleted it was just hers. What do you think? Should i believe him?

Did i make the right decision about the suggestion part?

Is it true you cant call or communicate while in Afghan.
Please enlighten me
i would really wait for him no matter what
i think he's the one for me and ive never risk anything like this to anyone

did he really lie? Does he really love me? I want it to work. He said he would
never cheat and he even said that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. How do i know he isn't lying?

[MS234755]

I'm sorry, that was A LOT of text to wade through. But there IS communication in Afghanistan. It isn't amazing, but it's definitely there. And I think if they're texting and he's lying, you have bigger problems than him deploying.

[aura612]

It sounds like theres a lot of deception and lying going on. It also sounds like he's looking for an excuse. Although DB has not been deployed yet, I know that generally there is communication in Afghanistan.

You two seem to have a lot of problems to work through. The whole "lets be together but not really be together" looks like a recipe for disaster.

[miamoa2002]

Yes, there is communication in Afganistan

Honestly, why would you wait for a guy who doesnt want you to wait? If he is just having cold feet or something, let him loose and he will come back, if not then better you know now then 1 year from now.
Sorry

[lovehim13]

I know this hurts terribly right now, but if you can possibly step out of the situation and look as objectively as possible at your own words, you may reconsider where you stand with him. He hasn't been entirely honest with you re: contact with the ex, and since this came out of the blue, maybe there is more that he isn't being completely open about. I'm sorry your heart is breaking, and I hope you will be able to make a decision about where to go from here that won't lead you to more heartache. Best wishes and I'm sorry to know you are hurting.

[star_yamzy15]

Thanks so much guys..
It really helps..
He said he didn't mean to lie..
He just doesn't want me to get mad.. When I confronted him the second time, he told me right away though.. For some reason, he gets so forgetful since he got back from training..
idk what to think anymore..
maybe i have to think about things

[star_yamzy15]

but he hasn't cheated on me since the 3rd day we started dating.. and i forgave him for that since i wasn't really serious to him at all.. but everytime we break up, he always talks to his ex gfs.. the ex gf he texted with has a boyfriend too and i think the guy knows that my db and her are texting.. he said that he'll love me forever.. i'm so confused.. i don't know what to believe anymore.. i can't even trust my own head and heart to decide anymore.. he just sent me this text right now:
'"God asked me how long I planned to keep you in my life.. I smiled and replied, "how do I choose between always and forever?"'

I mean he did do things to prove that he loves me. He just has this way of talking to his exes and some other people everytime we broke up. but when we get back together, he doesn't talk to them anymore. and i know it's stupid, but i check his phone. lol. he just have this faults you know. I mean people are not perfect right? also, he has a little patience towards me.. only me.. he said he doesn't know why. I mean we've been going out for 3 years. and the last time we fight and keep breaking up was the first two years. but after he got back from training.. we just fight again.. and that thing he just did randomly. when he was in bootcamp and AIT, we talk, and he always send me letters and gifts. he sneaks up and text me. it was okay.. now that he's about to leave, everything just ain't right anymore..
__________________

[Mrz. Robinson]

Truthfully sweetie this is total BS. Why would you want to be with a man that plays with your emotions this way. If he was so serious about you then he would not be talking to his ex gfs. there would be no point because he loves you. To me you just need to let go. He acts like he wants you to just be hid rag doll and let him do whatevr he pleases to do with you. I understand you love him,but sometimes the best hing to do to is let go. Its kinda clear you don't trust him because if you did, there would be no point in you going through his phone. As for communication in Afagn, yes it is there. he could skype you, email, and write letters. If he is telling you this I beleieve that he just wants you out of your life.

[Rianne]

Originally Posted by star_yamzy15 but he hasn't cheated on me since the 3rd day we started dating.. and i forgave him for that since i wasn't really serious to him at all.. but everytime we break up, he always talks to his ex gfs.. the ex gf he texted with has a boyfriend too and i think the guy knows that my db and her are texting.. he said that he'll love me forever.. i'm so confused.. i don't know what to believe anymore.. i can't even trust my own head and heart to decide anymore.. he just sent me this text right now: '"God asked me how long I planned to keep you in my life.. I smiled and replied, "how do I choose between always and forever?"' I mean he did do things to prove that he loves me. He just has this way of talking to his exes and some other people everytime we broke up. but when we get back together, he doesn't talk to them anymore. and i know it's stupid, but i check his phone. lol. he just have this faults you know. I mean people are not perfect right? also, he has a little patience towards me.. only me.. he said he doesn't know why. I mean we've been going out for 3 years. and the last time we fight and keep breaking up was the first two years. but after he got back from training.. we just fight again.. and that thing he just did randomly. when he was in bootcamp and AIT, we talk, and he always send me letters and gifts. he sneaks up and text me. it was okay.. now that he's about to leave, everything just ain't right anymore.. __________________

To the bolded: How often have you guys broken up before? How long have you been together? Sounds like me he is not worth waiting all that time for. You either go into this together as a team or it will not work

[star_yamzy15]

Thanks guys..
That gives me a lot to think about tonight..