Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: How to begin to move on?

  1. Senior Member
    brainsandbrawn's Avatar
    brainsandbrawn is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    321
    #1

    How to begin to move on?

    Advertisements
    Well, my DB is now ex-DB. I hadn't heard from him for two weeks and then Sunday he messaged me over Facebook and left me. He said he couldn't continue to include me in his life. I asked if we could talk and he said no. I called him a coward saying that "this is the cowards way out of a relationship". He came back and messages me that he wasn't a coward this is just how he breaks up with people he doesn't give "two shits about". I then told him to F off and that I hoped he had a wonderful life.
    I am extremely heart broken and confused. The last time we talked before all of this mess happened he told me that he loved me more than anything and wanted me to move the ring he got me for my birthday from my right ring finger to my left, as a reminder that he would always love me. I don't understand what went wrong during those two weeks and I have no clue how to move on. I have lost my best friend and boy friend in one failed swoop. I'm at a loss as to how our 2 year relationship was just thrown away so easily. I know me and him have had our troubles but nothing that would cause him to leave me like this. I'm still in love with him and I don't know where to begin because the only thing everyone seems to have to say is that it's a good thing that he is gone. So maybe some of ya'll can help me, how do I begin to move on? Any advice is welcome

    Please excuse any typos, I am using my iPad because my laptop is currently at the computer hospital.
  2. Senior Member
    bdizzle's Avatar
    bdizzle is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    19,693
    #2
    Moving on is a process not an over night thing. Allow yourself to be angry, to be sad, blame him if you need to. Get out and do things, go out with friends, get a hobby, volunteer. And sometimes you will regress back to anger or sadness and that's okay. It just takes time. Eventually you won't think about him as much (and that might make you sad and that's okay) and you'll be able to accept your faults in the realationship, grieve it, and move on. But it takes time. I think it took a good 6 months for me to begin to accept my old relationship for what it was and a year to finally say I moved on.

    eta: and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Heartbreak is terrible, especially when so sudden and so vehement.


  3. Senior Member
    Katayoun's Avatar
    Katayoun is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    4,244
    #3
    That really is the cowards way out. Know that he is doing you a favor if that's how he "communicates" with people. It will get better with time. Hang in there
  4. Account Closed
    MissyMe's Avatar
    MissyMe is offline
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    1,033
    #4
    I would say the best way to move on is to let yourself grieve it. I mean, yes, he ended the relationship in a completely douchetastic way, but that doesn't mean it's going to hurt any less. After a 2 year relationship I would say it probably hurts worse. I also imagine it will be hard to move on without closure of what happened to make him end it, and that may either be something you'll have to deal with or maybe once he pulls his head out of...wherever it is... he'll at least have the decency to let you know how he came to the conclusion that the relationship needed to end. For now tho, I personally would have a sit down with a tub of cookie dough and a cheesy ass movie, and let myself mourn my relationship. Then once I let it out some, I'd probably find ways to keep myself busy and put my energy into something that I feel is worth my time.


  5. Senior Member
    brainsandbrawn's Avatar
    brainsandbrawn is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    321
    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by pftube View Post
    Moving on is a process not an over night thing. Allow yourself to be angry, to be sad, blame him if you need to. Get out and do things, go out with friends, get a hobby, volunteer. And sometimes you will regress back to anger or sadness and that's okay. It just takes time. Eventually you won't think about him as much (and that might make you sad and that's okay) and you'll be able to accept your faults in the realationship, grieve it, and move on. But it takes time. I think it took a good 6 months for me to begin to accept my old relationship for what it was and a year to finally say I moved on.

    eta: and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Heartbreak is terrible, especially when so sudden and so vehement.
    Thank you , I just wish I knew what changed. I'm sorry to hear it took you so long to move on. However, it does make me feel better because I can tell its going to take a long time for me to move on and I don't feel so silly for needing to take that time.
  6. Senior Member
    brainsandbrawn's Avatar
    brainsandbrawn is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    321
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by photographerkate View Post
    That really is the cowards way out. Know that he is doing you a favor if that's how he "communicates" with people. It will get better with time. Hang in there
    Thanks
    btw I love your siggy it made me laugh out loud
    Quote Originally Posted by CandiLynn View Post
    I would say the best way to move on is to let yourself grieve it. I mean, yes, he ended the relationship in a completely douchetastic way, but that doesn't mean it's going to hurt any less. After a 2 year relationship I would say it probably hurts worse. I also imagine it will be hard to move on without closure of what happened to make him end it, and that may either be something you'll have to deal with or maybe once he pulls his head out of...wherever it is... he'll at least have the decency to let you know how he came to the conclusion that the relationship needed to end. For now tho, I personally would have a sit down with a tub of cookie dough and a cheesy ass movie, and let myself mourn my relationship. Then once I let it out some, I'd probably find ways to keep myself busy and put my energy into something that I feel is worth my time.


    Thanks cookie dough does sound delicious right now
  7. Senior Member
    bdizzle's Avatar
    bdizzle is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    19,693
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by brainsandbrawn View Post
    Thank you , I just wish I knew what changed. I'm sorry to hear it took you so long to move on. However, it does make me feel better because I can tell its going to take a long time for me to move on and I don't feel so silly for needing to take that time.
    Sometimes you never get the closure I never knew what changed with my ex, I made guesses. I saw him once about a year later too and he completely ignored me. I guess I'll never know. You might have to accept that you will never know.


  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Cara's Avatar
    Cara is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,202

    #8
    I am so sorry! I was broken up with without much closure a little over a year ago. It was a 4 year relationship, and honestly, it was terrible. The best thing I did was cut off any communication and even stopped hanging around people that were mostly "his" friends. It hurt too much to hear how much he was moving on, while I felt like I wasn't. I leaned on friends a lot, and kept busy. I would do one new thing each week. Sometimes hiking, or doing a craft, just something new. I can truly say I am over him and hold no hard feelings. Best of all I realized I am so much stronger now than I ever was with him! Take time to cry and be hurt. If you ever need to talk, I am here! I am more of a lurker but have been around here for a while. You are strong!
  9. There's no testimony without the test.
    Jam*I*am's Avatar
    Jam*I*am is offline
    There's no testimony without the test.
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Fort Bragg
    Posts
    2,212
    #9
    I'm so sorry
  10. Senior Member
    BlinkyBear's Avatar
    BlinkyBear is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Me: Lost. Him: Japan
    Posts
    5,798
    #10
    I'm sorry that he didn't have the courage to tell you face to face. You may never get the answers you seek so you must find closure within yourself to start moving forward again.
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •