Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: I'm a reformed post separation party/dating like crazy girl.

  1. in love.
    missaubrey's Avatar
    missaubrey is offline
    in love.
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    2,682
    #1

    Big Grin I'm a reformed post separation party/dating like crazy girl.

    Advertisements
    Some of you remember me [previously CSC6709], some may not. I haven't been on here in a while. I used to work 3rd shift full time so I was either sleeping or sleep walking! Now I work 1st so I can post more.

    BUT I wanted to share/vent/whatever about my life since I separated from DH. DH and I were together for almost 8 years, married for 5 this month. I was a stay at home mom to my 2 kids.

    We [well, mostly him] decided to part ways in April of 2013 and "officially" separated June 1st of last year. If you remember our situation, it was bound to happen eventually. After he told me this while he was still in Korea, I went a tad crazy. By crazy I mean WILD. I was like "Oh, well I'm over him anyways! I don't care about him anymore! blah blah blah!" I went on dating websites. Numerous dates with different guys. I went to the clubs and I was drinking my weekends away while the kids were at grandmas. I don't even LIKE DRINKING or CLUBS! : I hadn't went to a club since 18 and hated it back then too! I dated complete losers (of course, at the moment I did not think that way). I was in complete denial about not being hurt over our separation and met guy after guy after guy. My self esteem was shot. It was exactly almost 3 months of a big mess. After my heart was broken by a person I really started to like, not surprisingly, I became EXTREMELY depressed over that ON TOP OF the separation. I was crying every moment I was not doing anything. Could barely eat because it hit me that it was over between DH and I. I wanted my marriage back even though I knew it was over and was not good for me.

    You know how some people say "Focus on yourself and don't start dating so soon. You're still healing. Blah blah blitty blah?". Yeah. Completely true in my situation. I was too blind to see it back then though.

    I don't want to say exactly what caused me to change but it involved a nice so smart decision that completely made me realize I had to change or I was going down the wrong path...Once I got a full time job in July 2013, started doing things for myself spiritually and physically, everything became better. I moved into my own apartment. I started going to church (which I later became a member and I am very involved in activities there), I joined the Y. I spend every moment with the kids that I can. I haven't had a sip of alcohol since that wild period. Definitely NO DATING at all. No clubbing! I don't even know what I was THINKING going out with the men I did! I've had no desire to date anyone honestly.

    I also just completed a 13 week divorce recovery program at my church! I met some great people going through the same thing. Some situations were even worst than mine. Things are MUCH MUCH better now that I've focused on myself and such. I can't stress it enough how much. My 5 year anniversary just passed and he came here on a pass to get the car. I was extremely nervous about seeing him thinking old feelings would come back. They didn't. I wasn't sad on that day. I've slowly started to accept that things just aren't the same anymore. And I'm not the same.

    I won't go into detail with DH and the legal mess. He's trying to pull one over on me because he doesn't want to live in the barracks. And I KNOW what y'all would say regarding it so I won't bother. : But I'm all "lawyered" up and ready to file this June and move on with my life!

    And I can promise you, if and when I start dating again, my choice in men will be A WHOLE LOT better than a year ago. :

    Thanks for reading this. I don't tell many about that period last summer because I don't want anyone to judge me. But now I realized that after someone thanked me in my divorce support group for sharing my story because it may have saved someone from doing the same things I did, I feel like I may help someone going through the same thing.
    Last edited by missaubrey; 04-23-2014 at 01:55 PM. Reason: messed up on the dates!
    hi.
  2. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Ol' Grey Mare's Avatar
    Ol' Grey Mare is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    14,646
    #2
    Sounds like things are going great for you and you are on your way to the sunny side of the street
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Anthiea's Avatar
    Anthiea is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    5,774
    #3
    Good on you for getting back on track and focusing on you and your kids. Many well wishes to you .

    ~Art Page~
    Germy = wifey
  4. ♡1 Peter 4:8 ♡
    KaityBug's Avatar
    KaityBug is offline
    ♡1 Peter 4:8 ♡
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    10,894
    #4
    I've been there, too. Maybe not quite to that extent, but I'm so glad things are going well for you now! I hope everything continues looking up for you and your kids.
  5. in love.
    missaubrey's Avatar
    missaubrey is offline
    in love.
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    2,682
    #5
    Thanks guys.

    I'm hoping that once I file and it finalized that I can maintain the same mind set that I have now!
    I'm tired of talking negative about him. Though he is being a pain in the arse, it's only making me look extremely bitter and angry.

    I still have my moments though. Do you know how many times I had to rewrite this post! Baby steps! :
    hi.
  6. Senior Member
    Sara87's Avatar
    Sara87 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    1,513
    #6
    Glad you are doing a lot better. When my ex-DH pretty much gave up on our marriage, I was like well if he can sleep around so can I! So not proud of those couple months. We've been divorced for a few months now and I am a lot happier now than I think I ever was with him. And when I do date someone, I will never settle for anything less than I deserve. Again I hope things continue to go well for you.
  7. Senior Member
    Deifick's Avatar
    Deifick is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    1,262
    #7
    Good for you!!!
  8. Senior Member
    missinghim's Avatar
    missinghim is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    9,316
    #8
    It sounds like things are going great for you!
    Never do anything halfway unless you want to be half happy.

    Is this a dream? If it is, please don't wake me from this high. I'd become comfortably numb
    until you opened up my eyes to what it's like when everything is right...I can't believe you found me ♥
  9. Vandelay Industries
    augusta's Avatar
    augusta is offline
    Vandelay Industries
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    6000 miles apart
    Posts
    6,276
    #9
    Glad you are doing so well now!
  10. Senior Member
    Oh♥Merlot's Avatar
    Oh♥Merlot is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    5,516
    #10
    I am so glad that you found a good path of healing! I know the struggles that divorce brings - with the overwhelming emotions, and a sense of freedom. I am glad you're involved in church, and keeping yourself busy and happy.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •