I hate to say it - Long Distance Love

Kelly Michelle · 05-06-2009, 06:05 PM

But I feel like this LDR is really getting to me.
I love him. I do.
But last night he tells me he only has one more month-ish, today he say they can keep him till the end of the year. ((YES FOR EAS!!!)) But that would be by HIS will with the Medical Board. He'd rather stay there longer, than come home & continue physical therapy at the VA here. They would give him more money if he stays, but also have to sell back those leave days, which strikes me at first glance as "he doesn't want to come back to me as early as he can"

I know he's worth the wait, and I know my heart is in it, but my mind is giving me something else.

I'm jealous. I know I am. Jealous of all the happy little relationships around me, who's SO is 5 minutes away, who talk to me all day about their weekend with their SO... All the things I can only dream about..

Anyone else been here? When does the jealousy end? I know I'm being irrational thinking the way I do, but I just can't help it..

~~hesmyarmyman~~ · 05-06-2009, 06:08 PM

I know how your feeling. I honestly hate the distance. And I sometimes don't feel like I can take it anymore.
I don't get jealous. But I do know how you feel.
I wake up some mornings just absolutely ready to kidnap him. I hate the distance with a fiery passion.

RainierLT87 · 05-06-2009, 06:13 PM

I can relate, right now DB is at training and we can't even talk! Talk about going nuts! Plus its always an LDR with us, and living on a college campus..that "love" is all around. I can't even walk to a class with out seeing happy couples. Yea it bothers me somedays, but then again I realize that my love is being tested, and I know its true, and LDR has given me somethings I wouldn't have gotten had I been like everyone else. It IS hard, but just think of what you have learned, and your not alone, even when it might seem like it. As I tell my friends, being the third wheel around here gets old, but when you have an SO out there some where being the third wheel is torture! Stay strong, I always say LDR's are kind of a mental game...its not for the weak thats for sure!

tns246 · 05-06-2009, 06:22 PM

Yea, i agree. I dont feel jealous, and really although you see your friends relationships and hear great things about them..you never know deep down whats really going on..only what they tell you. So, while i really dont enjoy the LDR i appreciate the fact that we are both strong enough to endure the distance. I'd much rather have him here with me, but regardless of if he's here or not i still care about him and respect him all the same. I was somewhat in the same situation that you and your SO are in. My SO got back from Iraq and said he wanted to go back, and i felt hurt. I know his reason being he was stressed by tons of work, and family and friends wanting to see him without giving him a minute to himself. But i dont know if our SO's realize how those statements can hurt our feelings. I dont think they want to be away from us, i just think its more of them wanting to get their work done. :-) Hope your feeling better.
God Bless,
:-) Tiff

CY84 · 05-06-2009, 06:37 PM

I know exactly how you feel. I feel jealous...I hate it! I wish I could see my DB every day. And while my heart is in it too, sometimes the lonliness really gets to me.

AFgf · 05-06-2009, 07:13 PM

not to be completley negative..and my situation was different, but i was jealous of all the girls who got to be with their bf's on the weekends etc, but DB was always worth the wait. i put in so much effort and time, but then a week before he came home, he dumped me.....so not saying he's going to do that to you at all....but thats what happened to me...but if you think he is worth the wait, then wait. Cause if you give up cause of the distance, you'll always wonder "what could have been" ya know...

LibraryBritt · 05-06-2009, 10:20 PM

I know how you feel....
All the other teachers at my school are either getting pregnant, married, or engaged. So day in day out I listen to their stories of engagement pics, doc appointments, bridal showers, the sweet thing he did for her this morning... It drives my insane! Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but there's always the little monster of jealousy sitting on my shoulder. And then when (if ever) then ask me about DB, it seems that they only ask out of politeness..... I don't live in a military community, none of my friends are in a LDR...I have no one to talk to! It was already tough me being in so cal, him stationed in alaska, but now he's deployed until the end of the year. I love him with all my heart, but every day it feels even harder to do.....

chriswifey · 05-06-2009, 11:00 PM

I understand how you feel. Being a military SO is hard. Lets face it, they will be away from us at some point for long periods of times. There will always be something that "comes up" and there is no certainty BUT when its all said and done and you see him/her for that first time, Its all worth it. I don't get jealous of other people, sometimes it bothers me that some people are insensitive about my situation. They will say, "I dunno how you do it." or " I couldn't be a military wife" But to me their are no other options. Their is no one in this whole world who I can ever imagine loving like I love DH. I know you feel the same way and sometimes you just have to remember that yes this sucks but it won't be forever and like you said he's worth the wait.

lavender_jane · 05-07-2009, 01:52 AM

It bothers me a lot too that DB never knows where/when he'll be moving around. The uncertainty is really hard. When I'm expecting to see him soon and all of sudden everything changes it's disappointing and frustrating for me. And when he chooses to take an assignment that moves him or keeps him away longer... well, it's hard to NOT take it personally. At the end of the day I know it's just the nature of his job and he loves and misses me when he's gone.

I don't think I get jealous too often but when I see my coupled up friends fighting over stupid things I get annoyed. Time together is precious!!

Zoe · 05-07-2009, 02:18 AM

oh honey! this is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO normal! i lost it last weekeng cause it was a bank holiday and the dun was out - i swear i nearly punched every loved up couple heading off for a bbq, a dinner date or a picnic!!

honey you are allowed to hate the LDR!!! I 'll be honest ive never questioned my love for Ryan but i do question the LDR and the army!

stay strong honey - his not wanting to come home is not to do with you! its to do with him being a practical male wanting to earn more money and feeling like he signed up for something and he wants to see it through!!!

stay strong and my PM box is always open!

05-06-2009, 06:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
Kelly Michelle Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Plant City, Florida. Formerly Camp Lejeune, NC. He's OUT!! Posts: 955 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 5% Longevity: 31%	I hate to say it But I feel like this LDR is really getting to me. I love him. I do. But last night he tells me he only has one more month-ish, today he say they can keep him till the end of the year. ((YES FOR EAS!!!)) But that would be by HIS will with the Medical Board. He'd rather stay there longer, than come home & continue physical therapy at the VA here. They would give him more money if he stays, but also have to sell back those leave days, which strikes me at first glance as "he doesn't want to come back to me as early as he can" I know he's worth the wait, and I know my heart is in it, but my mind is giving me something else. I'm jealous. I know I am. Jealous of all the happy little relationships around me, who's SO is 5 minutes away, who talk to me all day about their weekend with their SO... All the things I can only dream about.. Anyone else been here? When does the jealousy end? I know I'm being irrational thinking the way I do, but I just can't help it.. __________________ BS & LIES.

05-06-2009, 06:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
tns246 Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Maryland Posts: 55 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 4% Longevity: 10%	Yea, i agree. I dont feel jealous, and really although you see your friends relationships and hear great things about them..you never know deep down whats really going on..only what they tell you. So, while i really dont enjoy the LDR i appreciate the fact that we are both strong enough to endure the distance. I'd much rather have him here with me, but regardless of if he's here or not i still care about him and respect him all the same. I was somewhat in the same situation that you and your SO are in. My SO got back from Iraq and said he wanted to go back, and i felt hurt. I know his reason being he was stressed by tons of work, and family and friends wanting to see him without giving him a minute to himself. But i dont know if our SO's realize how those statements can hurt our feelings. I dont think they want to be away from us, i just think its more of them wanting to get their work done. :-) Hope your feeling better. God Bless, :-) Tiff __________________ "Would you be my valentine everyday of the year?" "When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!"-My SO

05-06-2009, 07:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
AFgf Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 672 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 14%	not to be completley negative..and my situation was different, but i was jealous of all the girls who got to be with their bf's on the weekends etc, but DB was always worth the wait. i put in so much effort and time, but then a week before he came home, he dumped me.....so not saying he's going to do that to you at all....but thats what happened to me...but if you think he is worth the wait, then wait. Cause if you give up cause of the distance, you'll always wonder "what could have been" ya know... __________________ "For worse or for better, we're better together"

05-06-2009, 10:20 PM	#7 (permalink)
LibraryBritt Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Fontana, Ca he's somewhere in UAE Posts: 659 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 25% Longevity: 9%	I know how you feel.... All the other teachers at my school are either getting pregnant, married, or engaged. So day in day out I listen to their stories of engagement pics, doc appointments, bridal showers, the sweet thing he did for her this morning... It drives my insane! Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but there's always the little monster of jealousy sitting on my shoulder. And then when (if ever) then ask me about DB, it seems that they only ask out of politeness..... I don't live in a military community, none of my friends are in a LDR...I have no one to talk to! It was already tough me being in so cal, him stationed in alaska, but now he's deployed until the end of the year. I love him with all my heart, but every day it feels even harder to do..... __________________

05-06-2009, 11:00 PM	#8 (permalink)
chriswifey Missing my heart Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,652 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 51% Longevity: 14%	I understand how you feel. Being a military SO is hard. Lets face it, they will be away from us at some point for long periods of times. There will always be something that "comes up" and there is no certainty BUT when its all said and done and you see him/her for that first time, Its all worth it. I don't get jealous of other people, sometimes it bothers me that some people are insensitive about my situation. They will say, "I dunno how you do it." or " I couldn't be a military wife" But to me their are no other options. Their is no one in this whole world who I can ever imagine loving like I love DH. I know you feel the same way and sometimes you just have to remember that yes this sucks but it won't be forever and like you said he's worth the wait. __________________ All at once I had it all but it doesn’t mean anything  now that your gone.

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05-06-2009, 06:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
~~hesmyarmyman~~ Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 3,170 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 14%	I know how your feeling. I honestly hate the distance. And I sometimes don't feel like I can take it anymore. I don't get jealous. But I do know how you feel. I wake up some mornings just absolutely ready to kidnap him. I hate the distance with a fiery passion.

05-06-2009, 06:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
RainierLT87 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Me: Cleveland, OH Posts: 160 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 2% Longevity: 10%	I can relate, right now DB is at training and we can't even talk! Talk about going nuts! Plus its always an LDR with us, and living on a college campus..that "love" is all around. I can't even walk to a class with out seeing happy couples. Yea it bothers me somedays, but then again I realize that my love is being tested, and I know its true, and LDR has given me somethings I wouldn't have gotten had I been like everyone else. It IS hard, but just think of what you have learned, and your not alone, even when it might seem like it. As I tell my friends, being the third wheel around here gets old, but when you have an SO out there some where being the third wheel is torture! Stay strong, I always say LDR's are kind of a mental game...its not for the weak thats for sure!

05-06-2009, 06:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
CY84 Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Lancaster, PA Posts: 77 Blog Entries: 3 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 10%	I know exactly how you feel. I feel jealous...I hate it! I wish I could see my DB every day. And while my heart is in it too, sometimes the lonliness really gets to me.

05-07-2009, 01:52 AM	#9 (permalink)
lavender_jane MilitarySOS Jewel Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 671 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 46% Longevity: 9%	It bothers me a lot too that DB never knows where/when he'll be moving around. The uncertainty is really hard. When I'm expecting to see him soon and all of sudden everything changes it's disappointing and frustrating for me. And when he chooses to take an assignment that moves him or keeps him away longer... well, it's hard to NOT take it personally. At the end of the day I know it's just the nature of his job and he loves and misses me when he's gone. I don't think I get jealous too often but when I see my coupled up friends fighting over stupid things I get annoyed. Time together is precious!!

05-07-2009, 02:18 AM	#10 (permalink)
Zoe MilitarySOS Jewel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: London, England Posts: 9,893 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 46% Longevity: 28%	oh honey! this is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO normal! i lost it last weekeng cause it was a bank holiday and the dun was out - i swear i nearly punched every loved up couple heading off for a bbq, a dinner date or a picnic!! honey you are allowed to hate the LDR!!! I 'll be honest ive never questioned my love for Ryan but i do question the LDR and the army! stay strong honey - his not wanting to come home is not to do with you! its to do with him being a practical male wanting to earn more money and feeling like he signed up for something and he wants to see it through!!! stay strong and my PM box is always open!