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Thread: He couldn't be happy

  1. Almost done with college! !
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    He couldn't be happy

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    On NY Eve exDB texted me and we were talking and he mentioned he'd been thinking about breaking up with me for the past 2-3 weeks. I of course broke down and was like why, what did I do, its worth it. He said its not is it worth it. Its can he be happy in our relationship. He took me out for lunch today and paid and flirted and I thought everything is gonna be good. Nope. He broke up with me. I said you told me I was a priority. You wanted to be a couple with me in 2014 and make this our best yr ever. You said you loved me. You said our issues could be fixed. You said all that and yet you're walking away. And he was like yeah. I don't think I can be happy. I don't love you any less. I will say this don't kick me out of your life. I understand if you need time but please don't kick me out. I need us to move forward and work on ourselves and maybe in the future it'll work. Hold out hope. I handed him back all of his crap and he tried to give me some of it back and I said no.

    My friends are pissed at him. I'm just an emotional wreck. And he just drove out of there like a bat out of hell. I texted him later cause I think I may want some of it back and asked him not to throw anything out and he was like I promise I won't. And said that he really stands by moving forward and holding out hope for the future.

    I was chatting on messenger with his best friend trying to be all casual and mentioned all my friends think it BS that he wants me to hold out hope for a relationship and that's what you tell someone to make a break up easier. And his best friend was like "and here I thought you knew exDB....guess I was wrong." And I responded with I know he never says anything he doesn't mean. He chooses his words carefully especially in situations like that. And his best friend responded with , "And yet here you are doubting and saying something else. I'm not getting in the middle. I support exDBs choices. But you need to have faith Chris88 and trust." And he left it at that.

    I'm just torn up. I know he's telling me he can live without me. Idk why he still wants me in his life. Idk why his best friend is saying that. I'm just confused. My mom said it sounds like it wasn't you. It sounds like he needs to find himself. And maybe if you give him space and heal yourself and move forward y'all will get back together. He'll have a lot to prove but still. She said I never know what tomorrow brings and it could be a tiny short break up or one that it ends up with us dealing with ourselves and realizing we want to be together again or never getting back together.

    I just was looking for support from you ladies and guys.
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    I'm so sorry you are experiencing this but maybe your mom is right. DF broke up with me after a year of a LDL relationship, pretty much of the time he was deployed after talking about future plans it was all over just like that. I later came to find out that he was in some trouble with work and just couldn't tell me and risk more trouble (long story). But I moved on and within 5 months, he was contacting me. I was so angry and hurt that I ignored his attempts for 4 months. Ten months after our breakup I finally heard him out and he told me walking away was the biggest mistake of his life, that he couldn't live life without me in it. I don't want to give you false hope, but I do want to give you hope. For now, know this: this too shall pass. Whether you get back together or not, you will be ok. It will hurt and time will drag but keep your head up, give him his time and space and be strong! Everything happens for a reason…xoxo
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  4. 1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
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    #4


    Sorry that happened to you. I don't know what the deal is with your xDB, but in my corner of the world... I try to just take people at their word. You'll likely never understand his thinking, so I wouldn't bother. Focus on you and healing. After you're feeling better, you can decide what YOU want. If it aligns with where he's at... great. If not, oh well... he shouldn't have let you go to begin with!


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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by sweetvanity View Post


    Sorry that happened to you. I don't know what the deal is with your xDB, but in my corner of the world... I try to just take people at their word. You'll likely never understand his thinking, so I wouldn't bother. Focus on you and healing. After you're feeling better, you can decide what YOU want. If it aligns with where he's at... great. If not, oh well... he shouldn't have let you go to begin with!

  6. The name says it all!
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by sweetvanity View Post


    Sorry that happened to you. I don't know what the deal is with your xDB, but in my corner of the world... I try to just take people at their word. You'll likely never understand his thinking, so I wouldn't bother. Focus on you and healing. After you're feeling better, you can decide what YOU want. If it aligns with where he's at... great. If not, oh well... he shouldn't have let you go to begin with!

    I'm so sorry you're going through this, hon.

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




  7. Almost done with college! !
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    Its like I feel like he had a conversation with his best friend and his best friend was trying to tell me to stick it out. Like trust what he says and move forward but trust. And I'm not going to put my life on hold. He walked away. Not me. I made valid points.

    We'd been fighting for like a month and a half over not seeing seeing each other and how uncomfortable I felt around his family cause I was sure his mom hated me. I did apologize for making a mountain out of a mole hill and we moved on.

    He told me I should want to see you but half the time I don't. And he's talked about this before. He's like this with everyone in his life. And I pointed that out to him and said you never made up excuses to come and see me. And he was like yeah but I should cause I want to see you. And he told me he didn't think he could be what I needed as a spouse and I got mad at him and snapped. Told him he didn't get the right to make decisions for me. I was a big girl and could decide that myself and he was like ok.

    I did text him later and apologized for being mean. And he said he understood. And I said so move forward but hold out hope. And he said yeah. And I was like do you know what I mean by that and he said yeah I do. And I said ok. And he was like that's good your gonna move forward and hold out hope. I'm here if you need anything. Or if you just want to talk.

    All I want right now is him. I just don't get it. Not even a month ago we were talking about colors for our wedding and our wedding party size.
  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #9
    I'm so sorry you're going through this.
  10. No longer seeing where it goes, I'm in the driver's seat.
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    I'm sorry
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