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Thread: Staying friends with Ex

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Staying friends with Ex

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    I wanted to know what you think i should do in my situation, its the exact opposite of alot of ppl here being that my Ex DG is in the Army and im a Civ. We broke up about 4 months ago but still stayed in contact, she recently left for her first duty station over seas in Korea and before that was here for leave. We hung out a lil and its pretty clear that their are feelings still there on both sides. Shes told me that she is not interested in meeting somebody while being there for her year and insists on us remaining in contact which obviously is doing a whole lot of things to my mind. We had an amicable break up realizing the timing was not right, I definitly want to be with her again one day, but im not putting my life on hold i start college in June and am trying to improve myself. So do you think remainig in contact is a good thing to do also eventhough i know none of you can read minds what would you assume her reasoning is for telling me she does not intend on meeting someone and insits on staying in touch.
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    I always advice AGAINST it, at least until each of you have dated at least one new person.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
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  3. Pour a little salt, we were never here
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    #3
    I think it's a nice thing to say, and some people probably mean it because while they don't want to date anymore they still like the person in general, but, I think it makes things harder to move on (often for just one person, which makes it really hard for both people).
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    Quote Originally Posted by [his] lobster View Post
    I think it's a nice thing to say, and some people probably mean it because while they don't want to date anymore they still like the person in general, but, I think it makes things harder to move on (often for just one person, which makes it really hard for both people).
    Yea thats probally true and i was kind of good until she came and visited and told me that and also the flirting trying to touch etc it kind of set me back a little bit. The hard thing is simply just losing all contact. Because she is my first "True" Gf and the first one i could really say i loved, its just hard especially because she was the first one ive ever opened up and showed emotion for which is hard for me to do but yea im just very conflicted right now. Anyway Thank you for your reply
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    #5
    Jlinsky, I am obviously a newbie too. My beloved BF deployed and he is everything I have ever wanted in a SO. I have been through 2 bad marriages and several bad relationships in between because I didn't want to be alone. Then, I spent 2 years alone and decided I wasn't going to look for anyone. I didn't and that's when I stumbled across my DB.
    I really think time heals all wounds... really. You may be young and not really know what you want. I think knowing yourself and what you need from a partner just comes from experience and maturity. Then again, some people are just in-tune and find the LOTL the first go! If you really feel like you have something to hang on to then do it. But if there is some doubt then let it go. Life is short and we get one chance. I believe if it is meant to be, the swirling, rugged, jagged, ever-changing path of life will lead you two back together somehow but I wouldn't stop living for something fickle.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Sk8r150 View Post
    Jlinsky, I am obviously a newbie too. My beloved BF deployed and he is everything I have ever wanted in a SO. I have been through 2 bad marriages and several bad relationships in between because I didn't want to be alone. Then, I spent 2 years alone and decided I wasn't going to look for anyone. I didn't and that's when I stumbled across my DB.
    I really think time heals all wounds... really. You may be young and not really know what you want. I think knowing yourself and what you need from a partner just comes from experience and maturity. Then again, some people are just in-tune and find the LOTL the first go! If you really feel like you have something to hang on to then do it. But if there is some doubt then let it go. Life is short and we get one chance. I believe if it is meant to be, the swirling, rugged, jagged, ever-changing path of life will lead you two back together somehow but I wouldn't stop living for something fickle.
    Wow thank you, you really have no idea how much that means to me, and how much thats helped me im not an emotional dude at all but this really got me in my feelings a lil bit lol again thank you very much to you and everyone that has answered and will. I truly dont have to many ppl i can really talk to about things like this so this has really helped.

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