how does the distance impact your relationship? - Long Distance Love

infantry honey · 10-27-2009, 12:49 PM

so fighting has taken a toll. db and i have been apart for 5 months now, i've seen him once-for a week. i'm going to see him thursday

.. but not for all the right reasons. I think the distance has finally taken a toll with arguments and all the negative.. he told me that he loves me but the feelings are not as strong. what do you ladies think? does the distance seem to fade away and leave the relationship dull since we don't get all the intimacy like normal couples do?

I'm so lost in all this.. the first couple months were so amazing, never loved him more but now we just bicker and leave it dull... how does the distance impact the relationships?

Missing you.... · 10-27-2009, 01:18 PM

Im right there with you! at first the distance made us so strong now we just fight about all the little stuff and now that's all we seem to do.... but I think if you recognize that's whats happening you can try to work on it and if its meant to be it will be but it takes a lot of hard work to keep it together lots of talking and reassuring each other and finding new ways to keep the intimacy there without the physical part... web chats and sexy phone calls and letters seem to help me and DH

Kerind22 · 10-27-2009, 02:44 PM

Its Def has its downfalls, but every relationship does. You both just need to talk about what you want and expect out of this relationship. You need to talk about the good and the bad things, face to face. Then figure out a plan to help get it where you want it to be, or decide to take a break. I know it's hard. Good luck and PM me if you need anything.

*skittles* · 10-27-2009, 02:48 PM

dh and I did the distance thing for about a year...the only time we had fights were when he came out to visit me. Unfortunately his parents lived in the same place as me and his mom would pull him in a million different directions. It always irritated me that he was coming there to visit me, but his mom would throw a **** fit about how much time he spent with her.

Now that we're together, we don't have that problem anymore...and he never goes home lol. It'll still become an issue at christmas and holidays though because he'll have his daughter and I won't be able to take the time off of work and will be sad if I have to spend two weeks at christmas by myself.

NDNatlGuardGF · 10-27-2009, 02:58 PM

We do argue a lot, but I think most of it is the stress of different situations. For example, if he's had a hard day and when he calls me to talk and calm down a bit, I'm not available. He'll usually get annoyed at me, even though its not my fault, just because he's stressed adn needed me. And I've done the same thing to him in similar situations. It's hard when you can't see eachother face to face for such a long time, adn can't read the emotions in their expression. As hard as it is though, I think it has brought DB and I closer together. We've talked about issues that otherwise probably would've never come up, and we have a LOT more trust now than we did when he first left.

xoAJ · 10-27-2009, 02:59 PM

Throughout me and DB's relationship the entire thing has been long distance and out of 1 1/2 years we've been together I've had the chance to spend less than two months with him personally. The distance makes you stronger but it eventually takes its toll on the both of us, we have little disagreements here and there but it always gets solved by the end of the night.

Once we see each other, it's a whole different story. Were both at ease(except for the first day we seem to try not to step on the other's toes) and it's smiles all around.

OP, I'm sorry your feeling lost

Talk to your DB on what you want in this relationship, and ask him what he wants as well. It's a two-way street.

Mrz. Robinson · 10-27-2009, 03:04 PM

For me and my DH it made is stronger. We always looked at the distance as a gift. The relationship is what you make it.

SOrry your going through this, hope things get better for you.

katiedelta3 · 10-27-2009, 03:10 PM

Dh and I always bicker when we are long-distance. We don't love each other any less, I think it's just frustration. It's never anything serious, just bickering and we don't do that when we are physically together. When we are back together again, it always goes right back to normal and no petty arguing.

pinkpolkadots · 10-27-2009, 04:07 PM

Sometimes things get boring in long distance, we run out of things to say to each other besides what we did that day. But things change, we go from very lovey dovey, to just ho hum every month or so.

his_little_spoon · 10-27-2009, 04:16 PM

We have been doing long distance for almost 3 years. We don't see each other very often but the arguing does seem to get worse the longer we have been apart. I am moving in 6 months and we have been arguing much more lately because we are just so sick of doing long distance. You just need to recognize that you love each other and yes the distance does make it harder. We have web cam dates which seem to help.

10-27-2009, 12:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
infantry honey Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 32 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 2% Longevity: 7%	how does the distance impact your relationship? so fighting has taken a toll. db and i have been apart for 5 months now, i've seen him once-for a week. i'm going to see him thursday .. but not for all the right reasons. I think the distance has finally taken a toll with arguments and all the negative.. he told me that he loves me but the feelings are not as strong. what do you ladies think? does the distance seem to fade away and leave the relationship dull since we don't get all the intimacy like normal couples do? I'm so lost in all this.. the first couple months were so amazing, never loved him more but now we just bicker and leave it dull... how does the distance impact the relationships?

10-27-2009, 02:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
NDNatlGuardGF NDNatlGuardGF Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Me: Grand Forks, ND Him: Afghanistan Posts: 1,528 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 59% Longevity: 14%	We do argue a lot, but I think most of it is the stress of different situations. For example, if he's had a hard day and when he calls me to talk and calm down a bit, I'm not available. He'll usually get annoyed at me, even though its not my fault, just because he's stressed adn needed me. And I've done the same thing to him in similar situations. It's hard when you can't see eachother face to face for such a long time, adn can't read the emotions in their expression. As hard as it is though, I think it has brought DB and I closer together. We've talked about issues that otherwise probably would've never come up, and we have a LOT more trust now than we did when he first left. __________________ DB: "Everything in the world makes no sense to me without you." DB: "The best time of my life has been loving you..."

10-27-2009, 02:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
xoAJ (: Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: BMore,Maryland DB: Ft. Campbell,KY Posts: 264 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 51% Longevity: 4%	Throughout me and DB's relationship the entire thing has been long distance and out of 1 1/2 years we've been together I've had the chance to spend less than two months with him personally. The distance makes you stronger but it eventually takes its toll on the both of us, we have little disagreements here and there but it always gets solved by the end of the night. Once we see each other, it's a whole different story. Were both at ease(except for the first day we seem to try not to step on the other's toes) and it's smiles all around. OP, I'm sorry your feeling lost Talk to your DB on what you want in this relationship, and ask him what he wants as well. It's a two-way street. __________________

10-27-2009, 03:04 PM	#7 (permalink)
Mrz. Robinson LIVING IN GERMANY AND LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT Join Date: May 2009 Location: VILSECK GERMANY Posts: 1,797 Blog Entries: 2 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 92% Longevity: 9%	For me and my DH it made is stronger. We always looked at the distance as a gift. The relationship is what you make it. SOrry your going through this, hope things get better for you. __________________ He said will you be MINE 4eva Of Course I Replied YES!!

10-27-2009, 03:10 PM	#8 (permalink)
katiedelta3 <3 Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Okinawa Posts: 5,165 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 94% Longevity: 17%	Dh and I always bicker when we are long-distance. We don't love each other any less, I think it's just frustration. It's never anything serious, just bickering and we don't do that when we are physically together. When we are back together again, it always goes right back to normal and no petty arguing. __________________

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10-27-2009, 01:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
Missing you.... Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Hawaii Posts: 92 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 17% Longevity: 11%	Im right there with you! at first the distance made us so strong now we just fight about all the little stuff and now that's all we seem to do.... but I think if you recognize that's whats happening you can try to work on it and if its meant to be it will be but it takes a lot of hard work to keep it together lots of talking and reassuring each other and finding new ways to keep the intimacy there without the physical part... web chats and sexy phone calls and letters seem to help me and DH

10-27-2009, 02:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
Kerind22 Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: The south Posts: 30 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 4% Longevity: 1%	Its Def has its downfalls, but every relationship does. You both just need to talk about what you want and expect out of this relationship. You need to talk about the good and the bad things, face to face. Then figure out a plan to help get it where you want it to be, or decide to take a break. I know it's hard. Good luck and PM me if you need anything.

10-27-2009, 02:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
skittles MilitarySOS Jewel Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Savannah, GA Posts: 2,509 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 92% Longevity: 11%	dh and I did the distance thing for about a year...the only time we had fights were when he came out to visit me. Unfortunately his parents lived in the same place as me and his mom would pull him in a million different directions. It always irritated me that he was coming there to visit me, but his mom would throw a **** fit about how much time he spent with her. Now that we're together, we don't have that problem anymore...and he never goes home lol. It'll still become an issue at christmas and holidays though because he'll have his daughter and I won't be able to take the time off of work and will be sad if I have to spend two weeks at christmas by myself.

10-27-2009, 04:07 PM	#9 (permalink)
pinkpolkadots Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,313 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 45% Longevity: 16%	Sometimes things get boring in long distance, we run out of things to say to each other besides what we did that day. But things change, we go from very lovey dovey, to just ho hum every month or so.

10-27-2009, 04:16 PM	#10 (permalink)
his_little_spoon loving my nuke! Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 4,872 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 20% Longevity: 40%	We have been doing long distance for almost 3 years. We don't see each other very often but the arguing does seem to get worse the longer we have been apart. I am moving in 6 months and we have been arguing much more lately because we are just so sick of doing long distance. You just need to recognize that you love each other and yes the distance does make it harder. We have web cam dates which seem to help. __________________