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Thread: Is it possible or is it really that difficult?

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    #1

    Is it possible or is it really that difficult?

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    I wasn't sure where to put this. I realize this is kind of a loaded topic since there are many different views on it, so if it needs to be moved please do so. I thought this was the most appropriate place since I'm talking about what happens after "the love is gone".

    My question is: Is it possible to be friends with someone that you used to have "a thing" with?

    I've stayed friends with one guy I used to non-exclusively date until he got a girlfriend that didn't like me and we just lost touch. I recently ran into someone else I used to see. Only reason we were not already friends was because it ended on bad terms. I actually stuck around long enough to talk to him about what happened between us and things were fine when I left. I hug you, you hug me, we go our separate ways... I guess. Personally, I would love to still have him in my life because he was a good friend. I don't think us being in a relationship could have ever worked out, but I still enjoy his company. We talked about the possibility of us being friends but haven't come to a conclusion on it yet. This leads me to my question...

    Is anyone out there friends with an ex? Why or why not?
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    #2
    I have a couple ex's that I am still friends with. It's not like we talk all the time or hang out all the time. But we talk now and then. I think if both people TRULY do not have "those" feelings for each other any more than yes, you can still be friends with an ex. But it is a fine line because sometimes one of the individuals may still harbor feelings. If that's the case, then it's bound to be awkward and possibly become a bad situation.

    So all in all.. yes I feel like it is absolutely possible. But it's on a case by case basis.

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    #3
    Okay can I just say that you scared the shit out of me, when I saw a thread from you in life after love? NOT COOL


    Anyways, for me, friends isn't possible. They either hate me or I hate them, so.


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    #4
    My ex and I are kinda friends, but not really. We have things in common however, we don't go out of our ways to talk to each other on a daily basis
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    #5
    I'm friendly with 3 of my exes. One in a 'Hey how are YOU?' kind of way when we run into each other and two in a friendly meet up for lunch once a year kind of way. DH is iffy about it sometimes, but honestly, I was friendly with them before DH and I were together so I'm not going to cut ties with them, KWIM?

    I would not, however, suddenly become friends with an ex from years ago now that DH and I are together. That wouldn't be cool, IMO.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by briannanoel View Post
    Okay can I just say that you scared the shit out of me, when I saw a thread from you in life after love? NOT COOL


    Anyways, for me, friends isn't possible. They either hate me or I hate them, so.
    I figured anyone who knew me IRL would be like "awww helll nawww". Everything is good in the house of CrummyCupcake.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by PinkyLee View Post
    I have a couple ex's that I am still friends with. It's not like we talk all the time or hang out all the time. But we talk now and then. I think if both people TRULY do not have "those" feelings for each other any more than yes, you can still be friends with an ex. But it is a fine line because sometimes one of the individuals may still harbor feelings. If that's the case, then it's bound to be awkward and possibly become a bad situation.

    So all in all.. yes I feel like it is absolutely possible. But it's on a case by case basis.
    Yeah, this is where I stand on it.
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    #8
    I think yes, it is possible depending on the circumstances. It takes time to get over the relationship and any romantic feelings too.

    My ex from college and I are still friends. We didn't talk for about a year though. We dated for 3 years and now live across the country from each other but we chat on FB occasionally and I'll have dinner with him when I go home for Thanksgiving.

    But I also have an ex I will never talk to or be friends with again. It ended horribly.

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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by CrummyCupCake View Post
    Yeah, this is where I stand on it.
    I definitely have some ex's that I'll never talk to again because as much as I dont care about them like that anymore, I know their intentions would not be so innocent. So I avoid that at all costs. But there are definitely ex's that are like my best friends and I know I can talk to them about anything and trust them and it be on a purely ..we've known each other forever and been through a lot I'm here for you as a friend ...kinda way.

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    #10
    I'm only on "bad" terms with one ex, the most recent one, but I wouldn't say I'm friends with any of my exes. If we ran into one we would be friendly and such but we don't seek each other out.

    My life doesn't have a void without any of them They are nice men and all of that, the relationships just didn't work out, but I never had a friendship run so deeply with one that I felt I was truly incomplete without him. I think letting go of the friendship aspect helps each person move on, personally.
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