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Thread: Don't know how to get through this...:(

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    #1

    Don't know how to get through this...:(

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    I need to vent, I need support and people who can relate to what I'm going through...My ex DB (can't bring myself to call him that) was home recently. We haven't been officially together for the last couple months, but we were still very close, saw each other, talked everyday,etc. (we've always been in an LDR) and he said he couldn't handle it, he liked and missed me, but didn't want to be attached. I accepted the fact that were going to stay really close just without a title. He came home for 2 weeks, we saw each other, we acted like when we were dating. He freaked out one day and told me not to get too attached. I thought it was crazy since he was the one who still acted like my bf and seemed really excited to see me. When he left we both agreed I would go see him soon. After he left I didn't hear from him as much as I was expecting...I've noticed there was one girl who always talked to him on FB and even though it did worry me a little I tried to not make a big deal out of it. He talked to a lot of people and he told me she was "just friends"...Well last week I talked to him a few times, we Skyped, he told me he missed me and kept asking when I can come see him...I noticed that same girl was posting on his FB A LOT and I casually asked him if it's something serious. He said no, he doesn't want a relationship. Btw, he's been friends on FB with this person for only 2 months and hasn't met her in person yet! A few days ago he changed his relationship status on FB to "in a relationship" with her! Just a couple days before that he told me he likes me a lot too, but we're too far away right now (we live in the same hometown though) and then gets into a "relationship" with someone from far away when this whole time he's been saying he doesn't want an LDR or any relationships. I stopped talking to him and he's trying really hard to talk to me. He still thinks we can be friends! This whole thing is SO messed up...I can't believe he would do something so dumb and he has no idea how much this is hurting me. I wish he had the balls to at least not lie about it and play with my emotions. I don't know what I feel anymore...I've done so much, been there for him and it feels like I don't matter at all. I need your support Ladies and any advice you can give...

    P.S. It's so unfair, because even though we didn't have a title we were still emotionally involved and talked every day before he came home. I feel like he completely betrayed my trust...
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    #2
    I'm sorry this is such a rubbish situation and you are hurting, I don't think i would speak to him either tbh because although you didn't officially have a tittle at the time he wasn't acting like there was nothing going on anymore so i would be pretty angry. I'm sorry
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    #3
    I would not invest more emotion into him than you already have considering how his words do not match his actions. He sounds like he likes the attention from you but lacks respect or concern for your feelings. I'm sorry that he hurt you.
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    I just think it's such a dumb thing to do..None of his friends approve of it. He hasn't even seen the girl...and already "in a relationship"...I talked to him for 5 or 6 months before making it FB official. He doesn't know her, none of her friends know him and how he is (we had trust issues, he cheated on his gf's in the past) and it's really painful for me to watch. I should delete him, but I can't bring myself to do it. He's been obsessed with FB lately, talking to girls, adding random girls he doesn't know, etc. I couldn't get upset about these things, because as he always said if there was an issue "we're not dating", yet he still enjoyed all the benefits of dating and I know it's my own fault for allowing it. I still care about him, so this is really heartbreaking...
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Lychee View Post
    I would not invest more emotion into him than you already have considering how his words do not match his actions. He sounds like he likes the attention from you but lacks respect or concern for your feelings. I'm sorry that he hurt you.
    That's exactly right...he misses something about me/talking to me but his behavior says he doesn't respect me at all. I don't think he realizes how I feel...He's not a very emotional guy. I don't understand the way he acts...he wants to know what I'm doing, questions every guy friend I talk to and seems jealous. I really don't get it...It's like he wants his cake and eat it too. He doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me.

    Since I've been ignoring his attempts to talk he gets mad at me. I think it's his way of making me talk to him..It makes me feel bad, but honestly in this situation he definitely shouldn't be the one getting upset. Ugh :/
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    #6
    I'm sorry. Cut comms and move on. You deserve better.





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solstice View Post
    I'm sorry. Cut comms and move on. You deserve better.
    I know I do, but I still love him :/ I feel so hurt and humiliated and he's enjoying his life...Does karma really exist?
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    I believe it does and he will get his. Success is the best revenge. Mourn, heal and move on. Find the person you were meant to be with...and one day when he's sad and lonely and looking for his back up you can tell him to piss off, you are happy and have moved on up to bigger and better things.





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Solstice View Post
    I believe it does and he will get his. Success is the best revenge. Mourn, heal and move on. Find the person you were meant to be with...and one day when he's sad and lonely and looking for his back up you can tell him to piss off, you are happy and have moved on up to bigger and better things.
    That's the only thing that helps me move forward...That someday I will be happy again. Right now it's just very difficult to see light at the end of that tunnel...I'm going through so many emotions, I've been so stressed out and miserable this past week. I do my best at hiding it and then I break down. Thinking of the holidays makes me super depressed. I don't wish bad things to happen to him, but I want him to someday hurt just like I'm hurting right now. It's so unfair...
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    #10
    I'm so sorry. I had something similar like that happen with an ex. We went out for a year but he wanted to take the title off bc he didn't want a "relationship". Which I understood bc he had JUST gotten out of a bad marriage. He told me he never wanted to get married again..... Ever. Not even a couple days after he broke up with me, he had a girlfriend and it wasn't me. He's married to her now (even though he swore up and down he never would) and has always tried to keep in contact with me but he hurt me so much I couldn't do it.
    Ill tell you what I told myself back then...... Though he may say he doesnt want a relationship, he obviously does. Just not one with you



    I'm sorry. It sounds awful and so blunt but its the truth bc if he truly appreciated you, he would be there with you and not with her. I know it hurts so much but it will get better. Move past him. He is not worth it. If he can not see your worth he doesn't deserve you. There are good men out there who will not put you through this.

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