not sure what to do... advise please - Long Distance Love

monica723 · 04-29-2009, 01:54 PM

so df is in ait right now and is completely hating it. i dont know what to do or say to him anymore. hes been having the worst luck since hes been there and it doesnt help that he has a bad temper. everything was starting to get better because he got his phone back like 2wks ago. well something happened today and i got a txt saying how much he hates it there, that hes ready to lose it and he doesnt care anymore and blah blah blah. so now idk what to do. how can i get him to calm down?

lildixiemiss · 04-29-2009, 02:25 PM

I think a lot of them start out like this in basic . They will like it one day and the next day hate it. Just talk to him. He's got to realize that he'll just have to bunker down and do it. You know him best just tell him your there to listen.

Amanda. · 04-29-2009, 02:28 PM

my husband hated the army when he first started, and now he always is saying how much he loves his job. he might have a problem with "rebellion" and might not like being told what to do. but, hes gotta get over it, or hes gonna have alot of bad counseling statements.

jasonsangel · 04-29-2009, 02:28 PM

Just be there for him. Listen to him vent.

Kacy · 04-29-2009, 02:29 PM

He's probably experiencing an emotional rollercoaster right now. I'm sure he has good and bad days, but you only hear about the bad ones. I'm sorry he's upset.

hgrace · 04-29-2009, 04:02 PM

Just be an encouragement. DF still doesn't like the army, but he's gotten a lot better because I just let him vent to me and get it out of his system. Just let him know you're here to listen and you love him.

GatesGirl · 04-29-2009, 04:19 PM

keep encouraging him and supporting him. keep being the person he can vent to.

wewerentcrazy · 04-29-2009, 04:54 PM

let him vent, all they need is someone saying "yes, umm-huh, you're right" dont get frustrated when talking to him, they'll sense it. just remind him of the great service he's doing for everyone and how much its going to help others. let him know that is wasnt a bad decision that he made but the best one in his life. i told DB and it got him through. much luck

imasoldierslove · 04-29-2009, 06:19 PM

ait can be very hard i know that my dh had a lot of really difficult moments where he was feeling angry, depressed, and just wishing it would end or that he could leave.. he will have to learn how to control his temper and they will be teaching him this skill like it not.. in the mean time encourage him to tell you what are the things that are upsetting him and let him vent so he can get it off his chest.. tell him that its always ok for him to tell you how he feels that you will support him and try your best to understand... afterwards always remind him of why he is there to begin with and that it wont be that much longer until he is done there and will never see those ppl again... of course tell him how much you love him and that you are proud of him for pushing through even when he feels like giving up.

monica723 · 04-29-2009, 10:40 PM

thanks so much for the advice! i will keep all of that in mind.

04-29-2009, 01:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
monica723 live as if it is heaven on earth Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: ft. bliss Posts: 35 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 10%	not sure what to do... advise please so df is in ait right now and is completely hating it. i dont know what to do or say to him anymore. hes been having the worst luck since hes been there and it doesnt help that he has a bad temper. everything was starting to get better because he got his phone back like 2wks ago. well something happened today and i got a txt saying how much he hates it there, that hes ready to lose it and he doesnt care anymore and blah blah blah. so now idk what to do. how can i get him to calm down? __________________ dh- "i realise why im so depressed here. i have an empty spot because you complete me!"

04-29-2009, 02:25 PM	#2 (permalink)
lildixiemiss I'm Amy nice to meet you! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: norfolk/ VA Posts: 4,390 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 33% Longevity: 20%	I think a lot of them start out like this in basic . They will like it one day and the next day hate it. Just talk to him. He's got to realize that he'll just have to bunker down and do it. You know him best just tell him your there to listen. __________________ HE"S HOME!!!! Let me light up the sky light it up for you let me make you smile i'll ignite for you I w/my wives: Kayla, Rei, Onewife, blinkyboobear,louisa ,redhead_navygf ,His Girl ,ashely, Sapphiremommey and lovemyjarhead!!.

04-29-2009, 02:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
jasonsangel missing my marine Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Arizona/North Carolina Posts: 1,293 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (2) Activity: 18% Longevity: 11%	Just be there for him. Listen to him vent. __________________ Wifey to timsgurl1776, USAFwife1, army_wife04, and MelanieNicole TayreehBaykur's Cupcake Newly single and ready to enjoy LIFE

04-29-2009, 02:29 PM	#5 (permalink)
Kacy LovinMyLieutenant Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Ft. Wainwright, AK Posts: 1,862 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 61% Longevity: 15%	He's probably experiencing an emotional rollercoaster right now. I'm sure he has good and bad days, but you only hear about the bad ones. I'm sorry he's upset. __________________ DB: "Now the question is what are you gonna do with an army guy who's not very good at communicating, stinks, steals the covers, can be incredibly jealous, is very stubborn, cusses and drinks too much and occasionally smokes? You've got your hands full, Kace. You're a good woman."

04-29-2009, 04:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
hgrace Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Lake City, Colorado (although home is Mississippi) Posts: 1,505 Blog Entries: 2 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 22%	Just be an encouragement. DF still doesn't like the army, but he's gotten a lot better because I just let him vent to me and get it out of his system. Just let him know you're here to listen and you love him. __________________ what a day to visit seattle, what a day for san francisco. what a day, holy toledo! what a day to get in the air and go. what a day to give up smoking, what day to absorb jim beam and what a day to welcome a baby to begin breathing. ~ greg laswell

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04-29-2009, 02:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
Amanda. Account Closed Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Fort Benning, GA Posts: 6,685 Blog Entries: 23 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 40% Longevity: 31%	my husband hated the army when he first started, and now he always is saying how much he loves his job. he might have a problem with "rebellion" and might not like being told what to do. but, hes gotta get over it, or hes gonna have alot of bad counseling statements.

04-29-2009, 04:19 PM	#7 (permalink)
GatesGirl I'm Forever Yours, Faithfully Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: ME: Bellingham, WA, HIM: Spangdahlem AB, Germany Posts: 4,627 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 80% Longevity: 17%	keep encouraging him and supporting him. keep being the person he can vent to. __________________ My is in Germany Wifey to Britt Shea, Ana1221, and Airforcegirl87

04-29-2009, 04:54 PM	#8 (permalink)
wewerentcrazy Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 69 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 10%	let him vent, all they need is someone saying "yes, umm-huh, you're right" dont get frustrated when talking to him, they'll sense it. just remind him of the great service he's doing for everyone and how much its going to help others. let him know that is wasnt a bad decision that he made but the best one in his life. i told DB and it got him through. much luck __________________ If I could have kissed him every time that I missed him...I wouldn't be out the door <3

04-29-2009, 06:19 PM	#9 (permalink)
imasoldierslove Mrs. Powell Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Ft. Campbell KY Posts: 414 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 17%	ait can be very hard i know that my dh had a lot of really difficult moments where he was feeling angry, depressed, and just wishing it would end or that he could leave.. he will have to learn how to control his temper and they will be teaching him this skill like it not.. in the mean time encourage him to tell you what are the things that are upsetting him and let him vent so he can get it off his chest.. tell him that its always ok for him to tell you how he feels that you will support him and try your best to understand... afterwards always remind him of why he is there to begin with and that it wont be that much longer until he is done there and will never see those ppl again... of course tell him how much you love him and that you are proud of him for pushing through even when he feels like giving up. __________________ i love my hunni bunni

04-29-2009, 10:40 PM	#10 (permalink)
monica723 live as if it is heaven on earth Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: ft. bliss Posts: 35 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 10%	thanks so much for the advice! i will keep all of that in mind. __________________ dh- "i realise why im so depressed here. i have an empty spot because you complete me!"