Just out of curiosity - Long Distance Love

sosojenn · 04-27-2009, 01:10 PM

Not meant to upset anyone...BUT I'm just very curious.
For those of you that are enduring long long separation time...like 2+ years, what exactly is it that is preventing you from getting married and just going with him (wherever he happens to be at)....unless of course he's going to the middle east...but I mean if he's stationed somewhere else....why don't you go with him?

I couldn't bare to be away for that long, I would pack up all my things and follow him to the ends of the earth. But then again I'm not a very patient person. It's hard enough being away from him for a year.

Ya'll are so strong

mdrew4 · 04-27-2009, 01:14 PM

Well I'm personally not in a place where I feel I'm ready to get married. I'm going to school, not working. I want to marry DB in the future, but getting married just to get the distance thing over with isn't my style. And neither is a super long engagement

I guess it's just the way I want it to happen for me.

navygirl8407 · 04-27-2009, 01:15 PM

Well....I was going to stay in the University where I am at and finish my education..but 3 years was way too long for me and I wanted to get married and start a family..and still do my education.

sparkysgirl · 04-27-2009, 01:50 PM

I need to finish school. My degree isn't offered in many places. I would love to just leave and go with DF, but I would regret it later and he told me that I'm not allowed to leave school without my degree unless it is something I truly truly, wanted. We've said from the beginning of our relationship that "I have to do what I have to do, You have to do what you have to do, and then we can do what we have to do".

We both want to be together, but understand that we need to finish this part of our lives first.

txgirl06 · 04-27-2009, 01:59 PM

I still have 2 years left of college, and have my own career and life to think about. I couldn't handle living on a base, in a state or city that I have no desire to be in. I couldn't give up everything I am working so hard to accomplish to "follow him".I honestly love that right now we are able to live our own lives, have our own adventures, and still have such a good relationship. Its just not the right time for us, and once he is out of the army, he will move to where I am and we will start our life together as a couple.

Kitten35 · 04-27-2009, 02:00 PM

I'm with the OP, I never dated anyone longer than about six months until DH because if it's not headed toward marriage and a commitment, I wanted nothing to do with that. But if you know it's the right person, then longer is okay IMO until the time is right for you.

~Laura~ · 04-27-2009, 02:10 PM

OP - if you had asked me this 9 months ago I would agree with you 100%. I couldnt imagine being apart for that long, but now that I am in that situation I have a different perspective. We didnt start dating until a month before his deployment - no sense in moving then. And when he gets back to the states he has less than a year left AD and has always planned on coming back east. With my career right now it does not make sense for me to move and come right back. Fortunately we will be able to see each other often and we have maintained our friendship for 6 years apart, Im confident we can make it another year apart while in a relationship.

If something changes with my career or his decision not to reenlist then our plans are alwys subject to change, but for now this works. I love him and couldn't spend my life with anyone else so if it means waiting, then I wait.

Melanie. · 04-27-2009, 02:31 PM

I am enduring the LDR because I have to finish school. (We both do, it's the same reasons on both sides) Completing school is not only an investement in myself to make me happier in my career later in life - but also an investment in OUR futures. Me completing school where I am and not postponing it even more than I already have (through actions prior to us getting together) means that we can be together sooner, secure sooner and have the best opportunity for a happy life together in the future. It sucks and I want nothing more than to be there with him but I HAVE to think of the future and not the NOW.

GatesGirl · 04-27-2009, 02:51 PM

College. DF is going to Germany. Graduating high school in a month. Luckily I did college in high school, so I only have two more years left. That, and my parents would kill me.

Zoe · 04-27-2009, 02:53 PM

ahhhhhhhhh where to begin ....

when we met he lived in NC and i lived in NY so for the first 6 months we would see each other once a month - then he got a month leave so he moved in with me in NY - during that time we discussed our future, we knew this was a one time thing so decided to give us a real go - well then he found out he was being sent to Germany !

after much discussion i decided to head back to London so at least we would both be in Europe and i could go see him regularly.

well he gets to germany and found out his unit were in Iraq so he went to Iraq for a year and got back in Nov! we got engaged and are getting married in 2 months and i did finally plan on joining him after the wedding ...

BUT 2 of my work colleagues are leaving and there is room for promotion and a really good opportunity for my career so we decided i needed to do this!

so as of now im not joining him cause my career needs to take precedent and if i do this here in London now - it means i can walk in to a directors position when we head back to the states!

04-27-2009, 01:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
sosojenn MilitarySOS Jewel Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Virginia Posts: 79 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 16%	Just out of curiosity Not meant to upset anyone...BUT I'm just very curious. For those of you that are enduring long long separation time...like 2+ years, what exactly is it that is preventing you from getting married and just going with him (wherever he happens to be at)....unless of course he's going to the middle east...but I mean if he's stationed somewhere else....why don't you go with him? I couldn't bare to be away for that long, I would pack up all my things and follow him to the ends of the earth. But then again I'm not a very patient person. It's hard enough being away from him for a year. Ya'll are so strong __________________ Proud Army Wife Loving my daughter & 2 step daughters Expecting our first September 28th

04-27-2009, 01:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
mdrew4 I'm his biscuit Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: SF Bay Area, CA (me) BAMC (him) Posts: 2,361 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 28% Longevity: 16%	Well I'm personally not in a place where I feel I'm ready to get married. I'm going to school, not working. I want to marry DB in the future, but getting married just to get the distance thing over with isn't my style. And neither is a super long engagement I guess it's just the way I want it to happen for me. __________________

04-27-2009, 01:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
navygirl8407 "There will be an answer--let it be." Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: us-Guam Posts: 3,948 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 68% Longevity: 19%	Well....I was going to stay in the University where I am at and finish my education..but 3 years was way too long for me and I wanted to get married and start a family..and still do my education. __________________

04-27-2009, 01:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
sparkysgirl Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Me-Pittsburgh/Him-Fort Drum Posts: 725 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 39% Longevity: 29%	I need to finish school. My degree isn't offered in many places. I would love to just leave and go with DF, but I would regret it later and he told me that I'm not allowed to leave school without my degree unless it is something I truly truly, wanted. We've said from the beginning of our relationship that "I have to do what I have to do, You have to do what you have to do, and then we can do what we have to do". We both want to be together, but understand that we need to finish this part of our lives first. __________________

04-27-2009, 01:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
txgirl06 Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Austin, Texas Posts: 561 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 6% Longevity: 13%	I still have 2 years left of college, and have my own career and life to think about. I couldn't handle living on a base, in a state or city that I have no desire to be in. I couldn't give up everything I am working so hard to accomplish to "follow him".I honestly love that right now we are able to live our own lives, have our own adventures, and still have such a good relationship. Its just not the right time for us, and once he is out of the army, he will move to where I am and we will start our life together as a couple. __________________ "I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love, and I can't let you go."

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04-27-2009, 02:00 PM	#6 (permalink)
Kitten35 Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 1,096 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 25% Longevity: 20%	I'm with the OP, I never dated anyone longer than about six months until DH because if it's not headed toward marriage and a commitment, I wanted nothing to do with that. But if you know it's the right person, then longer is okay IMO until the time is right for you.

04-27-2009, 02:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
~Laura~ Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 2,887 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 23% Longevity: 20%	OP - if you had asked me this 9 months ago I would agree with you 100%. I couldnt imagine being apart for that long, but now that I am in that situation I have a different perspective. We didnt start dating until a month before his deployment - no sense in moving then. And when he gets back to the states he has less than a year left AD and has always planned on coming back east. With my career right now it does not make sense for me to move and come right back. Fortunately we will be able to see each other often and we have maintained our friendship for 6 years apart, Im confident we can make it another year apart while in a relationship. If something changes with my career or his decision not to reenlist then our plans are alwys subject to change, but for now this works. I love him and couldn't spend my life with anyone else so if it means waiting, then I wait. __________________

04-27-2009, 02:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
Melanie. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret... Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: ME: Tampa, FL HIM: Iowa Posts: 4,385 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 98% Longevity: 13%	I am enduring the LDR because I have to finish school. (We both do, it's the same reasons on both sides) Completing school is not only an investement in myself to make me happier in my career later in life - but also an investment in OUR futures. Me completing school where I am and not postponing it even more than I already have (through actions prior to us getting together) means that we can be together sooner, secure sooner and have the best opportunity for a happy life together in the future. It sucks and I want nothing more than to be there with him but I HAVE to think of the future and not the NOW. __________________ Wifey to Jen0201, ~KittyKat~, navygirl8407, jasonsangel & KennyB

04-27-2009, 02:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
GatesGirl I'm Forever Yours, Faithfully Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: ME: Bellingham, WA, HIM: Spangdahlem AB, Germany Posts: 4,614 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 83% Longevity: 17%	College. DF is going to Germany. Graduating high school in a month. Luckily I did college in high school, so I only have two more years left. That, and my parents would kill me. __________________ My is in Germany Wifey to Britt Shea, Ana1221, and Airforcegirl87

04-27-2009, 02:53 PM	#10 (permalink)
Zoe MilitarySOS Jewel Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: London, England Posts: 9,893 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 44% Longevity: 28%	ahhhhhhhhh where to begin .... when we met he lived in NC and i lived in NY so for the first 6 months we would see each other once a month - then he got a month leave so he moved in with me in NY - during that time we discussed our future, we knew this was a one time thing so decided to give us a real go - well then he found out he was being sent to Germany ! after much discussion i decided to head back to London so at least we would both be in Europe and i could go see him regularly. well he gets to germany and found out his unit were in Iraq so he went to Iraq for a year and got back in Nov! we got engaged and are getting married in 2 months and i did finally plan on joining him after the wedding ... BUT 2 of my work colleagues are leaving and there is room for promotion and a really good opportunity for my career so we decided i needed to do this! so as of now im not joining him cause my career needs to take precedent and if i do this here in London now - it means i can walk in to a directors position when we head back to the states!