New and wondering...

[lavender_jane]

I'm new to this site and new to dating (and loving ) an air force guy too...

Right now he's only a few hours away and we manage to see each other every couple of weeks for a couple hours or maybe a day. I know it could be much worse but I'm having a hard time adjusting. I think the fact that it's already hard and he's still close by scares me.

He's definitely worth sticking it out for... I'm still afraid of the hardships we'll go through and I don't know how to talk to him about it or even if I should because I don't want to worry him or make him feel bad.

Do you guys discuss your feelings about the distance and limited communication with your guys? How?

[Am]

Communication about anything you're feeling in a relationship is a necessity. Just tell him what you're feeling. He might be feeling it too.

[Sparks24]

I think it is very important to talk about all your fears now..because there will probably come a time when he his more than a few hours away. My husband is getting ready for deployment #2 and we were talking about how we can communicate so that when he leaves we kinda have a plan.

[RainierLT87]

DB always wants me to let him know when I am stressed about the distance or some drama the Army is causing in our relationship...we both talk about it...holding it in only makes it worse. I know he does all he can do..and I do the same thing...so we know we can't try any harder. Eventually you will settle in a pattern. DB and I have always had the distance (which has been always West to East coast), so no seeing each other alot, but when we first started dating he had to go into the field for a alittle over a week, and no communication was allowed...so here I was missing him from him visiting and now he was gone...completely. LDR's are always made of thouse ups and downs...bu the ups make the downs bearable. Just have faith in each other, and commicate all you can when you have the chances. If he's worth the waiting, trust me you will be able to do it. This LDR has taught me how big my heart really is, when you don't think you can do it, your heart expands, and you make it through .

[MsBrianna]

You definitely need to talk to him about how you feel. I have learned that you always need to communicate your feelings. The other night I was really sad and down because I know that my time with DB is coming to an end and I told him how I felt and he was feeling it too and we talked about it. So, I think it's very important for you to communicate your feelings to him.

[sweetgagirl]

He wants to know how you are feeling. Even though he may not show it, its still important. You said he is worth sticking it out for, so go with that. You have to show yourself that you are strong and that no distance is too far. Its early in your relationship so you haven't necessarily aquired the daily touch and feel of each other. Those are the moments that last and make you fight for everything. My PM box is always open if you want to talk. Take care and stay strong

[Zoe]

Originally Posted by CarolinaHokie Communication about anything you're feeling in a relationship is a necessity. Just tell him what you're feeling. He might be feeling it too.

couldnt agree more!!!!!! its good communication that has kept us going for 2 yrs and 4 moths so far!!!

[Fidzy]

It's important to voice your doubts and concerns. It will probably lead to a very productive conversation on how you can overcome them as a couple.

[beloved]

How? That's a good question. It's different for everyone of course, but for me it's best to talk it over with my girl friends first, then just say it.

Although I have learned from experience that it's best to be calm for those important discussions!

[OneIllWife]

Originally Posted by sweetgagirl He wants to know how you are feeling. Even though he may not show it, its still important. You said he is worth sticking it out for, so go with that. You have to show yourself that you are strong and that no distance is too far. Its early in your relationship so you haven't necessarily aquired the daily touch and feel of each other. Those are the moments that last and make you fight for everything. My PM box is always open if you want to talk. Take care and stay strong

I agree. DH and I are now going through Deployment #2. During the first, we were engaged. Granted we weren't the best at it, but we have VASTLY improved with the time. You'll find that communication is quite possibly the single most important component in your relationship. Other things are important, but communication in an LDR facilitates the rest. SO, you need to tell him what you're thinking and feeling. Don't sound hurt or confrontational. Just let him know that you care about him, that you want to be with him, and that since you do have a few concerns you'd like to address them so that the two of you can move forward together. Make sense? If you don't address it now, it will continue to just bother you and become a bigger issue than it needs to be.

On the same token...I will say, don't stress too much over the little things. The two of you care about each other. That's important. Pick your battles, so to speak...Like...I don't fight with DH over what to have for lunch when he's on R&R (see what I mean by "picking battles?")...This is where your communication skills help other stuff...i.e. compromise. Sometimes you just have to bend.

I'm not going to go on...There is a lot that you just learn by going through it. It's really not as bad as it seems. You learn and grow a lot as a couple. I've done so personally from what I've gone through with DH. If you need to talk, just PM. AIM is also in my profile.