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Thread: He wants me back

  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    Confused He wants me back

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    Ok so here is my post when exdb left me about 2 weeks ago.
    How to begin to move on?

    New problem he has been messaging me nonstop on Facebook for the last 4 or 5 days begging me to talk to him. So today I became weak and replied with a simple hi. Well he is now saying he loves me and wants me back and I'm so confused. It's hard because I really haven't had a chance to get over him and still love him but he was a complete a-hole when he left me. He wants to Skype tomorrow. I don't know if I should but I do want to hear him out. He says he was having a bad week and has been stressing over his upcoming deployment is why he left. He says he doesn't want to put me through the emotional chaos of a deployment and that I deserve a boyfriend who can be there for me. I told him I couldn't talk tonight cause I had class and left it at that till tomorrow. I want him back in all honesty but I feel like I shouldn't want him back because of the way he just dumped me like I was nothing's. Any advice would be wonderful
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    #2
    I probably dont have any or great advice, other than like you said hear him out, he was an a-hole for doing that to you but if you can work it out and come to terms and tell him how you feel, especially after what he has said to you and make him understand it was not right at all... but who knows.
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    #3
    Yea, that what I was thinking.... I guess ill see how it all turns out tomorrow when he and I Skype.
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    #4
    Bad week or no, I wouldn't give someone who treated me like another opportunity.

    What he said to you was disrespectful and nasty, two traits he's chosen to show you. All the abject apologies in the world would fail to sway me.
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    #5
    Hmph what he did was worse than putting you through a deployment. He said he didn't give two shits about you, that is NOT how to spare someone's feelings. Not ok, how will he react next time he is under stress? Defiantly don't take him back until y'all talk this out...

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    #6
    I would also like to add that I recall how stunned and hurt your posts were after he treated you that way.

    I can appreciate your desire to find closure but I that he may use this time to manipulate you with no thought of the damage he's already done.

    Can you trust what he says?
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Lychee View Post
    I would also like to add that I recall how stunned and hurt your posts were after he treated you that way.

    I can appreciate your desire to find closure but I that he may use this time to manipulate you with no thought of the damage he's already done.

    Can you trust what he says?
    I honestly don't know. I cannot let him off the hook easily... If we were to get back together he has a lot of work before we get to that point. It's just so hard because I still love him but he needs to know he cannot treat me like crap and then blame work or his up coming deployment.
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    #8
    I'm conflicted with what to tell you. Earlier this year when my husband first deployed, he told me he wanted a divorce. He was exceptionally hurtful to me, not unlike what your ex has done to you. He eventually came around and has been busting his ass to make up for what happened and of course I am continuing to work on our marriage because I love him. He really did let stress of his first deployment dictate his behavior and we are working on getting past that. I am glad I made the choice to work things out with him. However, my immediate reaction after seeing this was to tell you to run far and run fast away from your DB. You can still get out and it's not good to be with someone who toys with your feelings. My advice is clearly exactly opposite of what I actually did.

    You two had been together for two years prior to this. Was this the first time he has done anything like this? You know him better than we do. Only you can say if you think this was really a bad reaction to stress and out of character for him. What I definitely say is that if you do choose to stay with him, you make sure he knows that there is a long road ahead of him full of hard work to regain your trust. If he's willing to do the work, then it means he truly is sorry. If he half asses it or doesn't follow through, then you know he's not serious about the relationship. Just try to guard your heart at first. He needs to work to earn trust and love from you.


    for you.


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    #9
    I can't believe that a person you spent two years with talked to you and treated you like that. So careless. I'm sorry. But my husband is proof that people can change (7 years later and I wouldn't have ever believed he was the d-bag he once was). I wish you luck. I'm sure you'll do the right thing. 1 of my favorite quotes, is: "Follow your heart, but take your brain with you."
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    #10
    If you want to listen to him, listen to him. But for me, I wouldn't be able to be with someone who treated me so terribly because he had a "bad week". What happens when he has another bad week? Will you live in fear waiting for the next time he decides he doesn't need you in his life right that moment?


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