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Thread: He likes another girl at AIT + voice mail break up.

  1. Senior Member
    stephnh's Avatar
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    #1

    He likes another girl at AIT + voice mail break up. -- Update

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    *UPDATE* She's divorcing - Post 50

    So he tells me she's getting a divorce, but this was already in the works before he came along. He told me if she wasn't married that he would 'wait a while' before he dated her because he 'wouldn't do that to me'... like what the fuck. He tells me that she isn't the reason for our problems yet he's telling me he wants to date her.... How on earth did my super sweet, loving, caring boyfriend turn against me so abruptly and latch on to this girl? Who may or may not even want to be with him.. which she won't tell him because she doesn't want to get UCMJ.

    Wtf happened to my relationship


    And she's freaking married.

    When he first got to AIT he called me almost every night and texted me as much as he could. As time went on he starting calling less and less until it stopped. Then he claimed that he was okay with just texting. Then the fighting began that I wanted to talk on the phone and he didn't, he said he didn't want to call because 'I was mad at him' so he didn't want to call me because I was mad. Then this led to less and less texting.

    I was completely confused as to why his behavior changed so suddenly. I even talked to his parents (which his dad has been in the army for 20 years, so they know how military relationships work) and talked to them if I was asking to much from him. His dad said that there was no reason why he can't call at least once a day for 5 minutes or so and say what's going on. (which I wasn't even asking him to call me this much) exDB seemed to disagree and that I needed to understand that he was hanging out with his friends and playing xbox.

    He would tell me he would call and then wouldn't. He thinks one 20 minute phone call on the weekend (which he has off) is too much because he's too busy hanging out with his friends. At first I was heartbroken over this because why would the guy who talks about marrying me and proposing to me later on this year suddenly not want to spend a couple minutes away from his friends to talk to me. I had even asked him on a few occasions if he had liked another girl (or guy), which he said no. He kept saying he still loved me, still wanted to be in a relationship with me, and he still talked about wanting to marry me, etc.

    One Saturday he tells me he'll call me on Sunday. Sunday comes around and I send him a text asking if he can call me because I didn't want to have to stay up late since I had class the next day. He says he'll call later because he's busy watching movies with his buddies and -Female Friend- hasn't seen these movies so he wants to watch them with her. His bed check doesn't happen until midnight his time, which is 2am my time and he says he can't call because it's too late now. He thinks he's completely off the hook because he's in the army and his plans didn't work out. He had allll freaking weekend to call me and chose not to. He's told me multiple times that he'll call me and then doesn't.

    The next day and a half he doesn't text me. Then he texted me for two days. Then the next two days he ignored me. That next Saturday he calls and says that we need to 'take a break' (still in a relationship though). Immediately after this phone call -Second Female Friend- posts on his facebook wall 'tryina spit game' and talking about his 'meat,' which later on I find out his been talking to her about us and that post was purposely for my viewing after he tells me we should 'take a break'. Very classy.

    Tuesday I find a screenshot of a text message between exDB and -Female Friend- on photostream (My iPad and his iPhone are connected, which he knows his, he is just absent minded) and she said 'I can't really tell you much I'm still married and I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to lose a friend can't really say more I don't want to get ucmj lol'

    Wednesday he says that he's made his decision. We skype. I ask him about -Female Friend- and he says that they are just friends. He finds her attractive and he told her that he liked her, because he had to 'tell her the truth.' Along with that I finally asked him if he had any lies he wanted to confess to. He said no. Then I ran through and some stuff that I knew he has been lying to me about. He had no idea I had a clue about any of it, including the screenshot text message. He says that -Female Friend- isn't the problem, it's that I want to talk to him too much and I won't be able to handle his future training (which is BS). Then he had to go to formation and he said he would call me back.

    1. He said he's would call me several times and never did.
    2. He never said right after formation.
    3. He has class soon after formation so I never thought he'd call me back right after.

    I had a club meeting at school I had to get to, so I pack up and get on the shuttle. While I'm on the shuttle I check my phone and notice a missed call and voice mail from exDB. In less than a minute voice mail he says the conclusion that he's come to is that we should end the relationship.

    I got dumped via voicemail while sitting on the shuttle on my way to campus.



    He's a completely different person now than the guy I fell in love with. I knew the Army would change him, but I didn't think it would be for the worse. He's hanging around trashy people and it's reflecting in his personality. I'm more pissed off than sad about how our relationship ended because he's not the same guy anymore. I knew our relationship wasn't on the best terms but a few days before he said that we should 'take a break' he said he would buy me a plane ticket to come visit him that weekend, so the relationship went from planning on buying a planet ticket to come visit to breaking up in less than a week. Talk about a clusterfuck.

    Sorry this is incredibly long and probably confusing, I just feel like I had to get it out there.
    Last edited by stephnh; 04-28-2013 at 01:22 PM. Reason: Update - post 50: Title update fail.
  2. the siren that sings you home
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    #2
    I'm so sorry that he's done this to you. You definitely deserve better than that.


    Johanna is my wifey!
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    wow....just wow. Some people just think with the wrong parts of their bodies You deserve so much better than that
    " u know those things that are like candy canes that taste like christmas in ur mouth what are those called?" " umm candy canes?" "Yeahhhh" R.I.P Christian

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    #4
    Well, it sounds like you're better off without that jerk! I'm sorry things didn't work out.
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    #5
    I am sorry he did that You deserve way better

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    #6
    WOOOOOWWWW. I cannot express how lucky you are to be rid of this asshat. Obviously he is extremely immature and doesn't know how to have a loving relationship. You deserve more and a man that appreciates you.

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    #7
    I'm so sorry. Karma will get him, hopefully this girl will stay with her husband and make your ex realize he was an idiot. "Don't leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love"
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    #8
    What an asshole. I'm so so sorry that you had to go through that.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by 907Kim View Post
    I'm so sorry that he's done this to you. You definitely deserve better than that.
    Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by Johanna View Post
    wow....just wow. Some people just think with the wrong parts of their bodies You deserve so much better than that
    He definitely is thinking with the wrong body part.... Thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by KaityBug View Post
    Well, it sounds like you're better off without that jerk! I'm sorry things didn't work out.
    Thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mommyof2in09 View Post
    I am sorry he did that You deserve way better
    Thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by AndreaClaire View Post
    WOOOOOWWWW. I cannot express how lucky you are to be rid of this asshat. Obviously he is extremely immature and doesn't know how to have a loving relationship. You deserve more and a man that appreciates you.
    I am really lucky that his happened now and not a few years down the road when we were married/with kids. Instead of the Army making him more mature, I feel like he took several steps back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Candice. View Post
    I'm so sorry. Karma will get him, hopefully this girl will stay with her husband and make your ex realize he was an idiot. "Don't leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love"
    I hope she does too. He's not worth it and if he can do that to me, he can do that to her as well. I feel like once he realizes that she doesn't want to be with him, he will see what a big mistake he's made.
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    #10
    Wow, I'm so sorry! He doesn't deserve you!
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