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Thread: and after 2.5 yrs... it's over :/ but maybe for the better

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    #1

    and after 2.5 yrs... it's over :/ but maybe for the better

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    So, almost a month ago I wrote a post about how things where going badly in my relationship with my DB. Well, after almost 2.5 years together, he broke up with me last Tuesday.

    He started by saying that I knew we had to break up and somehow I knew it was gonna happen that day. He told me he hadnít been happy in a long time and that he didnít feel the same way about me anymore. That he had stayed all this time with me because he did care for me and that he knew he made me happy and that he was waiting if things would get better. But I know that they were just getting worse. He treated me badly, I was always to blame for everything, and he always told me I was the one who needed to change. And I always tried to defend myself but it had gotten to point where I believed everything he was saying.

    On top of that, his unit got the official orders the day before he broke it off that they are deploying in November and would get to Afghanistan by early next year. We have known for a while that he might be deploying. Now I kinda think that he had been thinking about breaking up but the fact that he is deploying clicked and led him to the decision to break up now. This is going to be his second deployment, he served in Iraq, but it would have been my first with him.

    I know he is a great guy, because he is, but he has a lot of things he has to work through because he never saw that he was wrong, he has always thought that everybody else is the problem and not him. But when we were talking I did tell him that the way he had been treating me was verbal abuse, and he at least admitted to it. He said that he knew he was wrong, that I didnít deserve for him to keep treating me that way.

    So I just wept with him. I knew at that point that I had done everything in my power for months but it had not been enough for him to feel happy with me. Part of me knew that it was not a healthy relationship, that it wasnít supposed to be like that but I never had the courage to break up. I love him to death and we were planning our future and all I wanted was to be with him. I just wish it hadnít had come to this. And sometimes I think maybe the time apart is gonna be good and in the long run who knows what might happen. But if he is this way now and he is leaving for a year to Afghanistan Iím not sure it would get better, not soon at least. He even said he is going to come back worse, that that happened when he came back from Iraq. So I wanna be there for him as a support while he is away but I feel I need to move on and not wait for what might happen.

    So itís been a week and Iím heartbroken and sad and every song reminds me of him and of everything so I canít help but cry but Iím surprised of how Iíve been handling all of this and how Iíve been able to keep myself together for the most part. I kinda just feel numb and like hollow in the pit of my stomach.

    The plan had been that we were gonna move next year after I finished my Masterís in December so now I just gotta get through the summer, then Iím just gonna focus on my last semester and finish and look for a better job and move and start over and itís gonna be for myself and that doesnít seem bad at all.

    Sorry for the long vent, but I needed it. Just need hugs and kind words.
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    #2
    I know how hard it can be to break up with someone you've been with for quite awhile. Just focus on yourself. You'll get through this
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    #3
    I'm sorry you're going through this It's gonna get better eventually
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    #4
    I'm sorry you're going through this but from the sounds of it you deserve much better than someone who blames you and puts you down
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    #5
    I'm sorry! It's hard when relationships end, but it really does sound like it's for the best and it sounds like you realize that. That's a good step in the right direction.
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    #6
    Remember time really does heal. Maybe not everything, but it does get better! You're a smart smart girl, I can see you've already realized it's for the better so good for you! Hang in there girl, you'll find your one and only
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    #7
    Thank you so much girls! Is good to read your reassuring words!
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    #8

    ~Art Page~
    Germy = wifey
  9. The name says it all!
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    #9

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




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