No-one understands :(

[Jo'sgirl]

hi everyone
being a military GF or wife is one of the most lonely and stressful experiences anyone can go through..im new to being a military GF and im finding it so difficult, but for me its made no easier by having no-one around me who understands what im going through.

my sweetie, Jo, was still a civvy when we first met (he went into the USAF a month ago) and even then my family didnt care much for Jo cus we are in diffrent countries (Jo is in the US, im in the UK) but i didnt care what they said then because i always had Jo around somehow.

now that Jo is in the air force and away from me till november, my family are being so unsupportive and un-understanding of why im so upset and missing my guy so much..when i first told my mom that Jo was leaving for BT, she took the "so what" attitude and told me to stop crying over Jo and ever since then, pretty much everyone in my family have been taking the "just forget about him" stance...they know i cant do that!..why dont they see how much i love Jo?.

why does no-one understnad why im an emotional wreck right now? i have had sleep problems and if i make it through a day without crying because i miss Jo, then its a miracle.

is anyone else having similar problems with theyre family? or is it just me?

thanks for reading...

[Serpentine]

welcome!

Have you and Jo met? If you haven't had a lot of face time that could be why your mom doesn't get it.

I've been a GF for over 3 years and I won't lie, the weeks at a time away get old but it's tolerable, you'll find a way

[~Jules~]

Its hard for people to understand long distance relationships if they have never been in one. Its even harder, if they don't like the person you are in a LDR with. Just ignore them the best you can. Time will prove to them that Jo is going nowhere and that he is a huge part of your life. I can't say I relate exactly.
I have dated guys that my parents didnt' like. That just made me rebellious. I didn't care what they said. But they love DH,so they are their for support when I need them.

Besides, there is plenty of support here, and a ton of people that know what you are going through.

[BJo]

You can't expect people who haven't been through it to understand.

You can't hold it against people that they aren't in a military relationship.

[Moxie]

While it definitely gets tough sometimes, a part of me is worried that you are losing sleep over this and rarely ever have a day that you aren't crying. Sure, we all have nights and days like that, but if the MAJORITY of your days and nights are like that, something isn't right. Not everyone is cut out to be in a long distance relationship or a military relationship. Maybe it will get easier for you, and I hope it does, but if it doesn't you might want to decide if your misery is worth it.

[Serpentine]

Originally Posted by Moxie While it definitely gets tough sometimes, a part of me is worried that you are losing sleep over this and rarely ever have a day that you aren't crying. Sure, we all have nights and days like that, but if the MAJORITY of your days and nights are like that, something isn't right. Not everyone is cut out to be in a long distance relationship or a military relationship. Maybe it will get easier for you, and I hope it does, but if it doesn't you might want to decide if your misery is worth it.

This too...like I said, I find it tolerable...sure I curl up with Ben&Jerry occasionally but... I really hope things look up for you!!

[benny09]

Originally Posted by Moxie While it definitely gets tough sometimes, a part of me is worried that you are losing sleep over this and rarely ever have a day that you aren't crying. Sure, we all have nights and days like that, but if the MAJORITY of your days and nights are like that, something isn't right. Not everyone is cut out to be in a long distance relationship or a military relationship. Maybe it will get easier for you, and I hope it does, but if it doesn't you might want to decide if your misery is worth it.

I was thinking the same thing! Everyone has ups and downs in LDR's but you can't let being apart from eachother make you lose sleep or spend your days crying. It's hard, but you need to pick yourself up and move forward because you're only making it harder on yourself. It's ok every now and then to break down, but you can't let it consume your life. Hang in there! I know what it's like to not have people understand, but there are so many wonderful people on this site who do understand what you are going through, you just need to keep a positive attitude.

[Unconditonal.Love]

Even it's or seems difficult for you, stay and be positive instead of focusing on all the negativity you feel and experience!
There'll always be people around you - no matter if they're friends, associates, relatives/loved ones or people you just met who supposedly never'll be able to understand what you're dealing with and how you feel!
Or better to say who rather say they don't understand instead of listnening to you, giving you advice or just lend you a shoulder to cry on!
Which sure has none to do with if they're military related or not, cause that's total BS if you ask me!
It's normal and common sense to understand how much we can miss some 1 we love and who's dear to us - if they're in the military or not, and any person/human being who can't understand for whatever reason if you ask me's either plain ignorant, stupid or doesn't understand a few things in life period!
Yes, being a military SO - no matter if wife, fiance or gf doesn't really matter, cause we all got our ups along with the downs, but to let the downs consume all of us and get all caught up in the downs's a super bad idea!
Yes, it's hard to deal with the situation of seperation - especially if everybody's against this relationship and love with a military person, but at the end of the day all that matters's the SO and us!
So since you don't get or've any support from the people around you, all you need to do's stick around here, make some friends or pals and get that needed and wanted support here from others of MSOS!
You'll see that works wonders and helps, cause all of us're either in the same or similar situations and we're or most of us here're in the same shoes about being a military SO!
Keep your head up and stay strong, take day by day and step by step, focus on the positive things and keep yourself busy which's really important!
Good luck with everything and you can only do you, yourself and you!
You can't please others or care too much about what they think, how they feel or what they think's right for you, cause that's your call and your call only!
It's difficult and tough to deal with, but you can do it and as long you believe it you're good to go!
Never lose that faith in what you do, you, yourself and you!
Regards and much love!

[MS234755]

Originally Posted by BJo You can't expect people who haven't been through it to understand. You can't hold it against people that they aren't in a military relationship.

With family, it can really hurt though.

[evil_genius]

Originally Posted by Moxie While it definitely gets tough sometimes, a part of me is worried that you are losing sleep over this and rarely ever have a day that you aren't crying. Sure, we all have nights and days like that, but if the MAJORITY of your days and nights are like that, something isn't right. Not everyone is cut out to be in a long distance relationship or a military relationship. Maybe it will get easier for you, and I hope it does, but if it doesn't you might want to decide if your misery is worth it.

I agree. I get upset now and then, but I keep myself busy with work, friends, and our daughter when he's gone. Even though we'll be married this winter, he's leaving for Iraq again soon, so the distance thing never really goes away until you're done with the military completely, so you just have to learn your best way to deal. I'm sure your family just doesn't like seeing you upset.