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Thread: Divorce

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    Divorce

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    So soon to be Exdh was suppose to file for divorce per our agreement back in Jan and he still has not Which isnt surprising since he hasnt held up his end of the agreement at all. I am wanting to get this divorce over and done with. I can not afford a Lawyer and I am completely lost as what I am suppose to do. I live in a state where I have to be a resident for a year to file for a divorce. But he lives in a different state is there a way I can get around this. I don't want to have to wait that long to get my divorce. We have been separated since November of 2012 I just want to be able to move on with my life.

    Does anyone know if I can get around this Law about being a resident for a year I am in NJ.

    And the cost will it cost me alot to do this without a Lawyer. Im so lost
    TIA
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    #2
    I'm not sure the laws, so I can't fully help but I wanted to offer

    Back in the 70s, my mom waited five years from separating to get officially divorced because she wanted to date and not be able to rush into marriage I know that is totally not an accepted way of life now, but it worked for her. She dated my dad for a few years, they decided to get married and she had to hunt her husband down to get divorced. I'm sure that's not what you want, but just wanted to share. Are you trying to get back to a state other than NJ, or are you planning to stay there? I guess that would make a difference in how you approach this.
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    Quote Originally Posted by [his] lobster View Post
    I'm not sure the laws, so I can't fully help but I wanted to offer

    Back in the 70s, my mom waited five years from separating to get officially divorced because she wanted to date and not be able to rush into marriage I know that is totally not an accepted way of life now, but it worked for her. She dated my dad for a few years, they decided to get married and she had to hunt her husband down to get divorced. I'm sure that's not what you want, but just wanted to share. Are you trying to get back to a state other than NJ, or are you planning to stay there? I guess that would make a difference in how you approach this.
    We were in FL and when he said he wanted to end things I moved up here to NJ with my family. So I am staying here.
    I would stay married until I needed the divorce. But I feel like I need to just get it over with so I have closure to that chapter of my life. I feel like if I stay married I wont be able to fully get over this and move on with my life. Plus I don't want to have to hunt him down in a few years. Right now I know where he is at and it is just easier for me this way.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hisbabydoll View Post
    We were in FL and when he said he wanted to end things I moved up here to NJ with my family. So I am staying here.
    I would stay married until I needed the divorce. But I feel like I need to just get it over with so I have closure to that chapter of my life. I feel like if I stay married I wont be able to fully get over this and move on with my life. Plus I don't want to have to hunt him down in a few years. Right now I know where he is at and it is just easier for me this way.
    I totally get that, you make perfect sense. I always thought my moms story was like "whaaaaaaaaat". But .....what state is your marriage in? I do not know personally, but I thought that you got divorced in the state your marriage certificate was in, and followed their laws...maybe that makes a difference?
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    I know for my ex and I, I could file in either my state or his state of residency. I did it myself since we didn't have kids. I went down to the courthouse and asked what forms I needed. The lady told me and gave me a blank copy, and I went home and googled the form name to find examples of how I was supposed to format it. I put my request to change my last name back to my maiden name in the form so I didn't have to pay lots of money to do it as a separate legal thing later.

    I would only do it yourself if you don't have kids and all of your assets have been divided fairly between you already. If there are ANY outstanding issues you need to resolve, then I'd find a way to get a lawyer.
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    When I got my divorce neither one of us had a lawyer. I just printed the paperwork off the internet and took it to the courthouse. I think it cost $500 total and we split it. We had no children or any assets. I wanted the divorce so I let him have all the furniture except a bed and the stuff I had before we got married.

    I don't know about the year residency thing since that wasn't an issue in Texas.
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    Does he also live in jersey? Any kids?
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