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Thread: So it ends.

  1. ...and carry a towel.
    Space Hedgehog's Avatar
    Space Hedgehog is offline
    ...and carry a towel.
    Join Date
    Dec 2010

    So it ends.

    So, I figured it's time I say something.

    My marriage is over. I asked my husband, or should I say my soon-ex-husband, for a divorce, and while he didn't want it, he agreed to it without a fight. We hired a lawyer, he prepared the papers needed, I am signing them this week and sending them to the US, where the actual divorce will take place. If all goes according to plan, I should be legally single in about 2 months, plus/minus two weeks or so.

    There are many things I feel about it. There is disappointment, this is certainly not how I wanted this to end. There is sadness, of course, and a sense of loss. There is also guilt, because my request hurt him, and while I suffered the death of our relationship piece by piece over time, he chose to close his eyes to it, and is going through all the pain at once. There is the sense of failure, because my marriage didn't even last a year. But there is also relief, because we weren't happy and I couldn't keep living trying to pretend we were. There is excitement for what the future might bring, and I don't mean what men, but more like, what new paths that I didn't even consider, in my focus to making this impossible, complicated military thing work between us. And slowly, there is the acceptance that there were mistakes made, and some of them were made by me, and there are lessons I need to learn.

    There is no great drama between us. There is, of course, drama at the moment, we are both hurt, and some regretful things were and will be said, but this is part of the course of break-ups. We remain in good, albeit strained, relations now. I don't hate him, and he doesn't hate me. Sometimes things don't work, despite the best of intentions.

    To those of you who have observed I've gotten sharper over time, perhaps you are right. I was overwhelmingly unhappy, and unhappiness has this talent for making us less generous towards our fellow human beings. If anyone has felt personally slighted, belittled or disparaged by me, I apologise. It was not intentional. I am a person of strong opinions and strong words and that has not changed, but I never want to use those to attack persons, only ever to discuss ideas. As such I genuinely regret any harm or offence I might have caused.

    I am no longer a military significant other, and I have absolutely no intention to ever be one again. As such, I am currently not sure I will stick around. Maybe, maybe not. There are many things changing in my life right now, and when it's all settled, I'll see how I'll feel. But whatever the case may be, thank you for everything. You made navigating the US military possible and understandable for me. When I first came here, it was all a frustrating mystery, I had no idea what I was dealing with, but you helped me understand this life. In the end, it will not be my life, but it wasn't for lack of knowledge that my marriage failed.
  2. Account Closed
    Lynn's Avatar
    Lynn is offline
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    It could be worse.
  3. Ummmmm...........
    Abbynormal's Avatar
    Abbynormal is offline
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    Nov 2011
    San Diego, CA
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  4. Super Speshil
    SoulCupcake's Avatar
    SoulCupcake is offline
    Super Speshil
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    The point of no return. Is that a duty station?
    V. Stick around. You're part of the SOS community. There are folks here who are no longer with military SOs. My DB is a civilian.
    Pax, Aeon
  5. Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Malfoy's Avatar
    Malfoy is offline
    Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
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    Aug 2011
    Virginia Beach, VA
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  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
    HisCrazyGirl's Avatar
    HisCrazyGirl is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Nov 2010


    I really hope you decide to stick around, I really enjoy seeing you around the board and am always interested in what you have to say.
  7. Mermaids4Lyfe, YO!
    Mrs.Mermaid.'s Avatar
    Mrs.Mermaid. is offline
    Mermaids4Lyfe, YO!
    Join Date
    Oct 2009


    I hope you decide to stick around.
  8. No longer seeing where it goes, I'm in the driver's seat.
    AmandaA's Avatar
    AmandaA is offline
    No longer seeing where it goes, I'm in the driver's seat.
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
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    I'm sorry Space. I hope you stick around, you know we don't care, it's you we want. I'm sorry you've been so unhappy and I hope you can get happy again and see the paths open up before you.
  9. I Will Rise Above
    Never a *Just*'s Avatar
    Never a *Just* is offline
    I Will Rise Above
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Eastern Washington

    . I agree that you should stick around you are a valuable to us and part of our community regardless of SO.
  10. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
    Tojai's Avatar
    Tojai is offline
    Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    St. Pete FL

    I absolutely hope you will stay, I think it would be a big loss to our community if you didn't. That being said, it's about what's best for you, so by all means take the time to make the right decision for yourself. I'm here if you need anything.
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