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Thread: Should I pull back a little?

  1. in love.
    missaubrey's Avatar
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    #1

    Question Should I pull back a little?

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    I hang with my inlaws a lot. DH has 4 sisters (16, 16, 24 and 23) and 1 brother. We have actually gotten along wonderfully in the past year or so. It's crazy because from the start his mom was a nightmare (if anyone remembers how obscene she used to be). They are the ones that actually encouraged me to get out of the house while DH is gone because their words were "if he can go out and have fun every weekend, you should be able to also!". So things have been cool between us. I know the relationship between DH and his family. Which brings me to my question...

    My Dad and a few other friends told me I need to spend less time with my in laws because of what's going on. They say "You don't know what they are telling him" or "They can be setting you up!". As I said, I know DH's relationship with his family. He speaks to them once in a blue moon because they are always asking me to ask him to call them and asking how he is doing, etc... That and I'm not doing anything wrong that they can "tattle tale" about.

    With all that being said, should I pull away from the in laws while all of this is going down? I know when it comes down to the nitty gritty, blood is thicker than water and they can turn on me in the blink of an eye, but they are the only ones that give me a break from the kids because nobody in the house works and my family works all the time.

    I don't want this to get ugly in any way shape or form.
    hi.
  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    while all of what is going down?
  3. in love.
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    Oh silly me. I forgot to add. Marital separation.
    hi.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by missaubrey View Post
    Oh silly me. I forgot to add. Marital separation.
    for you and your DH I presume?

    if I were in your position, I would limit the time spent with them..however I do not know the dynamic.
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    #5
    Your marriage and its problems is between you and your husband. A lot of the times family will pick sides but not always. When I broke up with my long term boyfriend the first person I vented to was his mother. His little sis is like my little sis and his little brother (my age) is cool too. I'd say the only thing that could happen is that your hubby could become pissy with you being cozy with them.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by missaubrey View Post
    Oh silly me. I forgot to add. Marital separation.
    Are you and DH trying to patch things up? If not then I'd back off

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    #7
    Are you trying to patch it up or is this just till you can get a divorce?
  8. in love.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by DubzSoPretty View Post
    Are you and DH trying to patch things up? If not then I'd back off
    Quote Originally Posted by MeldaMegildur View Post
    Are you trying to patch it up or is this just till you can get a divorce?
    No patching up things. You have to be separated for at least a year in NC until you can file anything.
    hi.
  9. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by missaubrey View Post
    No patching up things. You have to be separated for at least a year in NC until you can file anything.
    Are there children involved that would require you to keep ties with his side of the family?
    If not, then I definitely think that you should take a couple big steps back.. If there are children involved, then you have to keep it comfortable for the children so I'd be around but wouldn't be too deep in.

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    #10
    My concern would be are you continuing the reliance on that support network at the expense/exclusion of starting to build a new support network outside of his family that you may need once things have finalized?
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