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Thread: Moving to a base out of state

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    I disagree because she's the only one having to sacrifice anything in this instance. You can love somebody plenty but if your circumstances aren't compatible, it's only going to strain the relationship and build resentment. I know he's not choosing his orders or anything but she's clearly the one at a massive disadvantage here having to pause her education and move somewhere she's never wanted to go. What sacrifice is he making? What sacrifice is he ever gonna make for her that'll be comparable to a 20 year old dropping out of college and moving across the country for him?
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post


    I was 18 when DH joined and 19 when we were married so know what OPs in for if she marries. Love is important of course but it takes maturity, independence, experience, patience, etc. At that age, you're still figuring out who you are. Trying to figure it out when you're thousands of miles from home, without a job or school (since it's not always easy finding one right away), you've never been on your own... It's hard. You might love someone all you want but sometimes the circumstances aren't right, and the love starts slowly getting chipped away.
    I agree with these. Right now you're not willing to move out of Texas, but maybe in a few years when your education is finished your feelings will change. If I were in your shoes I'd try LDR if a future is really what you want. Then again, since you're asking a board full of strangers if you should end your relationship you might just be seeking validation that it's okay, and it totally is. I would suggest you start making your decisions by really thinking about what it is that you want.
  2. Fresh Newbie
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    #12
    Thank you for your reply I appreciate it very much. We are going to try LDR and hopefully it works and if not then I believe that's the answer I've been looking for ...
  3. Senior Member
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    #13
    I literally did that. Except it was moving from Texas to Germany, instead of Tennessee. Took me 5 1/2 years to get my degree. Here's the thing, I've done some really awesome amazing things. I traveled Europe (and lots of other places actually) I was able to get my master's in only a year and half because I didn't have to worry about working, I'm in law school without worrying about where I'm going to live. I don't think I'd change what I did because I learned a lot about myself, and my husband, and what I really wanted out of life (definitely to not be a stay at home army wife with a bunch of kids)

    But I still wouldn't suggest in to anyone. Marriage is hard and it's even harder when you're young and trying to figure out who are you. I've gotten lucky that as I've grown my plans and life goals still mesh with my husband's. A lot of people who get married young grow apart. We also hadn't been together long so that made it even harder on top of that.

    Most people here will tell you not to do it. But, we honestly can't tell you what you should do. I was 19, you're only 20. You've got so much time to figure things out, to find out if he's the one, and to follow him around the globe if you so decide. I might not wish I did things differently, but it's ONLY because of where I've ended up. It could have easily been a fucking dumpster fire, and very nearly almost was. Life is short, so you should take risks and do what makes you happy. Just be willing to live with the consequences of a poor choice.


  4. Fresh Newbie
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    #14
    You were 19 when you left to Germany with him? Wow that's amazing and wonderful that everything worked out! ☺️
  5. I've got 32 flavors of that bootylicious bubblegum.
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    #15
    Quote Originally Posted by bdizzle View Post
    I literally did that. Except it was moving from Texas to Germany, instead of Tennessee. Took me 5 1/2 years to get my degree. Here's the thing, I've done some really awesome amazing things. I traveled Europe (and lots of other places actually) I was able to get my master's in only a year and half because I didn't have to worry about working, I'm in law school without worrying about where I'm going to live. I don't think I'd change what I did because I learned a lot about myself, and my husband, and what I really wanted out of life (definitely to not be a stay at home army wife with a bunch of kids)

    But I still wouldn't suggest in to anyone. Marriage is hard and it's even harder when you're young and trying to figure out who are you. I've gotten lucky that as I've grown my plans and life goals still mesh with my husband's. A lot of people who get married young grow apart. We also hadn't been together long so that made it even harder on top of that.

    Most people here will tell you not to do it. But, we honestly can't tell you what you should do. I was 19, you're only 20. You've got so much time to figure things out, to find out if he's the one, and to follow him around the globe if you so decide. I might not wish I did things differently, but it's ONLY because of where I've ended up. It could have easily been a fucking dumpster fire, and very nearly almost was. Life is short, so you should take risks and do what makes you happy. Just be willing to live with the consequences of a poor choice.
    This!


    life's a party, rock your body
  6. Senior Member
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    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Ylizette View Post
    You were 19 when you left to Germany with him? Wow that's amazing and wonderful that everything worked out! ☺️
    I was 20, we left for Germany about a year after we got married.


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