i feel like im a better long distance girlfriend - Long Distance Love

guard_sweetie · 04-29-2009, 08:15 PM

i dont really know how to explain it. i just feel like im such a better, loving, and great girlfriend when me and my SO are apart. i feel like we get along better. he has only been back for a week and we have already gotten into 2 fights. i dont know where the frustration comes from. i think i just want him around all the time when he is here, and i find it hard to go about my normal life when hes like half an hour away.... today he texted me and told me he doesnt like the way things are going between us, but doesnt know what to do about it. HELP PLEASE!

BJo · 04-29-2009, 08:22 PM

I understand. I went through the same thing when DH was deployed then in training for months and then deployment again. I felt like I was better at it all when he was away.

It just takes some getting used to. Just like how you get used to them being away. kwim?

RainierLT87 · 04-29-2009, 08:27 PM

Your probably both stressing out. I know the distance is hard, but when DB's around after a long spell of being apart, we are together all the time. But a heathly relationship needs to have times were you both spend time doing something apart. Like for me, I love DB to come watch me ride my horse, but only once in a while other times I like to go alone, just to have time to myself. Being in an LDR, I find its very much a mental game when they are gone. Just have patience with each other and talk through how you feel...try not to spend hours and hours together...I know we all want to cuase we don't get time with them all the time, but we are humans and we need alone time, even if its just for a bit. Hope that helps and isn't way off the mark...just some things I have observed and expereinced.

mushortgurl03 · 04-29-2009, 08:28 PM

I'm sorry sweetie!

I wish I had advice but I'm the absolute polar opposite of you. This LDR has officially strained my relationship with my DH. I know it's because we're both more physical creatures. When we're together, there are rarely any fights. But apart? HA...we fight almost on a daily basis. Though when really apart (like when he was in BMT) those phone calls and letters were cherished on both parts. again...here are some

.

claravoyant1126 · 05-04-2009, 03:27 AM

when he got back from his first deployment in january we both expected things to be back to the way they were before he had left, but it simply wasn't like that at all. we both felt like we had to make up for lost time so we spent every free moment with each other. we ended up butting heads

alot and it ended up denting the relationship. we both realized this and understood the reasons and factors behind why we were acting this way, so we talked it out, just laid it on the table. understanding and accepting that things aren't going to be the same as we had left it, that relationships aren't always going to be perfect and that its a learning process helped us get through that hurdle in our relationship. we also realized that we needed time apart from each other and do things for and by ourselves as much as we felt like we needed to make up for lost time. its important to give each other space (and i totally understand you on this one cuz i have a hard time with it too

) we both look back now and see it as a learning experience. the key is to not give up and pull the break up card when things aren't working out like you had imagined in your head. all relationships require constant work and it's a constant learning process as well

04-29-2009, 08:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
guard_sweetie Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 135 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 12% Longevity: 16%	i feel like im a better long distance girlfriend i dont really know how to explain it. i just feel like im such a better, loving, and great girlfriend when me and my SO are apart. i feel like we get along better. he has only been back for a week and we have already gotten into 2 fights. i dont know where the frustration comes from. i think i just want him around all the time when he is here, and i find it hard to go about my normal life when hes like half an hour away.... today he texted me and told me he doesnt like the way things are going between us, but doesnt know what to do about it. HELP PLEASE! __________________ And he said "Cherie, Je t'aime. I hope you never forget or question that. . ."

04-29-2009, 08:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
mushortgurl03 Triple Threat Woman: Intelligent, Driven, & Successful Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Callaway FL- Tyndall AFB Posts: 4,424 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 39% Longevity: 22%	I'm sorry sweetie! I wish I had advice but I'm the absolute polar opposite of you. This LDR has officially strained my relationship with my DH. I know it's because we're both more physical creatures. When we're together, there are rarely any fights. But apart? HA...we fight almost on a daily basis. Though when really apart (like when he was in BMT) those phone calls and letters were cherished on both parts. again...here are some . __________________ Wifey to NickelKnack, Jumpin Jollyfish, Sweetvanity and Meghan FINALLY! My wifey's for LIFE! Yes I AM a PURE ROMANCE Consultant!

About Us

MilitarySOS Shortcuts

MilitarySOS Help

About MilitarySOS

04-29-2009, 08:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
BJo Account Closed Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Your mom Posts: 25,363 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 12% Longevity: 39%	I understand. I went through the same thing when DH was deployed then in training for months and then deployment again. I felt like I was better at it all when he was away. It just takes some getting used to. Just like how you get used to them being away. kwim?

04-29-2009, 08:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
RainierLT87 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Me: Cleveland, OH Posts: 160 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 2% Longevity: 10%	Your probably both stressing out. I know the distance is hard, but when DB's around after a long spell of being apart, we are together all the time. But a heathly relationship needs to have times were you both spend time doing something apart. Like for me, I love DB to come watch me ride my horse, but only once in a while other times I like to go alone, just to have time to myself. Being in an LDR, I find its very much a mental game when they are gone. Just have patience with each other and talk through how you feel...try not to spend hours and hours together...I know we all want to cuase we don't get time with them all the time, but we are humans and we need alone time, even if its just for a bit. Hope that helps and isn't way off the mark...just some things I have observed and expereinced.

05-04-2009, 03:27 AM	#5 (permalink)
claravoyant1126 Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Me: La Jolla, CA. Him: Camp Pendleton, CA Posts: 35 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 9%	when he got back from his first deployment in january we both expected things to be back to the way they were before he had left, but it simply wasn't like that at all. we both felt like we had to make up for lost time so we spent every free moment with each other. we ended up butting heads alot and it ended up denting the relationship. we both realized this and understood the reasons and factors behind why we were acting this way, so we talked it out, just laid it on the table. understanding and accepting that things aren't going to be the same as we had left it, that relationships aren't always going to be perfect and that its a learning process helped us get through that hurdle in our relationship. we also realized that we needed time apart from each other and do things for and by ourselves as much as we felt like we needed to make up for lost time. its important to give each other space (and i totally understand you on this one cuz i have a hard time with it too ) we both look back now and see it as a learning experience. the key is to not give up and pull the break up card when things aren't working out like you had imagined in your head. all relationships require constant work and it's a constant learning process as well