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Thread: So heartbroken! Please Help!

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    #1

    So heartbroken! Please Help!

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    So my man and I are done or are we? Ill try to make a long story short cause I need some input and help before I literally go crazy! He went to TX in December on leave to spend Christmas with hes family and daughter. While he was gone we had some communication problems. I tried to talk to him over text about it but he just came saying he had a lot of drama a stress with hes ex wife. I tried to give him space and time but it was bothering me not hearing from him much while he was gone. He was texting me a lot right before he came back talking about how he missed me and was looking forward to seeing me when he got back home. The communication thing still was bad when he got home because he was sick with the flu. I wanted to go see him on a Monday after he had already been home a week to talk to him about some of the issues we had while he was gone. He said he would rather wait till the weekend when I was off work cause he was working late and I wouldn't be able to stay long (I live an hour and 15 min away from him on FT Bragg). SO I said okay. He didn't text me all week and when I finally text him about coming there over the weekend he was short with me and said he had a lot on hes plate and was super busy with paper work and such and may had a jump to do. He just got promoted to a E7 and started the new position when he returned from TX. He has not contacted me at all. I feel like I don't know what went wrong and if I should try to keep talking to him to find out what went wrong. He has not officially ended anything with me. I am so confused and heart broken I have literally been physically sick over this. I thought this was my soul mate and the man I was going to be with forever. I have written a letter saying how I feel about everything. I have thought of emailing it to him. Can anyone give me and suggestions on what to do??? I really cant take feeling so broken much longer. I reallllly care for this man and it sucks to lose him but I cant keep feeling like I do.
    He did tell me he thought I was been too needy and weak with the communication problem while he was gone. Maybe that scared him away??
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    #2
    So how long has it been since you've heard from him? That's not clear to me.

    If it's been a few days, I'd say you are being kind of clingy and need to back off a bit.

    If it's been more than that, then it sounds like he's ignoring you. And no one deserves to be with someone who ignores them. So move on and find someone who cherishes you and respects you enough not to just disappear on you.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #3
    You've contacted him several times. I would just let it be for now. He knows you want to talk, and see him. He knows how to contact you. Just let him come to you. I wouldn't email him at this point.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Hanners09 View Post
    So my man and I are done or are we? Ill try to make a long story short cause I need some input and help before I literally go crazy! He went to TX in December on leave to spend Christmas with hes family and daughter. While he was gone we had some communication problems. I tried to talk to him over text about it but he just came saying he had a lot of drama a stress with hes ex wife. I tried to give him space and time but it was bothering me not hearing from him much while he was gone. He was texting me a lot right before he came back talking about how he missed me and was looking forward to seeing me when he got back home. The communication thing still was bad when he got home because he was sick with the flu. I wanted to go see him on a Monday after he had already been home a week to talk to him about some of the issues we had while he was gone. He said he would rather wait till the weekend when I was off work cause he was working late and I wouldn't be able to stay long (I live an hour and 15 min away from him on FT Bragg). SO I said okay.
    He didn't text me all week and when I finally text him about coming there over the weekend he was short with me and said he had a lot on hes plate and was super busy with paper work and such and may had a jump to do. He just got promoted to a E7 and started the new position when he returned from TX. He has not contacted me at all. I feel like I don't know what went wrong and if I should try to keep talking to him to find out what went wrong. He has not officially ended anything with me. I am so confused and heart broken I have literally been physically sick over this. I thought this was my soul mate and the man I was going to be with forever. I have written a letter saying how I feel about everything. I have thought of emailing it to him. Can anyone give me and suggestions on what to do??? I really cant take feeling so broken much longer. I reallllly care for this man and it sucks to lose him but I cant keep feeling like I do.
    I took a peek at your post history and see you have been together since October (or were you "together" before his return and your in person meeting?) - is that correct? If so, this is a fairly new relationship and it sounds like communication has been an issue for some time with you wanting more and him wanting less....it may be a matter of the two of you have very different needs which doesn't mean either of you are right or wrong, but that you may not be right for each other.
    I think you owe it to yourself to send him the e-mail -- what he does with it at that point is your answer. Either the two of you can talk and come to some sort of understanding, he will let you know he can't give you what you are wanting from him or he'll do/say nothing which is, in itself, an answer.
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    #5
    I have not heard from him in a week now.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Hanners09 View Post
    I have not heard from him in a week now.
    It doesn't sound like you are a priority to him - in short, he's not as into you as you are into him. No response IS a response.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ol' Grey Mare View Post
    It doesn't sound like you are a priority to him - in short, he's not as into you as you are into him. No response IS a response.
    This. I firmly believe if a man wants to talk to you, or see you, he will talk to you or see you. If you haven't heard from him in a week, not even a text, I would move on to be honest. I get being busy and maybe not being able to see you, but it takes literally 2 minutes or less to send a text, and that's not much to ask.

    Plus, if you've only been together since October, you should still be in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, and if he was into you, he wouldn't get enough of seeing you, and being in contact with you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ol' Grey Mare View Post
    It doesn't sound like you are a priority to him - in short, he's not as into you as you are into him. No response IS a response.
    ZOMG. This. SO much this.

    I am going to steal this and just cut and paste it into the zillions of threads about this topic. Yes!!
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  9. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
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    #9
    IDK.. this is a hard one..

    His job very well could be taking up all his time. Like he may have thought 'I need to text/call her' but then a soldier called, or something duty related matter and it just got slipped his mind. It could also be he is ignoring you.

    Maybe he is ignoring you because he doesn't have any answers for whatever communication problems there were. If it is a new relationship that would make sense.

    *I* would drive to bragg and confront him in person, to get answers. If you know where he lives just show up and get some answers.

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrishAFSpouse View Post
    IDK.. this is a hard one..

    His job very well could be taking up all his time. Like he may have thought 'I need to text/call her' but then a soldier called, or something duty related matter and it just got slipped his mind. It could also be he is ignoring you.

    Maybe he is ignoring you because he doesn't have any answers for whatever communication problems there were. If it is a new relationship that would make sense.

    *I* would drive to bragg and confront him in person, to get answers. If you know where he lives just show up and get some answers.
    Yeah, but it may be hard for her to get on post, if he lives in the barracks. Plus he may get in trouble if she just shows up in the barracks to see him. I know some bases are pretty strict about having visitors.
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