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Thread: Update...just confused

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #1

    Update...just confused

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    I haven't been around here lately, just thought I'd throw up a quick update. So me and DB have decided to split We're not sure if its the right decision but it feels like the only option at this point in time. He's in Guam, and his schedule is just SO crazy, not to mention the time difference, we just have barely any time to even text. I'm pretty torn up about it. He would continue with the long distance thing if that what I wanted, but he's dying to have me move there. I just cant, before I met him I had JUST graduated with my Masters and I'm in a job now that I absolutely love that has so much potential for me to progress in...If Guam had any sort of job opportunities remotely close to my field, I would go in a heart beat! But, I know there is just nothing there for me. I guess I'm being selfish and choosing my job over him right now...but I've worked so hard for it and...UGH I just don't know. It seems I'm not happy with any of the options.

    Anyways, this is really just a vent, but any *kind* advice is welcome too.
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    #2
    I have no advice for you other than you need to do what makes you happy. I'm sorry that your relationship is ending but it seems like you're being smart and doing what's best for you.



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    #3
    You're not being selfish, you're being smart. You are absolutely doing the right thing, don't second guess yourself.
  4. we were all rooting for you
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    #4
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    I don't have any advice but if it were me I'd ask myself would I be happy in the relationship if I didn't have anything to do that I liked? Would he be happy as well in the relationship if I was unhappy for that reason? For some people work isn't that important except as an income, but I know for myself it's more than that.

  6. I'm not drunk, you're just blurry.
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    #6
    It sounds like you made the right decision for yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. I'm sorry that you're hurting though


  7. Senior Member
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    #7
    You have to do what's right for YOU. In the end, if you did relocate you might end up holding that against him unknowingly which could cause issues in the relationship. Sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing.
  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #8
    Thank you all <3 I know this is the right decision right now. It's just hard because its not like we broke up because we fought, or in anger. There is a lot of love but maybe just not enough, or maybe timing is just terrible. I know I can't stay in a relationship just to make him happy, but I'm a people pleaser. I just wish I could be strong enough to make him happy.

    I guess another question...Now that we are broken up, how should I handle communication? I would love more than anything to still keep in touch, and he says he wants to as well, but I think in the long run that will just end up hurting him more. How do I just cut ties with someone I still love and care about? Is any amount of communication responsible/doable?
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    #9


    Quote Originally Posted by CourtLove View Post
    Thank you all <3 I know this is the right decision right now. It's just hard because its not like we broke up because we fought, or in anger. There is a lot of love but maybe just not enough, or maybe timing is just terrible. I know I can't stay in a relationship just to make him happy, but I'm a people pleaser. I just wish I could be strong enough to make him happy.

    I guess another question...Now that we are broken up, how should I handle communication? I would love more than anything to still keep in touch, and he says he wants to as well, but I think in the long run that will just end up hurting him more. How do I just cut ties with someone I still love and care about? Is any amount of communication responsible/doable?
    I think in these cases it's best to give yourself a little time to heal and move on. How long that will take really depends on you and when you feel ready.




  10. Wine-o
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    #10
    Aw girl, I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds like you're making the best decision though. Who knows, maybe things will shake out in the end and it may work out later down the line.

    Regarding communication... my experience has been that I almost always have to cut ties. It just doesn't work out trying to be friends right away. I agree to just give it a little bit of time and see when you and him feel ready for a friendship. I actually have a college ex that I didn't talk to for years and now we're pretty decent friends.

    ~Becca~


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