Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 38

Thread: How did you know?

  1. Senior Member
    Chomper.'s Avatar
    Chomper. is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    AAFB
    Posts
    2,378
    #1

    How did you know?

    Advertisements
    Especially for those who had been married/in a relationship a long time... how did you know that your relationship was coming to a close? How did you know that it was time for things to end and not just another argument/broken promise/etc? What was the breaking point?

    I'm sorry if this is a very personal question, I'm just trying to figure stuff out in what feels like an extremely shakey/uncertain time, and I don't really know that many people who have been divorced.
  2. Lex Justo BAMF Patriot Guard Rider!
    Adrianne's Avatar
    Adrianne is offline
    Lex Justo BAMF Patriot Guard Rider!
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Somewhere in the cold wastelands of MN
    Posts
    9,096
    #2
    At the time, I didn't see it was ending (I chose not too). But hindsight, I see it that it started ending really the first time he actually asked me for a divorce before we'd even been married for a year. But I can see it now (and again, saw it then but chose to ignore it and pretend I didn't) that he was checked out. And when someone is checked out, in my experience, there is very little you can do to bring them back to you. Most problems I believe can be overcome, but when someone just throws up their hands and gives up... thats how I knew.
    I've been known as
    "The Enforcer" and NavyHeart


    Once more into the fray...
    Into the last good fight I'll ever know.
    Live or die on this day...
    Live and die on this day.

  3. Senior Member
    Sushi's Avatar
    Sushi is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    California
    Posts
    4,103

    #3
    When I dreaded him coming home from work I knew it was over for me. I would leave the house so I didn't have to be there when he walked in the door.
  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Procella's Avatar
    Procella is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    6,983
    #4
    When he said he was going to put off graduation for another year and I was trying to move out of state and didn't want him to come were both big clues that I didn't really get at the time. Shortly after I found myself in an emotional relationship with someone else and ended it with xDB after 5 years.
  5. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Ol' Grey Mare's Avatar
    Ol' Grey Mare is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    14,646
    #5
    The point at which I no longer cared - I was no longer hurt, upset, angry about the things that were wrong......I simply didn't care.
  6. By the power of Greyskull...
    PirateAndrea's Avatar
    PirateAndrea is offline
    By the power of Greyskull...
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Eastern NC
    Posts
    1,719
    #6
    I didn't care to be around him. I wanted to do anything BUT be around him. The little things that used to bug me blew up into things I couldn't stand- his laugh in particular (to this day if I hear a similar laugh I get chills).
  7. Senior Member
    HisBabyGirl's Avatar
    HisBabyGirl is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    772


    #7
    The fighting and lack of communication
  8. Senior Member
    MissNik's Avatar
    MissNik is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Okinawa/Washington
    Posts
    767
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by PirateAndrea View Post
    I didn't care to be around him. I wanted to do anything BUT be around him. The little things that used to bug me blew up into things I couldn't stand- his laugh in particular (to this day if I hear a similar laugh I get chills).
    I've never been divorced, but every long term relationship that I've ever been in has ended because of this.
  9. Senior Member
    Oh♥Merlot's Avatar
    Oh♥Merlot is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    5,516
    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Adrianne View Post
    At the time, I didn't see it was ending (I chose not too). But hindsight, I see it that it started ending really the first time he actually asked me for a divorce before we'd even been married for a year. But I can see it now (and again, saw it then but chose to ignore it and pretend I didn't) that he was checked out. And when someone is checked out, in my experience, there is very little you can do to bring them back to you. Most problems I believe can be overcome, but when someone just throws up their hands and gives up... thats how I knew.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sushi View Post
    When I dreaded him coming home from work I knew it was over for me. I would leave the house so I didn't have to be there when he walked in the door.
    with both of these! For me, I had a feeling after we were married for about 11 months, and he came home from his 9 month deployment for our big wedding. I had bought Red Sox tickets two days prior to our wedding (second) and he ditched me last minute to go drinking with his buddies. At that point, I knew I wasn't a priority in his life. He had known about the game for atleast 3 months, and told me he was excited. I was hurt. Months after that, he asked to divorce, and told me his heart wasn't in it anymore. Clearly, we continued for some time, but I became withdrawn, and hated being around him.
  10. Senior Member
    Chomper.'s Avatar
    Chomper. is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    AAFB
    Posts
    2,378
    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Sushi View Post
    When I dreaded him coming home from work I knew it was over for me. I would leave the house so I didn't have to be there when he walked in the door.
    This is exactly how I feel.

    I know him coming home will mean probably anger, tension, fighting no matter how nice he was to me during the day via text. I have had major anxiety attacks anticipating him comin home some days.
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •