How you do combine everything?? - Long Distance Love

Barbara · 11-02-2009, 12:19 PM

Hi ladies!
I'm asking especially the ones in VERY long distance relationships, like me (I'm Italian and live in Italy while my DB lives in the States)...

How do you combine your life (so that's a job, studies, etc...) with this kinda complicated relationship?
I'm asking this because I'm starting to find it hard to mix everything up...I've been doing few different temporary jobs the last couple years, so i didnt have problems so far making plans with him to see each others and stay together for a bit (i.e. I stayed 1 month at him in spring and 3 months in summer). but now i'm tired of doing some little stupid jobs and I'd like to do something better for myself..so i'm wordering, what if i find a very good job that i like? (I mean here in Italy: i can't legally work in the States at the moment...also if someone has advice about this too I appreciate ahhah) I wouldnt be as free as i've been so far to visit him, and making plans with him...we basically would hardly see and i dont want to make our relationship even harder than already is..and i wouldnt want to ruin it... but at same time i want and need to do something good for myself! How could i combine both things?? I dont really know what to do right now!!

Has anyone of you ever experienced something like that? What did you do?

MissTori1987 · 11-02-2009, 12:24 PM

When DB and I were in a LDR, we had our normal life ( you know.. work, school, etc.), but in the evening we would get on the web cam and have "dates". We were unable to see one another frequently, so our relationship greatly benefitted from the web came dates. I don't have much advice, because we only did LDR for about five months. If you need a new job, then do what's best for you... I am sure your DB will truly understand.

pinkpolkadots · 11-02-2009, 01:23 PM

There are very very few people that can arrange to stay with their SO for 1-3 months at a time. If it is meant to be you will have to sacrifice and just see each other when you can, even if it is only for a week or two.

Barbara · 11-02-2009, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by pinkpolkadots

There are very very few people that can arrange to stay with their SO for 1-3 months at a time. If it is meant to be you will have to sacrifice and just see each other when you can, even if it is only for a week or two.

[pity party mode: on]
yeah i know... the thing is that i wouldnt want to sacrifice either of the 2 things if i could... *sigh.
idk it's probably because i've felt so good and happy staying those months with him and i get depressed thinking that it could not happen again until...until when/what???? who knows!

[pity party mode: off]

Amanda801 · 11-02-2009, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by pinkpolkadots

There are very very few people that can arrange to stay with their SO for 1-3 months at a time. If it is meant to be you will have to sacrifice and just see each other when you can, even if it is only for a week or two.

I am in Washington State and df is in North Carolina and I have two very busy and time consuming jobs. And df is going back to school so are extra money goes to his books and paying off student loans. But it is something we sacrafice so we can have a better future.

Barbara · 11-02-2009, 05:47 PM

Originally Posted by Amanda801

I am in Washington State and df is in North Carolina and I have two very busy and time consuming jobs. And df is going back to school so are extra money goes to his books and paying off student loans. But it is something we sacrafice so we can have a better future.

good luck with everything!!

i'm thinking of going back to school too and finish my studies (i'm half way there)... i have to resolve some technical problems before i definitely decide though. i hope i will work it out.

thanks for you stories, it helps me a lot reading about others' experiences with this situation..they make it sound 'possible'

Brit · 11-04-2009, 05:11 PM

I am in Florida and DB is in pilot training in Texas, both of our schedules are extremely hectic, I am in school more then full time as well as working a full time job. For us, finding time to spend with eachother in person is near impossible! We spent 4 days together over Labor Day, and will spend about 5 days together at Christmas, after that I probably won't see him until he's done with pilot training.
We have learned to make the very best of the time we do have in person, as well as the time we don't, we text everyday, talk on the phone once or twice a week, and try to have a webcame date every week or two.
Not having the time together in person definetely makes the relationship more challening but we are both pursuing our own goals as individuals, so that eventually we can pursue our goals as a couple. We are sacrificing now, to make our future together better! Just keeping that in mind makes it all worth it.

katieharneck · 11-04-2009, 08:23 PM

My Df is in Okinawa, while I am in Michigan. We don't have the availability or the money to visit eachother as often as we like. I'll be making my first, and only, trip to Okinawa after Christmas for 16 days. He's been there for 2 years with 1 more left. We've decided that I'll make one trip to see him and he'll make one to see me before he comes stateside November 2010.

It really sucks, but he has his job to do and I have mine, AND a 19 mo to care for, so taking breaks from everything to go back and forth is next to impossible.

We make up for it by talking on Skype everyday. Without fail. I always say goodbye to him before he goes to work and he wakes me up in the morning when he gets back. (He's back on Nights! Wohoo!) So, overall, we talk about 4-8 hrs a day. And yes, lack of sleep on both sides does come into play from time to time. Hehe.

Actually, as I type this, I can hear fly-overs over Skype out at Kadena. I don't know how he sleeps through it. Lol. One of the best parts of the week are weekends. He'll set his schedule to mine. Sleep when I sleep - which is great cause I can just roll over and say his name if I can't sleep and he's right there.

I think it's great that some of you girls have the option of visiting your boys for weeks on end. Lucky, lucky.

Barbara · 11-05-2009, 06:33 PM

thanks Brit!

and @ katieharneck: i feel you because me and DB have been like that for the last 2 years. the 1st year together, we only saw once for like 5 days. The rest of the time we were apart. And money is also a problem. So i'm not so lucky as you think

thanks for sharing your experience!

katieharneck · 11-05-2009, 06:48 PM

I guess I need to keep reminding myself that not many of us girls have the option of just dialing the phone or hopping online. DF has a MI phone number through Vonage, so even though he's in Japan, I can call him for free.

We're all lucky for different reasons. I hope everything works out for you. Waiting is the hardest part, but whether you'd wait or not was never a question, huh? I understand completely.

Originally Posted by Barbara

thanks Brit!

and @ katieharneck: i feel you because me and DB have been like that for the last 2 years. the 1st year together, we only saw once for like 5 days. The rest of the time we were apart. And money is also a problem. So i'm not so lucky as you think

thanks for sharing your experience!

11-02-2009, 12:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
Barbara Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Me: Italy/Him: UAE Posts: 468 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 17% Longevity: 18%	How you do combine everything?? Hi ladies! I'm asking especially the ones in VERY long distance relationships, like me (I'm Italian and live in Italy while my DB lives in the States)... How do you combine your life (so that's a job, studies, etc...) with this kinda complicated relationship? I'm asking this because I'm starting to find it hard to mix everything up...I've been doing few different temporary jobs the last couple years, so i didnt have problems so far making plans with him to see each others and stay together for a bit (i.e. I stayed 1 month at him in spring and 3 months in summer). but now i'm tired of doing some little stupid jobs and I'd like to do something better for myself..so i'm wordering, what if i find a very good job that i like? (I mean here in Italy: i can't legally work in the States at the moment...also if someone has advice about this too I appreciate ahhah) I wouldnt be as free as i've been so far to visit him, and making plans with him...we basically would hardly see and i dont want to make our relationship even harder than already is..and i wouldnt want to ruin it... but at same time i want and need to do something good for myself! How could i combine both things?? I dont really know what to do right now!! Has anyone of you ever experienced something like that? What did you do? __________________ "I feel so blessed that the right person came into my life. There is no doubt in my mind that you are the girl i'm meant to be with and I'll do everything in my power to keep you in my life. I have been living a very blessed life lately, but you are without question the most beautiful thing in my life." -DB

11-02-2009, 12:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
MissTori1987 Snuggie + Nibblet = FOREVER Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Georgia Posts: 1,692 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 66% Longevity: 24%	When DB and I were in a LDR, we had our normal life ( you know.. work, school, etc.), but in the evening we would get on the web cam and have "dates". We were unable to see one another frequently, so our relationship greatly benefitted from the web came dates. I don't have much advice, because we only did LDR for about five months. If you need a new job, then do what's best for you... I am sure your DB will truly understand. __________________

11-04-2009, 05:11 PM	#7 (permalink)
Brit MilitarySOS Jewel Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Me: Florida Him: Laughlin AFB Posts: 387 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 14% Longevity: 21%	I am in Florida and DB is in pilot training in Texas, both of our schedules are extremely hectic, I am in school more then full time as well as working a full time job. For us, finding time to spend with eachother in person is near impossible! We spent 4 days together over Labor Day, and will spend about 5 days together at Christmas, after that I probably won't see him until he's done with pilot training. We have learned to make the very best of the time we do have in person, as well as the time we don't, we text everyday, talk on the phone once or twice a week, and try to have a webcame date every week or two. Not having the time together in person definetely makes the relationship more challening but we are both pursuing our own goals as individuals, so that eventually we can pursue our goals as a couple. We are sacrificing now, to make our future together better! Just keeping that in mind makes it all worth it. __________________ My Airman....My Hero....My Heart

11-04-2009, 08:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
katieharneck Airman's Girl Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Me: Selfridge ANGB, Michigan; Him: Kadena AFB Okinawa, Japan Posts: 219 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 59% Longevity: 0%	My Df is in Okinawa, while I am in Michigan. We don't have the availability or the money to visit eachother as often as we like. I'll be making my first, and only, trip to Okinawa after Christmas for 16 days. He's been there for 2 years with 1 more left. We've decided that I'll make one trip to see him and he'll make one to see me before he comes stateside November 2010. It really sucks, but he has his job to do and I have mine, AND a 19 mo to care for, so taking breaks from everything to go back and forth is next to impossible. We make up for it by talking on Skype everyday. Without fail. I always say goodbye to him before he goes to work and he wakes me up in the morning when he gets back. (He's back on Nights! Wohoo!) So, overall, we talk about 4-8 hrs a day. And yes, lack of sleep on both sides does come into play from time to time. Hehe. Actually, as I type this, I can hear fly-overs over Skype out at Kadena. I don't know how he sleeps through it. Lol. One of the best parts of the week are weekends. He'll set his schedule to mine. Sleep when I sleep - which is great cause I can just roll over and say his name if I can't sleep and he's right there. I think it's great that some of you girls have the option of visiting your boys for weeks on end. Lucky, lucky. __________________ 'Til my plane leaves!

11-05-2009, 06:33 PM	#9 (permalink)
Barbara Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Me: Italy/Him: UAE Posts: 468 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 17% Longevity: 18%	thanks Brit! and @ katieharneck: i feel you because me and DB have been like that for the last 2 years. the 1st year together, we only saw once for like 5 days. The rest of the time we were apart. And money is also a problem. So i'm not so lucky as you think thanks for sharing your experience! __________________ "I feel so blessed that the right person came into my life. There is no doubt in my mind that you are the girl i'm meant to be with and I'll do everything in my power to keep you in my life. I have been living a very blessed life lately, but you are without question the most beautiful thing in my life." -DB

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11-02-2009, 01:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
pinkpolkadots Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,313 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 45% Longevity: 16%	There are very very few people that can arrange to stay with their SO for 1-3 months at a time. If it is meant to be you will have to sacrifice and just see each other when you can, even if it is only for a week or two.